April 7

Dear Diary,

Jared picked me up this morning. He held my hand as he walked me to the car and then opened the door for me again, all the while smiling that adorably sexy smile that makes his cheeks and chin dimple. Chin dimples are now my all time favorite things!

He seemed to think that this was all completely normal, this sudden need to be with him for every moment. Well, he probably doesn't feel this. Not like I do. It just wouldn't be possible for him to start feeling like this about me. He's cool and confident and beautiful and I'm… not any of those things.

"How are you, Kim?" he said, turning to me as we got in his car. It wasn't just a nonchalant, start of the conversation type of question. He didn't seem to just be throwing it out there, making small talk and expecting to hear the usual 'alright' in return.

I looked into his warm eyes as he waited to turn the car on, his key in the ignition but unturned.

"Great, thanks."

He smiled and started the car, pulling out of my drive.

"You?"

I hope and pray Scott doesn't see Jared picking me up or dropping me off. Because then he'll tell Mom and then she'll go mental. If she finds out I've been getting lifts off random guys in my year then I think she'll automatically start to get suspicious and think I'm pregnant. That's the sort of thing she does.

"I'm fantastic," Jared said softly, grinning to himself.

He's so cute.

"Okay, so I have to pick Paul up too, but as I said before; just ignore him. Like, ignore every single thing that he says because it will all be either him being a dick or him trying to make shit up, okay?"

I nodded and he let out a slow breath, nodding as well.

I crossed my legs and turned to him. "Did you do the math homework?" I asked and his face fell.

"What?"

I couldn't help but laugh. He stared at me.

"You're kidding right?"

"Nope."

He groaned. "I really don't want another detention."

"You should of done the homework then," I said, grinning.

He rolled his eyes and shot a playful glare at me. "It's my second day back, gimme a break. How was I supposed to pay attention yesterday when –"

Jared's mouth froze open, just before he was about to say another word. He turned his body back to the road again and he looked at me out of the corner of his eyes before turning them to stare unblinkingly at the road.

"When… I… was still getting over mono."

"Yeah."

I looked out the window because I knew he was lying again.

I don't know why he was lying or what he was lying about, but it was obvious. I don't know why he was making it so blatant. Surely you can't be that bad of a liar that you panic whenever you do it?

We pulled up outside Paul's house and he hopped into the car not soon after.

"Alright, love birds?"

I could feel my face flaming as I averted my gaze, instead choosing to stare with wide eyes at the radio.

"Seriously, Paul," Jared turned around, glaring at his friend, his jaw clenched. "Put your seatbelt on and shut the fuck up or you can walk."

Without having to turn round I could tell Paul was pulling a face, but I heard the clink of the seatbelt so he must have listened to Jared.

"Someone's a bit hormonal lately," Paul muttered and Jared huffed out a breath, glaring at Paul again through the rear view mirror.

"So, how are you, Kimmy?" Paul asked, leaning forward to rest his arm on my chair. I turned to look at him, trying not to cringe at the use of that name.

"Fine."

"Jared's using his smooth moves on you, I hear," he said, grinning and I blushed for the second time that morning. I looked at Jared, who was gripping the steering wheel tightly. Did he talk to him about it? The driving home? The kiss on the cheek? The number? Or the constant texting that went on last night?

"Paul."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever. I'm just trying to help speed this up for you, man. I'm only trying to help." He couldn't stop laughing, though, so the sincerity of that statement seemed to trickle away a little.

"Speed what up exactly?" I asked.

It went silent.

I was a little bit… annoyed. Did they mean sex? Was that what this was about? Was Jared just suddenly taking an interest in me because he thought I'd be easy to bed? All he had to do was turn on his 'smooth moves'?

"Nothing," Jared said quietly. "Paul's just being an idiot again."

"Right," I said, staring at him for a moment before looking away.

No matter how much I knew it was probably true, I couldn't believe that Jared was just talking to me for sex. It couldn't be true. It felt like more than that. Maybe I was just being dreadfully naïve.

We rode in an awkward silence until we got to school and then we got there and once again, Jared ran round the car faster than I could even pick my bag up and undo my seatbelt. He must be such a fast runner.

