Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. I don't own Harry Potter. I don't own anything, actually. Why do you think I have to keep borrowing money from my mom? Because I have no money, thus I don't own anything.
Getting their unconscious selves stuck in the middle of some dark, eerie forest in some unidentifiable place, with absolutely no ability to use their chakra, had been a major mistake that would go down in ninja history as one of the biggest fails to have ever occurred on a mission.
"Ugh…Where…where are we?" groaned Ino, struggling to push herself up on her elbows. She glanced around, taking the time to survey her surroundings. Somehow, in the period that she'd been unconscious, she'd wound up in the middle of some creepy forest…which didn't make sense seeing as, last thing she could remember, she and her temporary teammates had just been defeated by some crazy S-class missing nin. Most importantly, though, they'd been in the middle of a desert! NOT a forest!
"In a forest, Ino," came Neji's dry reply from somewhere behind her. Ino's face contorted with rage.
"I know that, Neji!" she snarled, rolling over to glare at the prodigy. She was met with a glare of matching intensity. Of course, as both were incredibly stubborn shinobi, they had to turn the whole thing into a glaring competition. Ino could've sworn she was going to win…
…that is until Kiba just had to distract her with his moaning as he woke up.
"Dammit!" she roared, whipping her head around quickly to glare at the cause of her loss. "What the hell, Kiba? And stop smirking, you bastard!" That was aimed at the Hyuga whose mouth was threatening to twitch into an arrogant little smirk.
"What smirk?" he asked innocently. Before Ino could form an undoubtedly offensive reply, Kiba cut in.
"Oi! All of you shut up!" Heads turned to stare blankly at the dog lover who was looking around frantically in search of something, threatening to have a mental breakdown. "Where's Akamura?"
"…really Kiba, you're worried about your dog?" Ino deadpanned. Kiba shot her a 'don't-fuck-with-me' look.
"More importantly," Neji cut in before they could start arguing again, tone returning to his usual impassive seriousness, "Where are we?"
Neither of his squad members had an answer.
After a few minutes, Ino started up again. "Last I remember…like, we were fighting those nin, right? In the Sand…and then…like…I don't remember…" she trailed off, before her eyes widened with dread. "Shit! Oh god-Neji! Your arm!"
Neji glanced to his arm, which should have been so badly torn up that it looked like it had been caught under and crushed by a heavy object. However, it looked absolutely fine.
"I know. Its fine." he responded, holding it up, stretching it, flexing his fingers in demonstration.
"That doesn't make sense." muttered Kiba, staring stupidly at the arm. "This whole damn thing doesn't make sense! How the hell did we get here?"
"More like how did we get here perfectly fine..." Ino murmured, studying herself. They should've been covered in cuts and bruises, streaked with wet sand and blood. But instead, they were unscathed and totally clean, like the fight had never happened.
It was quiet again, each of the three mulling it all over. Neji, the team's leader, finally broke the silence.
"First off, let's get out of this damn forest."
What seemed like an eternity later, the three staggered out of the forest, weary (being tired from the fight earlier certainly didn't help) and nicely scratched up from the snagging thorns in the thick foliage. By then it was nightfall, and they were all also very grateful that they'd gotten out of the forest. There was something exceedingly…well…unnaturally peculiar about that forest that even scared the fearless Hyuga.
"Thank Kami that's over…" panted Kiba with a drained grin.
"Amen to that." grunted Ino, doubling over and breathing heavily. Neji rolled his eyes. Sure, he was tired too, but Gai had never been a merciful teacher when it came to training. "Y'know I blame you, Neji. Bastard…you suck at leading missions." Neji just glared.
After a short break, they'd all managed to catch their breath, and returned to their instinctive "ninja-mode" and were surveying their surroundings. It was pitch-black outside, but the sky was clear, and the stars shone radiantly, the moon a luminescent orb hanging against the ebony backdrop that was the sky. However, it seemed like they were in the middle of nowhere-other than the sky and the forest, there was nothing.
"Well fuck." Kiba ground out. Ino made a noise of agreement from behind him. Although it wasn't like he'd been expecting anything…
Neji sighed, rubbing his temples. 'Well fuck' was right. Either stop and rest here, by the unnerving and most likely deadly forest, where something would probably pop out of and kill them while they had no way to defend themselves, OR keep on going and die of exhaustion.
