TWO - The Sorting Hat






Might I just take a moment to say –

Oh, no. Here we go.

I'VE GOT POTTER! I'VE GOT POTTER! Harry Potter's a Gryffindor!

Yes, yes. Congratulations, Minerva.

I knew I should have made a bet with you, Pomona!

Yes, well, you didn't, and I'm not stupid enough to make bets on something that already happened.

Oh, I wonder if he'll be as good as James at Quidditch!

I sincerely doubt one half decent player would be enough to help the Gryffindor Quidditch team, Minerva.

That's quite enough from you, Severus!

Contrary to everyone's belief, Potters are not godly figures and there is no need to worship them as such.

Yes, because I, of all people, put certain students on pedestals.

It's far too early in the year for you two to start going at each other's throats!

Filius, I think it's pointless to fight the fact that they'll be arguing continuously for the next seven years.

I hereby claim myself not a part to any of the coming arguments, then.


Severus can try to argue all he wants. We all know I usually win in the end.

Remind me, Minerva, as it has slipped my mind – What house has won the Cup six years in a row?

If someone else doesn't get it this year…

I think I'd prefer Severus getting it again to Minerva getting it now.

Pray tell, why, Filius?

Because you would not stop talking about it if you did!

I'd only rub it in Severus's face.

Let's leave this conversation behind and start the term on a good note, shall we?

I already have started it on a good note. And do you know why?

Because you've got Potter.

That's right! Harry Potter's a Gryffindor!

It's a pity the Weasley twins will be taking up so much of your time that you won't be able to pay any attention to Potter. I hold to what I said at the end of last term, I'm not even dealing with them anymore. I'll just send them straight to you.

Oh, don't do that! I've hardly got any time as it is.

Perhaps if you properly disciplined the brats they'd stop being such bothers.

I resent that, Snape! You know full well I've done everything I can without bothering poor Molly Weasley every other day with what nonsense they've gotten involved with.

I assure you a week's worth of detention with me would set them straight.

Then you give them the detentions and prove me wrong. Go on!

Argument, halt!

So help me, Severus, I will turn you into a slug by the end of the year if you keep purposely annoying me.

I see my requests are of no consequence to you…

If you had learned to check your temper, Minerva, I wouldn't be able to annoy you.

That's a bit unfair. She's much better than she used to be. You ought to have seen her in your school days!

I shudder at the thought.

Ha ha ha. So clever.

On a different note entirely, did Hagrid ever pitch in his bit to protecting you-know-what, Dumbledore?

Yes, he did. I wish anyone the best of luck attempting to get through it.

Don't tell me it's the Cerberus…

Why don't you go check?

I'll pass, thank you.

What'd he name that thing?


Hagrid would, wouldn't he?

No doubt he thinks the creature once thought to guard the gates to the underworld is quite cute and harmless.

If he thought it was harmless he wouldn't put it over the trapdoor, would he?

I think I'm off to bed. I'd recommend you all go to sleep soon, as well. First day of classes tomorrow!

Oh, goody.

Do I detect a hint of sarcasm, Pomona?

Me? Sarcastic? Whatever on this earth would make you think that I'm capable of sarcasm?

Let's not get started on that, shall we?

Author's Note

And thus we begin to get into the actual plot of the book...

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