Chapter one- attack of the midgets!

Disclaimer-ok look, I'm only fucking gonna put this on the first chapter, because this is a damn FANFICTION WEBSITE! Why the hell would original people or the owners post their own fucking stories here? So yea, I don't own shit, never have, and probably never fucking will. Back off heathens! So Nya mother fuckers!

Pain. That was the first thing he registered. Next came the darkness. Did he even have eyes? Or was there just nothing to see? Who was he anyway?

'Hidan' So that was his name! 'I am disappointed, my Hidan. You were beaten by the heathenous brats.'

"Pl-" His voice cut off with a choke. His throat was completely dry, so he just thought his words as the voice did. 'My Lord, please forgive me. I wish I had fought harder against those lazy atheist ass holes. I wish I had fulfilled what you wished of me. I wish I had—'

'No.' the voice, Lord Jashin, fought back sharply. 'You are my shining star, my most faithful follower, and you did all you could. Even the immortal must be mortal sometimes. No one I have ever seen disgrace or bless my earth can be perfect. Not even me, child.'

'NO!' Hidan protested loudly. 'You, Lord, are perfect! In every way, in every possible fucking way, my Lord and Father you are perfect! Please do not disgrace yourself that way, Lord.'

'Oh my child, how you have grown. I have seen you fall great nations in your years, even as a young child. Now I ask you, are you ready?'

Hidan was silent for a moment. 'Ready, Lord? Ready for what exactly?'

'Another chance. I am willing to give you another chance, but you must be prepared. The world out there is not as you left it. It has been torn more, destroyed, ruined. Will you fix it?'

Again Hidan was silent. This was the only chance he was going to get, and he knew it. So if he took it, he would be allowed to live, to work, to move above the ground again. He would breathe! Without anymore hesitation, he spoke- well more thought- to Jashin. 'Yes, Lord, I will. I swear by my immortal heart, I swear by my love for you.'

'So be It, child.' And then Hidan passed out.

When he awoke, the first thing he saw were two little green eyes staring down at him. A little girl was sitting on his chest, poking his face with a small stick. "Hey, mister, you dead?" she asked. She jabbed his face again.

"Dammit, kid quit that shit!" he yelled. The little girl just giggled and poked him again. Hidan let out a roar of anger and reached for the kid, but she danced out of the way before he could grab her. Hidan jumped up to run after the little black haired girl, but froze when he saw his surroundings. He was in an alley, and as he stepped out he saw a market place looked over by a huge stone carving on the side of the mountain. He knew from stories that that was the memorial of the hokage past- except there was 3 more added from before.

Hidan was speechless. He was in the village of the kyuubi container, but there was no way the idiot blond kid was still alive. He wondered if the Akatsuki had managed to obtain all 9 bijuu, though he was doubtful. Hidan remembered what Lord Jashin had told him- the world had changed and fallen to ruin. Looking around at the thriving, normal village life, Hidan scoffed. The village here at least looked fine! No ruin here.

'Oh but there is, my child. This village just puts up a front of normalcy, as do the rest. They do not wish to appear weak in these troubling times.'

'Yes, Lord. I apologize for doubting you.'

Hidan decided to look around some more and see for himself the havoc this world was reduced to. The annoying little blackette decided to return at that time, and Hidan growled slightly at the sight of her. He looked back in the alley where he had lain, and saw his scythe and pike laying on the ground. He ran to them, attaching the three bladed scythe to his arm like before, and putting his pike in his belt. The girl watched him with too-intelligent green eyes.

"What do you want, midget?" he hissed.

"What's your name? Do you have any pets? Why do you have a big sword-pointy-thing? Can I poke it? Why is your hair gray? Are you old?" The child let out her questions at a million miles an hour, in a voice that to anyone else would have been adorable and endearing, pissing Hidan off to the point of snapping.

"Look, kid, my name is Hidan and I hate animal. I hate little kids more. This scythe would cut your fucking hand off before you could even try to poke it, I am old but my hair has always been silver- not fucking gray. Now why were you poking me and where the hell is your parents?" Hidan was out of breath by the end of his rant-turned-quiz. The girl grinned at her new game.

"Well hiya, my name is Miyuna and I like your hair! My mommy killed my daddy and then she hit me and stuff. So I killed her!" The small child was practically beaming at her accomplishment, though Hidan was frustrated. He now knew he couldn't send her home to get rid of her, and so she would follow him around until he killed her. Then she spoke again. "I hope we can be friends! Everyone else doesn't wanna be around me because the other mommies and daddies say they can't. So I was hopin' you could be my friend!"

Hidan froze up. He didn't really know what to say to that. He was going to turn her down and tell her to disappear, until Jashin's voice dominated his head. 'Of course you will befriend her! Perhaps convert her too? 'He hinted. Hidan scoffed for the second time that day and reached back to be sure his precious scythe was still there. Of course it was, so he built up his courage and smiled (a forced, painful looking smile, but a smile none the less.) "Sure, Miyuna-chan! I'd love to be your friend! But you gotta do one little thing for me." Miyuna's face fell slightly.

