(AN/ STORM SAYS:) I bring you a chapter very much based on the worst Mary Sue story I think I've ever come across. A literal gold mine to read about, I must say. She wasn't a Naruto self-insert Sue but a Hetalia self-insert. With my love for Hetalia compounding my desire to spit blood at the awfulness of this character, I HAD to read the story and was not disappointed. I also left the author a longass review full of concrit on her many mistakes, but she ignored it. My much shorter concrit on DA did get a response of "sorry you think she's a sue" and included a list of flaws that the character does have, including things like "she is naive to some things" and "has asparaguses."

Read and gimme aaalllllly your critique for this. I am eager for it.)

"Ahh I'm finally done" I had just finished my homework on the history of the far east. All those nights cramming in the information, answering the questions now I can finally relax and what better way to relax than watch my favourite anime series, Naruto. So far I have seen almost the whole series fillers and all and I am way into the Shippuden part now I was rewatching the sad parts like where ITachi pokes his brother's forehead for one last time aftera a long drawn out battle and then died right next to him. Then he comes back in edo tensei a while later and they have a pleasant goodbye.

Any way I look at the completed homework to see I didn't put my name, age and gender on it 'I'm such an idiot' I grab a blue pen and write "Tara-amethyst. Lavender. 16. Female" I grab my work and stuff it in my bag, then turn the TV on to watch the rest of Naruto. Now Gai Sensei and Kakashi were copying each other, shaking their booties and racing across Konoha. They flew over Shikamaru and chouji who had no idea what was going on and then jumped high above Konoha and fought with a ton of cooking utensils.

I started laughing so hard I fell of my couch when I got back up another episode of Naruto came onto TV. It was back to the Itachi and Sasuke fight now and I sighed 'a rerun' but when I see Sasuke talking about all he can see is itachi's end and I start crying "noooo! Why Itachi! Why did you have to lie to your brother like that when you could just tell him the truth! Sasuke wouldn't be so bad and hateful and you wouldn't die." I turn the TV off and go to my room and cry my eyes out in to my pillow 'I wish Naruto was real it's better than the life I have I could make friends with them and maybe, just maybe fall in love.' I sat up on my bed and wiped my face. I dried my brown eyes and noticed that my clothes were soaked in my tears 'oh, just freakin' great! Now I seriously have to wash my clothes because they have tear stains? My parents will never believe that!' I changed out of my small t-shirt and bike shorts and put on a violet colored dress with a white headband over the crown of my head. It was a favorite outfit of mine for spring and summer Then I hear a noise "heeheeeheehehee!" I walk out of my room and follow the weird giggling Maybe my weirdo relatives from Quebec are visiting. I soon found myself in the basement then I heard the giddy British voice said "do you wish Naruto was real? To change the fate of the cursed Uchiha brothers?" I cautiously answered "y-yes, I would like no love for Naruto to be real and yes, I want to change Itachi's fate. Can you help me please I'll do anything!" the giddy voice giggled again and said "okay, then so it shall be. Have fun and make sure to be careful. Ninjas live in a much more brutal world than this one, so it's quite dangerous. Be strong and don't let anyone know that you're from here." "Wait what do you mea-"I didn't get to finish my question because a bright blue light covered my whole body in a flash. I black out like I've been hit hard in the head. When I wake up I'm lying on a grassy area I sit up and look around and see that I'm downhill from a town that looks full of old, wood buildings instead of the regular skyscrapers and metallic apartment complexes I am used to. I stand up only to see I have smaller arms 'the hell!?' I look around and find a puddle I look into the puddle cautiously. I look in the puddle and see an eleven-year-old me complete with my shorter legs and shorter hair from when I was only an elementary school student I squeal and fall backwards 'what the hell is going on!?' I pace back and forth until I realize what happened 'that thing!

That thing sent me here and made me a four younger, it was total magic! 'Im here in this strange place but where the hell is here!?' I plop myself on the ground and start balling my eyes out. "Girl why are you crying?" a Japanese accent asked. I look up to meet a pair of dark black eyes that are a little bit sunken in with age. 'What, that's Sasuke and Uchiha's dad, Fugaku! That thing didn't just make Naruto real it sent me to Naruto I owe that thing big time! But now I gotta think up an explanation.' "I-I-I'm lost. Don't remember anything and I don't know where I am. Can you help me sir?" I stuttered. The Uchiha man closed his eyes and then sighed as he crossed his arms. "Fine, you will work for me at the Uchiha mansion here in town. Yu will meet my boys, Itachi he is a little older than you and he's already an ANBU operative. Sasuke is about two years younger than you and he's in the ninja academy now. You will be one of of the maids cooking and cleaning and in return I will give you shelter and food" He stated he motioned me to follow him hile we are walking I speak. "Tara-amethyst. Lavender." He looked at me "Pardon?" I look at him and say "My name is Tara-amethyst. Lavender."

