7A/N So I made this song fic because I couldn't think of anything for my other story, Out With The Old And In With The New. I think it is pretty decent, for being written at midnight on my IPod. Also, I am obsessed with this song right now, even though it's pretty old. You should definitely check it out (it's punk-rock). The music video is pretty funny :) This takes place after Zach asked Cammie to runaway with him. Enjoy!
I gave Cam one last kiss, and then I left, so that I could think to myself. I took a walk through town, and saw that someone was having a party. There was a song playing, called All to Myself, by Marianas Trench. How fitting for my situation.
Don't patronize
I realize I'm losing and this is my real life
Sucks to be me, doesn't it? The son of the woman who's after the girl you love. The kid, whose only fatherly figure is in a coma. The guy who can't even protect the one girl he has ever loved. Don't give me a lecture about how I work for the COC, and how evil they are. I am well aware of that fact. This is my life, whether I want it to be or not.
I'm half asleep and I am wide-awake
This habit is always so hard to break
I'm always somewhere on the border of consciousness when I'm asleep, and alert when I'm awake. It's not exactly like I have a choice. Well, it's either that, or being pulled into another trap.
I don't want to be the bad guy
Honestly, why would anyone want to be the bad guy? But I suppose, to be fair, they probably think that they are doing the right thing, even if the way they do it is wrong. So I suppose they're being lied to, but at the core of every good lie, is the truth. A lie is just a twisted version of the truth, after all.
I've been blaming myself and I think you know why
I think it's pretty obvious why I hate myself, and I know you know, Gallagher Girl.
I'm killing time,
And time's killing you, every way that I do
I try to keep myself busy, indulging in anything that can help me bring down the Circle. All the while, I am aware that every second that passes, is a second closer to you being taken away from me.
Did you say, please just follow me
You never actually said that you wanted me with you, but I could see it in your eyes. Even if you told me to stay away, I wouldn't be able to, no matter what you do.
I thought you wanted me
'Cause I want you all to myself
Why didn't you run away with me Cammie? I figured you would say no, but then you had something in your beautiful eyes, and I couldn't help, but feel a bit of hope slowly creep to the edge of my heart. You know why? Because I want you near me. For me to hold you tight, protect you from the world, and never let go, because you mean the world to me.
I can try and suck it up. I just can't suck it up
I tried to act like I knew what you would say before you even answered me, which, I guess I did. But even though it didn't show on my face, I couldn't help but feel disappointed.
Make me feel like someone else
You made me feel like I can let go of all my troubles, and just enjoy life, before all this COC crap started.
Please just follow me
I thought you wanted me
'Cause I want you all to myself
Please Gallagher Girl, why won't you come with me? I thought that you loved me! All I want is to feel you in my arms again, just you and me. We could have gotten off the grid, and stayed off.
I can try and suck it up. I just can't suck it up
Make me feel like someone else
Right now, I'm trying to come to terms with your decision, but it's hard. With you, I forget that I'm the son of a member of the world's most dangerous terrorist organization.
I'm under the gun feel like the only one
I'm always under watch, and I can't help but wonder what it would feel like to be normal. But then I wouldn't have met you, Gallagher Girl, and even if we had, it wouldn't have worked out. Not that it's so great at the moment.
I just can't decide what I'm running from
This isn't what I wanted but
What exactly am I running away from anyway? My mom? The COC? My past? Mr. Solomon? Gallagher? Blackthorne? The CIA? I don't know anymore. Maybe one of these. Could be all of them, and more!
I can't keep my filthy fucking mouth shut
I try. God knows I try, but sometimes, it just comes pouring out of me before I even realize what I'm doing. Who I'm betraying. The person I'm speaking to.
It's not enough; it's never enough
No matter what I do, it's never enough to keep you out of danger. I can't protect you, no matter how hard I try.
And I wish I could breathe without getting it stuck
Can't focus it but I try it over and over again
It's always so hard to focus, but I don't have a choice, so I try over and over again.
Did you say, please just follow me
I thought you wanted me
'Cause I want you all to myself
I asked you to come with me, because I thought you wanted me. All I need to do was see you, and know that you were alright.
I can try and suck it up. I just can't suck it up
Make me feel like someone else
All the things I do, are for your protection, Gallagher Girl. Sometimes they work, but other times, they don't, and all I can do is watch you get hurt all over again. But I can't stop trying to help you. You know why? Without you, I don't have anything worth living for anymore.
Please just follow me
Please Cam, I just need you with me, so I know you're alright.
I thought you wanted me
'Cause I want you all to myself
I thought you wanted me, 'cause I sure as hell need you.
I can try and suck it up. I just can't suck it up
Make me feel like someone else
You make me want to be a better person.
Please just follow me
I thought you wanted me
'Cause I want you all to myself
Gallagher Girl, just come with me. All we need is each other. We could have kept each other safe, so why won't you follow me?
I can try and suck it up. I just can't suck it up
Make me feel like
There are no words to describe how much you mean to me, Cam.
Did you say, please just follow me
I thought you wanted me
Because I can't stay with someone else
I asked you; because there is no one I'd rather be with than you.
I'll try and suck it up. I just keep fucking up
I just keep screwing up, so I never get there in time to do anything, except see you get hurt again and again.
I want you all to myself
I want you, and you know it.
Did you say, please just follow me
I thought you wanted me 'cause I want you all to myself
You know that I care about you Cammie, so why didn't you come with me? We could have gone into hiding together, since it seems that everyone is getting hurt, except for us. Both of us could have found our answers together.
I can try and suck it up. I just can't suck it up
Make me feel like someone else
I try to hide how I feel from the world, that is, until I met you, because there was nothing worthwhile in my life, until you came along. I hide behind my covers, because I'm afraid. I'm afraid of showing the world how I feel, but I just can't do it anymore, so I'll tell you now.
You were in the same spot I left you, except you were sitting down. I came out of the shadows, and said, "Hey Gallagher Girl."
"Blackthorne Boy."
"Awww, don't be like that Cammie."
"You know I'm not goi-" But I cut you off before you could finish, with another kiss.
"What was that for?" You replied when we had to come up for air.
"Because I love you Gallagher Girl."
"You know, I'm still not going to runaway with you, right?"
Did you like it? Review so that I'll know if it was goode enough for you ;)
ps. for the mmva's, will you pretty pretty pretty please vote for Marianas Trench, Good to You, for the most watch video? Or you could vote for anything else that they were nominated for, but you have to text for that, so, yeah. If they win anything, I will do a bonus chapter for my other story, from Zach's POV, the very next day! All you have to do, is go to the website, for the mmva's, and watch their music video. I will love you forever if you do.
pps. I finally figured out how to do that line separater thingy. I'm such a fail. .
ppps. Only one more defeat, until the Canucks devour the Sharks!
pppps. I am so pumped up for the game!