"You boys'll just love what I have planned for you!" Professor Figglehorn grinned maniacally.

"I doubt that highly," James smirked. "Unless, that is, you're going to allow us to fling unicorn turds at students."

"Or," Scorpious added, "you're making us write home about what happened. Our parents will be so proud."

"You'll be sorting these," Figglehorn ignored the two and dropped a huge stack of papers with a bang on the desk before them, "into piles by house, then year, then alphabetized."


"Because, Potter, it'll help me to pass them back."

"But why?"

"Why pass them back? Because the students want to see their grade."


"So that they know if they failed or not."


"Their parents'll be very mad if they fail my class."

"But why do we have to sort them?" James asked, hiding his amusement behind a mask of confusion.

"BECAUSE I SAID! NOW SORT!" she shouted, last nerves frayed.

"Okay, okay. God, no need to yell," he muttered, and Scorpious snickered.

"Just get to your sorting," Figglehorn rolled her eyes and went to sit down at her desk to grade a few papers when something occurred to her. "And no talking, either of you."

"Professor?" Scorpious called an hour and a half later. "Is that a young adult vampire romance novel?"

"As a matter of fact, it is, Malfoy," the exhausted professor looked up from the beginning of Breaking Dawn.(A/N: Actually a pretty good book. I just didn't like the movies. And I like Harry Potter more.)

"OH! What's happing now?" James jumped up.

"Bella and Edward are on their honeymoon," she responded.

"OH! I knew they'd be together!" Figglehorn and James gave Scorpious a 'I-can't-believe-you-just-said-that' look.

"But what are they doing?" James pressured.

"How much do you hang out with your uncles, Potter?"

"Stop avoiding the question, Professor."

"Oh! Look at the time! You two need to be getting to bed! Goodnight!" she shoved them out the door. "That was one long detention," she sighed. "I am never giving them detention again. It just isn't worth it."

"Misson accomplished?" Scorpious quietly asked as they walked down the corridor.

"Yup. Good luck avoiding Filch," James stuffed the Marauder's map into his bag and pulled out an invisibility cloak.

"I thought Albus had the cloak and Lily had the map?"

"Borrowed the two from them, just in case Figglehorn kept us late. Have fun in another detention, Malfoy," he ducked beneath the cloak just as a beam of light from Filch's lantern rounded the corner.


Yes, I know it's been awhile, but I had to come up with ideas all alone because you guys didn't give me any ideas! If you want fast updates, I need ideas. And reviews. More reviews motivate me, even if they don't hold an idea. By the way, I don't own anything or anyone but Figglehorn.

PotterZombie: Ninja, you know she is. You should post your thingy. Why is your happy place artica?

Selenehekate & Smizzlemort: Thanks

CheyRainAwesomeness: I think we all had that type of argument at some point. Albus didn't seem like the fighting type to me, so I did James. Plus, I kind of forgot the age difference when I wrote this for school and just never changed it.

Lookouttroublesabout: I like your pen name. I will keep going, I think. But I need ideas. Definitely one after this with how the fight ends up, more if I get more ideas. Thanks!