He stooped to my level "my name is Uchiha Fugaku, you will address me as Fugaku-sama do you understand miss Lavender?" "Yes Fugaku-sama" I nodded and we started walking again. 20 minutes later we arrive at the big compound where the Uhihas live and his little kid Sasuke is eating lunch in the kitchen. I went over to him. "hi, my name is Tara, I'm here to make cleaning easier!" I hugged him and Sauske giggled and returned my hug. We let go of each other and I asked him "I have a question for you first, can I call you Sasu-chan?" he nodded. "great! Ill be seeing you later Sasu-chan, I've got cleaning to do, you have a big house and it probably needs ton of dusting and rearranging, ya know!" 2 months later later I finished everything the other maids had not done, I even organized miss Mikoto's geneology and history scrolls by alphabetical order. Now I decided to go stroll in the flower fields. I gathered white lilies and even some rare blue roses and put them in a bunch till they were neatly arranged as a flower bunch from the Yamanaka shop. The wind blew a calming breeze all around me. I just now realized my shoulder length black hair was now halfway down my back. My hair glided slightly on the wind and whips it to and fro. I hear a twig snap and turn around to see Itachi, the older son "Hello, Itachi. It's nice to meet you" I giggled at him and he smiled in a friendly manner. "H-hello. You must be Tara, father told me about you. I've been on a mission for a pretty long time so I just got home this morning." He said I walked to him "Hey, I think you should ask Sasuke a question. Ask Sasu-chan if he knows his family is planning to rebel." He looked shocked "What? Why would I ask my kid brother that? What are you even talking about?" Thinking quick I told him that his clan was natural powerful and didn't like authority, I often wondered if the Uchihas might try to attack Konoha someday. We talked about the horrors of these shinobi missions and how much suffering it would cause if that really happened but then… "I know that mission is coming very soon. Tara soon I'll have to kill everyone in this family. I need you to take care of Sasuke for me." He said I paled and then said. "no! Yo u can't! I know what will happen." I clasped my hands over my mouth and Itachi looked consumed. "What will happen? What do you mean?" I sighed since he had found me out. I said "I know the Third Hokage really IS worried that your family will rebel against Konoha and he already told you about a mission in which you have to kill everyone in your family. And you really go through with it, a kid who's barely fourteen has to murder his whole family. Everybody is killed and Sasuke is totally ruined as a human being, he hates you with every inch of his being and wants you dead and his whole life is about killing you, he spends his whole life in this endless cycle of hating the world" I look at him to see he is both pale and shocked.

I lean towards him only to lose my balance and fall into his lap. He snaps out of that shocked state of his and asks me "How can you possibly know that? The Lord Third didn't tell anyone of this mission but me. Or do you have a jutsu that can see into the future?" I answer him by saying "Uhh…yes it's a Kekkei Genkai I have, it's not in my own control but sometimes I just get visions of what will happen. It's complicated." He then made me sit beside himThen he said nervously, "Well I don't know why but, I choose to believe you. Hey I never asked, are you a shinobi or just a really knowledgable maid?" I laughed and joked, "Not unless eleven year old kids can be ninja." He looked at me with wide eyes "There is! Anyone who's at least eight can go to the ninja academy and when you graduate you will be a ninja!" I sighed in awe, thinking that I could actually be a ninja, me! I beamed at him, "Thanks for telling me that, I'm so glad I know it now. By the way, refuse the mission and just tell your family that their choice is to keep quiet or else they'll all die, that way your family can all live and Sasuke and you can grow up peacefully." He smiled and helps me stand up and we walk back to the mansion together.

