Hatred in your eyes

Damon's POV

I snapped she just repeated the very words her ancestor Katherine did. But it wasn't until I heard Elena's cries for her brother that I knew I had done something. Oh God! I killed Jeremy! He's not wearing his ring...shit! I'm going to lose her, not now, not after everything thats happened I can't. Isobel was right in that moment with Elena crying out for her brother while his body cooled I realised...I love Elena.

I looked to her but she glared stakes at me. I shudder at the emptyness in her eye's they used to be full of life and love and now because of me they are bottemless. She doesn't bother standing up but her voice quivers as she tries to put enough strength in her voice to make me listen and I know that there is nothing I can do to make up for it now. "Get out!" she says slowly with venom dripping from those two words. "Elena..." she cuts me off "NO! I don't care what you have to say! Get the fuck out of my house! Don't ever come near me again!" she yells her rage is not what I wanted. I can't believe I've ruined this but I can't live without her now. "Elena I'm sorry, I didn't mean too...I love you" i whispered the last part but I know she heard me.

Elena stood up...this is not a good sign but I can't blame her. "Your sorry? Sorry! I'm sorry for ever thinking there was anything worth saving about you! You're a monster and I hate you! You don't know the meaning of love! You just killed the last person on this earth that is my family! How dare you have the audacity to say you didn't mean to! He was my brother! If you knew what love was you couldn't have done that to me. I don't want your apoligies. Now for the final time. Get. The. Fuck. Out. Of. My. House. Don't come back I never want to see you again" she finished turning away and going back to her brother. I looked at her for a moment then left. Her words kept replaying over and over again each one felt like a wooden bullet. She hates me. It's over. I go back to the house after 5 hours of walking around with a bottle of the strongest bourbon I could find. The house wasn't silent but there were no humans here. Thank God I didn't need to feel more guilt it was already beating me down. Stefan came zooming at me as soon as I walked through the door. Ah Stefan my baby brother the reason my existence sucks..."Damon how could you?" he yelled at me obviously not aware that I was in no mood to be yelled at by my saint of a brother. "I thought you'd be with Elena" I said slurring trying to sound casual and mask the guilt and pain. It worked. "Elena broke up with me. She wants nothing more to do with either of us" he said sadly and I felt almost bad for him except I was already dealing with the pain of losing her. "Stef I'm only going to say this once because it will never happen again. I'm sorry I was holding on the edge with my fingertips when I spoke to the Bitch but Elena pryed me off and I snapped" I looked at him with intesity in my eyes trying to convey that I was telling the truth. He let go and nodded slightly before rushing to his room.

A few days later

I watched the ceremony from afar it was like reliving that night all over again Jenna was getting comfort from Rick and putting on a brave face for the sobbing Elena but I couldn't help but notice no-one was comforting the girl that had lost the most. It was a sad sight. I got back to the boarding house and I assumed we were leaving because there was a bag in the hall and if Stefan's going and Elena hates me what is there to live for? "Are we leaving little bro?" I asked him snarkily he glanced up at me sadly. "Elena's leaving and I'm going to go to England and try to control my cravings" as soon as I heard Elena was leaving I had already made up my mind I would write a letter to Elena hoping she'll read it then leave but stay close to her always. Until the day she forgives me or her heart stops beating. I will love her forever. When that happens I'm going to slip of my ring and die in the very spot her brother did it's poetic especially as my heart is already there waiting for the day I rejoin it and put a stake through my undeserving heart. She was right. I'm a monster. I killed her brother and I killed her on the inside. I hope she has an amazing life I will protect her always but until she gives me a chance I will abide by her wishes and stay away even if it kills me...