I folded my arms, hugging myself against the cold wind. I hate the weather in La Push. You will not go a week where it doesn't rain. There will be about ten days of sun in the summer and in the winter it's so freezing. I don't know how the hell Jared can be in just a t-shirt. I'm wearing a top, sweater and coat and I'm still freezing.

However, Jared walked very close to me and, like yesterday, heat waves were rolling off of him. They made me worry about him, but I was kind of glad, he really did warm me up.

We went to lessons as normal and like yesterday, he'd walk me to class. Even after one day I was getting so accustomed to him being there all the time. I loved walking out of class to see him standing there, in all his gorgeous glory, making my stomach do flips and somersaults every time. I'm already getting better at talking to him more openly. Which is a lot for me, I have to say. I'm usually so awkward with talking to people I don't know that well, but with Jared I can already feel myself easing up.

"You're gonna come sit with me today, aren't you, Kim?" he asked as he leant against the locker next to mine as I put some of my things in there at the beginning of lunch.

I bit my lip and he groaned.

"What now?" he grumbled. "You don't have detention again, do you?" he asked, starting to grin at me.

I rolled my eyes and shook my head at him. "No. But I think my friends are starting to think I'm ditching them. I should probably go speak to them."

He gently frowned but nodded, staring at me with eyes that made me hate myself for turning him down.

He continued to stare into my eyes for a moment before brushing the back of his finger against my cheek. I stayed completely still, not even breathing. He dropped his hand and stood up straight.

"Fine, but I'm driving you home again and you don't have any choice in the matter," he said, smiling and crossing his arms as if to challenge me.

Yeah, because I'd really hate to spend time with you.

I have to try and hold myself back from breaking out into song and dance whenever he speaks to me, let alone asks me to spend time with him.

"Okay."

I try not to let him know how weird I am so I have to tone it down quite a lot when we're speaking.

"Good," he grinned and leant down and then kissed my cheek again before walking off into the cafeteria.

I buried my face in my locker so I wouldn't let out a squeal.

Once I remembered how to breath properly I walked through to the cafeteria and found where my friends were sitting. I sat down and they all looked at me.

"Where the hell have you been?" Aysel said and my cheeks flushed.

"Shut up," I mumbled.

Lucy giggled. "She's been with Ja-red."

"Shut up."

"What's this?" Cameron laughed, leaning in.

"Kim's in love with Jared."

"No I am not!" I shouted at them, but they weren't listening.

Luis, Dan and Oli just started laughing. They all laughed as they continued to make fun of me.

"It was one lift home!" I tried to convince them but they just ignored me.

"You straightened your hair today, didn't you?" Lucy said, laughing.

I groaned. This is the problem with school. When you see people every single day they notice everything.

"It looks stupid, doesn't it?"

So what if I made a little bit more effort this morning. It's not like I spent a whole hour trying to decide what to wear…

She rolled her eyes. "It looks fine. Your hair always looks fine."

I'm fed up of being 'fine'. I hate how I'm always either satisfactory or less. I'm never 'great' or 'amazing' or 'beautiful'.

"Can I borrow your notes for Maths? I need to copy them or else I'm gonna get killed by Mr. Meakin."

"Sure," I said to Oli, handing over my book. He grinned that mischievous look that he gets so I made a mental note to make sure he doesn't do anything later.

"Thank you," he continued to grin as he slid it into his bag. Oh dear.

"Do you need a lift tonight?" Aysel asked as she happily tucked into her sandwich.

"Erm, no thank you."

They all looked at me.

"What?" I asked, exasperated. It is not a big deal to get a lift with somebody else!

"Why are you suddenly so obsessed with Jared?" Lucy asked.

"I didn't even say I was getting a lift with Jared," I huffed, crossing my arms.

"Are you?"

I shifted. "I'm hardly obsessed."

They all either rolled there eyes, tutted, snorted or shook their head in despair. I don't get it!

"It is a bit sudden," Michele agreed, sharing that look with Lucy. The look that tells me they've talked about this before.