We looked at a big portrait of the whole Uchiha clan together that was in one of the training dojos, it took up most of the wall and had a couple dozen people in it including Itachi and Sasuke. Fugaku came in and saw us looking at it. Itachi looked his father in the eye and said "Father, I need to tell you about my ANBU operations lately. The Lord Third is assigning me a murder mission to kill everyone in this family to make sure you don't rise up against Konoha. If you show so much as a hint that you'll really do that I will have to take out every single one of you. You know I can do it, so if you want the clan to live on, for the love of god, do not rebel, father. Let us all live peacefully." Fugaku-sama looked shocked he nearly fell on the ground, but he agreed to tell his clan members this scary truth, and put down any rebellions in their family council. Itachi thanked me for my advice, now he and his brother were saved and now none of the terrible things that I knew could happen ot these brothers wouldn't happen. We both found Sasuke who had just come home from ninja academy that day and wanted to practice shuriken throwing with his brother. We all went out together and did the practice, having tons of fun. Itachi loved praising his brother for working so really hard and Sasuke just loved to be around him. They were adorable brothers and i was so happy to know they wouldn't be fucked up. We became best friends and I started going to ninja academy, sometimes I saw Sasuke in the halls wit younger kids and waved to him, we were both making very good progress in school. That night I tucked in little Saus-chan and whispered 'sweet dreams Sasu-chan' then I fell asleep. 5 years later. "Well, time to go." I'm about to go on a mission.

In Naruto years I am now 16 once again and a chuunin. I still live with the Uchiha family. Sasuke is giving me a hug trying to be tough and act like he's not bothered that I have to go away for a long time. I hug his brother who is a top jonin right now and hug everyone one last time. 'Don't worry, I will see you all again one day, it's just one year it's not like will all be wrinkled old grandparents by the time I get back so don't worry!" I reassured them and then with my long silver civilian dress, a deep blue cloak and a sack of food and a water canteen I went off on my journey. 1 week later I had reached the border to the land of stone and I wanrde around try looking for a wanted sign because I am out of provisions and also flat broke. After wandering ailessly I bump into someone a nd they shout "Watch where youre going you stupid baka, un!" I apologized as I look up. "Sorry Deidara" "Hey how do you know my name, short baka girl?"He replied. 'crap! Think think, think! God it!' 'I'm from Konoha and I've seen your name in the bingo book tons of times.' He groaned. 'Ahh, stupid Koonha.' I told him my situation and he said "Come, I wil ltak yo u to my danna, Saosir."

I thanked him as we walked and told him who I was and some stuff about myself and in return he stubbornly gave me some info, too. After a little bit we were at where Sasori and Deidara were staying in this Land of Stone town and Sasori opened the door when Deidara knocked and nsays "deidara where did you go this morning? Left to buy some horseshit clay or something?' I stepped him and said "Ecuse me sir, he was with me." Sasori stopped glaring at his partner and looked at me instead and said more calmly, "Ah. Let the young lady in deidara get out of her way." He invited me in. "You may stay as long as you like." I told him I only needed a supply of food to get me to the other side of the country, I was going to the Land of Oaks to build a clinic for needy sick people." Sasori and Deidararu talked to me for hours and hours, we had great conversations and in-jokes. However eventualy I had to get back to my duties I was a shinoib after all. 5 days after that I manage to read the border of the very small but beautiful Land of Oaks, which was very lush and green and naturally famous for beautiful oak trees and gorgeous displays of falling leaves in the fall, it was easily one of the more beautiful and rich nations despite its small size and small military. The locals knew I was coming and greeted me, they had already started construction on the clinic building but I took over once I got there. I used Wood Style jutsu so craft perfect and strong logs for the building support, walls and roof. Some cute contractors and smiths designed nice glass windows and front doors and many of the young ladies were happy to help me decide on the interior decorating. We went with a theme of green and white, my favorite colors and also those of the Land of Oaks flag. One day after that I was seeing patients and helping to deal with the sickness that seemed to go around this land a lot.

14 months later, it seemed my missioin had been extended since in my absence, the Fifth Hokage told me the Land of Oaks depended on me so I was gonna be here a pretty long time but whatever. I was the prime doctor in this town the main sickness was gone from the population and with all the extra health y people we were able to build up the militia of the small towns and the military of the whole land, I was head of th e local militia and Head Town Councilwoman and lived in a house by the clinic that was surrounded by plantlife, I also had built a small shelter in my backyard for local deer to rest in when winter winds got too severe. This was th e life for sure. One small problem, though, a couple times I'd had some bad dreams where a girl my age would look at me and say 'will you be my friend?" she looked a lot like me except her hair was blonde instead of black and she had red eyes not blue she said her name was Kara, or Death.

One morning I woke up after hearing her talk to me some more and I stared at my wall thinking 'what the hell just happened." Time skip to one month later. "Everyone stay on the move! Get on the boats! Women nd children must go first!" I'm yelling orders to save the people to get on boats to the Land of Stone. The Land of Oaks, my nation, is under attack. Firebombs are everywhere and much of the houses and buildings are falling apart while people screamm and run for cover; I have to get everyone on my boat. One boat was left and there was room for just two more people when I hear a faint cry for help.