"Alright let's keep go-"
"Wait!" cut in Kiba, flinging out a hand to slap over Neji's mouth, staring out into the distance.
"What?" asked a confused Ino with a frown.
"Is that…smoke?" questioned Neji, squinting into the distance. Indeed it was. Over a little hill in the distance, a thin trail of silvery smoke snaked up through the sky. How had he missed that?
"Smoke…A house?" murmured Ino; she was surprised that anyone would actually want to live in the middle of nowhere next to the creepy-ass forest. "Seriously?"
"Perhaps," replied Neji, "but we should be careful. We don't know what kind of people they may be-for all we know, they could be Akatsu-"
"Let's go!" Kiba shouted in a Naruto-esque fashion, leaping up and throwing a fist in the air before racing off in the direction of the forest, throwing caution to the wind.
"DAMMIT KIBA!" screamed Ino as she flew off after the runaway dog lover. Neji dropped his head into the open palm of his hand. Idiots, he thought. They were just as bad as Team Gai-okay, not quite as bad, but almost. With a sigh, he went after them. So help us Kami if there are any dangerous criminals in the area…
By the time the Hyuga had caught up with the two more exuberant members of his squad, they were stopped at the top of the hill, staring in shock at something in the distance.
"What are you staring at?" grumbled the Hyuga, a little more than slightly peeved that the others had disobeyed their damn leader and made him chase after them. Sighing when no one answered him, he turned his head to look. His jaw nearly dropped to the floor at the sight before him.
For before them, behind the little hut that was spewing the smoke they'd seen, in all its glory, was a grand, majestic castle, glowing bright against the night what with all the light shining from within.
"How the hell did we miss that?"
"Maybe the same way we missed everything else, bastard Hyuga." snapped Ino. Her eyes were wide as she stared at the castle, unblinking and stunned. "So…should we go to the hut…or the castle?"
"Castle." Neji answered automatically. "They'd probably have better answers to our predicament."
Kiba nodded slowly. "Yeah…d'ya guys hear that?"
Blank stares. "…what?"
"Y'know, that…the footsteps!"
"What do you mea-" before Neji could continue, he was cut off by a deafening roar of 'What're you lot doin' 'ere?' from directly behind them. Seriously, they were missing so much today…
As though they were in a horror movie, everyone slowly turned around.
"Well, holy shit."
"I blame you Neji."
For standing behind them was the biggest man they'd ever encountered.
As it turned out, after a little explanation via Neji, the (half) giant named Hagrid was an incredibly nice guy.
Much nicer than half the men in Konoha, Ino thought. Although his cooking sucks. That much was certain as she stared in barely contained horror at the food he'd given them when he'd let them come into his hut to explain what was going on. The cake things looked like rocks. Ino was scared to touch them; she really did like her teeth the way they were…
Beside her, Kiba was having similar thoughts. The only one being serious was Neji (although he was also wary of the rock cakes)-but then again wasn't that always the case?
"So what yer saying, is that you're from some place called "Ko-ho-na"," Hagrid said, carefully sounding out 'Kohona', "An' that you all somehow managed to wind up 'ere after a fight, right?"
Neji nodded. "We're not quite sure how, though. I suspect that it was a form of the enemy's jutsu-perhaps something like the 'space-time ninjutsu'-however, that seems unlikely seeing as none of them utilized techniques similar to any such thing as the ability to teleport us to a different…dimension, I suppose."
Hagrid stared, confused. He had no idea what this 'jutsu' stuff was. "Right…well, why don't I take you to Professor Dumbledore? I think he 'ought be able to answer yer questions."
"Professor Dumbledore?" asked Ino. "Who's he?"
"Only the greatest wizard in the world!" beamed Hagrid. Clearly he deeply admired this 'Dumbledore' man. "Smart man he is, and the headmaster of our great school!"
"O' course. That castle up there is Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry." he responded, halfway out the door. "Now hurry up, don't want to keep anyone up to late…"
"Well fuck," muttered Kiba. "What the hell did we get ourselves into?"
"I dunno," replied Ino, the two of them following behind Neji and Hagrid. "But whatever; just blame Neji. It's what I've been doing."
Sorry if the characters are OOC or something. And I know that this is a horribly overdone plot. I KNOW IT IS. And yet somehow, it managed to suck me in, too. Right so R&R, right? Yeah I dunno…