I shrugged my shoulders, pretending that wasn't the very thing that kept going through my mind. It was normal, though. I reasoned last night that it was completely and utterly normal. People start to form friendships with different people everyday! So what if the attraction I feel towards him is stronger than what I've ever felt in my life? It was probably normal, probably just a crush.

"We've been in the same class for years," I said.

"You know that's not what we meant," Lucy replied and I shrugged again.

"I dunno, I just –"

What was I supposed to say? I look into his eyes and get this feeling like I can't spend a moment away from him? That I'm supposed to run into his arms and stay there forever? That I've never felt this way about anyone in my life and we only really started talking yesterday?

It was insane. I knew I sounded insane.

This isn't normal. It can't be. This can't just be a crush.

"I don't get it either."

"Well, I wouldn't get too close. Apparently he's on drugs," Michele said seriously and Lucy nodded. Aysel met my eyes and pulled a face, trying to hold down her laughter.

"You two are so gullible to rumours. That's obviously not true," I told them.

"How would you know?" Lucy asked defensively. "You don't even know Jared. You've only been speaking to him for a day."

I don't know why that hurt, but it did.

"I dunno. I don't think he's like that – I don't believe all the crazy rumours going around about him. Even you have to admit some of them aren't exactly realistic."

I glanced over at Jared on the opposite side of the hall and he was looking directly at me. I quickly looked away but when I looked back he was still staring. He smiled before turning to Paul and saying something to him.

I looked back at my friends.

"Just be careful, Kim," Michele said softly. "I know you're clever, but…"

I shook my head at them. "I'm not exactly gonna start taking drugs, am I?" Out of all of our friends I was the least likely to get into that sort of stuff.

"That's not just what I meant either. Did you know that Sam they hang out with dumped his long-term girlfriend for her cousin? Ouch."

"He's just giving me lifts," I said quietly as they dissolved into another topic of conversation.

Although that turned out to be not quite true. Jared came into my house after he dropped me off. I couldn't face having to go so long without seeing him again and awkwardly blurted out the invitation. Luckily, he eagerly accepted.

Nobody was home, so it was fine. There were no excruciatingly awkward introductions – I made sure he was gone by the time my Mom, Jason and Scott returned. He didn't try anything… we just sat there and talked. Just talked. It was really nice. It was lovely. I don't believe he's just talking to me for sex.

Jared is so nice. He's so funny. And beautiful. God, is he beautiful.

Right, Diary, I'm going to bed. I need to get some sleep. I couldn't get any last night because all I could think about was Jared. Although there are some creepy howling going on in the woods lately, which is really freaking me out. Apparently there's been loads of animal attacks or something. It's all over the news. I doubt that will help me get any sleep. I hope I don't look shit tomorrow. Bags under eyes are so hard to hide when you're Quileute. There's not that much copper-coloured concealer out there.

Anyway; bed.

Sleep sleep sleep.

Not Jared Jared Jared.

He's so perfect.

He has the most heart-warming laugh. Did I mention that? It's so nice.

How am I meant to stop thinking about him?

Kim Conweller


Massive thanks again to everyone that's reading and reviewing, I really appreciate it! I love hearing any type of feedback, whether it's good or bad. I didn't plan to be posting so frequently, I was going to space them out, maybe one a week or something, but as I've already written some when I sign on to edit some, as I've made a few mistakes with the dates, I thought I might aswell do another check and post it up. Also, as I'm writing a couple of months into the future at the moment, it's getting a bit confusing having to go backwards and forwads. Plus, I am the biggest procrastinator in the world and I am currently supposed to be doing some very important things and I always end up posting on here whenever I procrastinate. It's usually making cups of teas and posting new stories. Anyway, I hope you're all enjoying this so far :)

Oh, and if anyone has noticed that the dates keep changing, that's because I had a bit of a blonde moment and set this at a date during summer 'vacation' (I'm slowly getting there with the American, but I'd still appreciate it if you want to point out little mistakes) and then wrote about them in school - woops! So that will be why, sorry for any confusion!

Lovably17 - for some reason it won't let me send you a message, so: thank you so much for both of your reviews! I'm really glad you like it so far :)