I run back to the village and under a pile of wood and flaems I can see a grown woman trapped under rubble, her baby is free but is crying and doesn't know what to do so I help them and used all my strength and chakra to push the pile up with the flames licking at me and wood cutting my hands open. The woman crawled out and I put her baby back into her weak arms and guided her to the boats where her husband and parents cuddled her. I cut the ropes on all of the boats so they could float away from all the danger, when everyone was out of reach they noticed I was still on the dock and started crying and screaming out to me but I turned by back on them and ran back into the burning village. When I got there I dropped to my knees at the site of all these dead people and animals and burned trees with everything hurt or in ruins I cried for the first time since I had come to this Naruto world, I cried to the sky letting it know my pain. These were the animals and people I hadcome to know best and they loved me and depended on me. I hear a faint cry and listened to it 'what are there some animals still alive?!' I smiled at that thought and ran towards that noise and it got louder and loder. I kept running even though I am losing energy because of having spent so much chakra moving people around and blocking missiles and bombs with shields. Now I was at the place the noise came from and I wasn't so happy to see what was in front of me.

There were two dead animals on the ground and others looking at the dead ones, two young and barely fledged crane hatchlings and two wolf pups, the cranes were one fully white with just black markings around its eyes, and the other had regular crane coloring with partial black wings and the rest of it being white. The first wolf baby was all black with emerald eyes and the other was plain brown but had a white marking on its forehead in the shape of a crescent moon. They were staring at the dead animals, a fallen crane and a wolf mother, these must be their mothers. I called to them saying "hey, come here, it's going to be okay.' They turned to me and the black boy wolf pup wolf language "how is everything going te be okay, our mother is dead! What will we do?' I kneeled down and touched his head and his sister's head. "Don't worry I will take care of you, I'm a trained shinobi and I've saved many people before, now I will save you. I'll figure out something, I promise." Since I had trained myself to know the tongue of animals, they understood my speech and nodded at me.

2 days after that, I am setting traps for invaders to make sure any stragglers get killed for daring to come in here, when I see my young cranes flying towards me. "Tara! Tara! An intruder is at the gates and he has a big sword!" I stpped what I was doing and grabbed a bow and arrow and a knife that could slice the guts out of that fucker when I found him. 20 inutes later, I have found the intruder, he is wearing all black, trying to hide in the dark of the night but he won't get past me. I yell "halt! Intruder!" I come out from the tree and attack him. I flung his weapon away but he punches me in the jaw, but I am not fazed. I punch him right back and pin him to the ground with my knife at his throat. "What are you doing here?" He froze. "I'm here looking for survivors! I'm an agent from the Land of Stone!" And I froze. "D-Deidara? Is it really you?" I stuttered as I got up and let him stand. He sad "How do you know my name, hunter?" To answer I pulled back the hood of the black hoodie I was wearing, and his one blue eye went wide. "Tara? Oh my god, I can't believe it." I run to him, hugging him and he returns by hugging me back. He looks down at me in my worn out hoodie and my knife, hair tied back like some jungle woman. "Tara, oh God I'm so sorry for punching you out like that, un" he said as he caressed my face. There was some blood there and he grimaced when he saw it. "Don't worry Deidara, I dealt with worse a few days ago when the invasion happened"

Suddenly there was a grown behind both of us and I turned and see Keela (all-white crane) Isis (regular colored crane) Nomura (black boy wolf) and Lunara (brown girl wolf) all approaching us looking aggressively at Deidara. He gasps and gets his explosive clay ready. I stood in front of him to protect him. "Keela! Isis! Nomura! Lunara! Stop! This is a friend of mine, I mistook him for an attacker! He's a friendly shinobi!" They all stopped and ran to me so I could hug them. "Tara, what's happened here in the Land of Oaks? We're trying to figure out what's going on and I didn't even know if you were alive." I sighed and said "I really don't know deidara all I did is take my people to safety they are in refuges shelters in your land now." "Well, come with me. In the capital there's a summit going on tonight about this incident, you should make yourself known there and maybe we'll figure some things out un" I sigh and agree with him, and in minutes we are on one of his famous clay eagles, with Isis and Keela following us in the air and Nomura and Lunara riding on the bird w ith us. 2 hours later we arrive at the capital of te Land of Stone where Deidara lives and we enter the community building. The large mahogany doors open and the first thing I see is Sasuke fighting with Naruto. I look around and see Gaara who is the fifth Kazekage talking with his siblings and with the Mizukage May Terumi. I walk behind Gaara and tapped him on the shoulder he turned around and I see one of the smiles that he reserves just for me "Tara is it really you? You're alive?" And he laughs his small laugh and hugs me. Then Naruto finally sees me and screams "TARAA! YOU'RE OOKKK!" and he runs over and joins the hug and im almost in tears from being so happy to see all my friends again, iis been two years since I saw any of them.

Sasuke pulled me off him so he could have a chance to see me too and I was so happy to see him. "Tara…what happened ot your face? Are you hurt? Fuck, someone get a medic nin for Tara right now." I looked up and noticed the whole big room had fallen silent and I was about to say something when Deidara said "It's my fault…I thought she was one of the invaders to the country so I punched her and tried to take her out. Thankfully she noticed it was me when she had me pinned down and we told each other who we were to avoid an accidentall conflict. "Well I only tracked him down because my birds and pups were frightened of him." Keela, Isis, Nomura and Lunara came rushing in behind me after watching me and all these strangers nervously, and they all sat beside me. I removed my hoodie and looked serious now. "Now let's get right to the point of this summit shall we, I want answers, who attacked my home nation of the Land of Oaks? And for what reason?" I asked everyone in the room. Tsunade stepped forward. "It was me." I asked "why?" She sat down again and crossed her arms. "Your nation is in a strategic economic position for trading with its many seaports. Weak with a tiny military and no defenses, perfect place to set up a new colony and send in some Land of Fire natives to populate it" Keela, Isis, Nomura and Lunara all started growling at her and stalking towards her "'call off your filthy animals!" Tsunade commanded 'filthy?' I thought with a simmerin rage. "How dare you call the only Land of Oak animals left alive flthy? Call off the armies or I will!" I yelled and she seemed taken aback. Sakura was beside her and was in tears but Tsunades face remained stern "Once war is declared, I cant just call it off, your nation is weak and so we invade." "Weak, huh…" I said softly and then slammed my fist onto the table cracking it. "DO I LOOK WEAK TO YOU, BITCH! You want a war, I'll give you a fucking war like the worlds never seen before! Even if I have to take on all your shinobi by myself if I have to!" I yelled everyone looked shocked and I had tears welling in my eyes as I pulled my hand off the cracked table. "T-Tara-chan wht happened to you in that battle? You used to be so peaceful…" I turned to Naruto and said "Naruto, after what I've endured I'm surprised that I'm still alive and still sane." "Fine I will call off my troops it appears you are strong after all, I apologize." Tsunade conceded as she left the room "Thank you, Tsunade-sama" I whispered but someone tapped my shoulder and I saw it was Itachi "Hello, love. It's good to see you alive and well." He smiled I hugged him and he stroked y hair knowing I wanted to cry. "Meeting's over, everyone get the hell out and go home!" Kiba yelled, trying to help me. I couldn't hold it in any more and cried hard into Itachi's shoulder, gripping his cloak as he held my head close to him. I sniffed one last time and pulled back, "thanks Itachi, I really needed that."

"Hey how about some love for the hero of Konoha!" Naruto yelled. I turned around to see Naruto and he looks a little older than the last time we were in konoha together. I hugged him laughing and he picked me up like I weighed noting. "Tara we want to protect you so I request that you join the Shinobi Alliance." I turn my head to see Gaara. I considerd what he was saying usually I am strong enough to protect my nation on my own but this time definitely proved me wrong. Should I remain on my own or join the other shinobi? All my friends were looking at me hoping I would say yes and that's what I decided "Okay I will join the shinobi alliance." "Great!" Naruto said jumping up and down. He and Kiba and Sakura and Temari were cheering and the Uchiha brothes were smiling. 'oh boy, what next!'

To be continued.

(AN: STORM SAYS) In the story I got the inspiration form, there is absolutely no spacing. Every chapter is written with the same capitalization inconsistency and thoughtless nonsense, and every chapter is one Russia-sized paragraph. I chose to not include this in my own writing since I did actually want you to be able to read this thing.

This took a while to purposefully make these rambling, half-contructed thoughts and drop periods and commans behind me like handfuls of bread crumbs, but I had suuuuch fun with it. "Saosir" is my favorite bit of this chapter; I wrote that sentence in the middle of the sneeze and thought it was too perfect not to keep.

Also, I'm considering changing my penname to "StormingDragon" after 8+ years of using this one. I tired of always having the slight tinge of embarrassment of carrying around a "666" attachment in my name just because my twelve-year-old self thought it was such cool, intimidating shit when I first came on here. If you are have an opinion on this, there's a poll on my profile you can check out, yo.)