"What do I have ta do?"

"Well I'm a follower of this religion called Jashinism, and my god is really nice and wants to meet you! Isn't that cool! So if you convert, and swear to follow Jashin and bleed for him every day, you can meet him and maybe become immortal like me!" Hidan put as much enthusiasm into the words as he could possibly muster, but it was having issues talking about his beloved God to a child who could not be any older than 6. Speaking of age- "Say, Miyuna-chan, how old are you?" She giggled cutely.

"Well mommy killed daddy at my last birthday which was last winter… I think I'm five. And my birthday is in the winter!" Hidan sighed. Well he had been close, right? He felt a small body hug his leg. "I wanna meet Jashin-sama, he sounds really cool! Will I get a weapon like yours?"

Hidan looked down at the little girl hugging his leg, wearing rags and matted hair, and couldn't say no. "Only if you're real good for me, ok?" Miyuna nodded enthusiastically.

The night was drawing in quickly, and the streets were nearly empty. Hidan had ditched his worn out cloak and actually put on a shirt, so he wouldn't get quite so many stares as usual. Of course, they were still there, because seeing an albino man wasn't very common, but they didn't run in fear or shun him away. Miyuna had shown him the whole town, including the box where she slept and the two kittens she had found a few days before. Hidan had laughed at the small neko, who climbed over each other and scrambled to meet the newcomer. Hidan loved cats, if only for the fact that they were the only animals who didn't hate him on sight. Miyuna happily let him pick one, so he chose the littler black cat who seemed to get beaten up by the larger kit. He had commented dryly "I don't fucking like bullies." and hugged his koneko close. Miyuna kept the larger one for herself, and as her and Hidan sat next to her box-home they talked about Jashinism and what was going to happen to Hidan. He told her his story, editing out what he didn't deem appropriate for a five-year-old. He may not like kids, but the man didn't want her crying to him about nightmares if he could help it. Crying was annoying.

He wondered where they were going to sleep. Hidan knew he had some money with him, probably courtesy of Jashin, so he took Miyuna by the hand and began walking to the town.

"Mr. Hidan! We can't go into town at night!" she cried out. Hidan stopped and crouched down in front of her.

"And why not, miyu?"

"Well, that's when the mean men come out. Mommy warned me about them once; she said they hurt little girls like me." Miyuna looked terrified, so Hidan held her hands tight in his.

"Miyu, it's either stay here and sleep in your box, or come with me and get to sleep on a bed and convert to Jashinism." Miyuna's eyes lit up at the mention of her newfound religion. She nodded and walked with Hidan, hand in hand, to the nearby inn. It wasn't a shabby looking place, so Hidan hoped they would have a shower and clean beds. He checked them in, grabbed the room key, and led a sleepy Miyuna up the stairs. Halfway up, the sleepy child looked like she was about to fall over, so Hidan poked her a little.

"Miyuna, what the hell's wrong with you?" he asked in a Hidan form of concern.

"I'm just-"she yawned- "real sleepy. How much more stairs?" she asked in a child-about-to-pass-out voice.

"I have no idea, kid. Oh, wait, here we are." Hidan opened the door with the key and ushered a stumbling child inside. He saw the two beds and small couch, and smiled as Miyuna fell onto the latter. She didn't get up again. 'Alright, kid, bedtime then.' He picked her up gently and set her on top of the bed. He would make her shower and comb her hair in the morning. As it was, he walked to the small inn bathroom and turned on the shower. He quickly undressed and jumped under the steaming spray.

"SHIT!" he cursed, slightly too loud. He hoped he hadn't woken the kid. The water was burning hot, and he turned it cooler. He began methodically scrubbing himself down, thinking about the weird day he had had.

He woke up to pain and his god's voice, met an annoyingly cute little girl, and made his first friend. 'Well,' he mused, 'unless I count Kakuzu, but he wasn't really a friend- more someone I loved to fight with.' He thought about the little girl in the other room. Miyuna was a very intelligent girl, and Hidan knew she would make a great Jashinist, and a fantastic konoichi. He had decided earlier to train her, because she would be stuck with him until he deemed her ready to convert others, so she may as well be useful. Damn, but it would be a blow to his pride. The great, immortal Hidan, taking on a little brat apprentice. He looked at the situation in the best possible light, and was sill pissed off.

He got out of the shower and dried off with a hotel towel. He put on his clothes again, making a mental note to buy himself and the kid more clothes tomorrow. He'd be damned if that little midget was going to look like a hobo walking with him. After that, he was going to leave the depressed looking Konoha and take her with him, if she would go. If not, he would just kill her and move on anyways. But… could he kill her? Would he? He let those thoughts go as quickly as it came. He would do what was necessary. She was going to convert, anyways, so what did it matter if she went with him? Jashin-sama would guide her in rituals, as he did for Hidan. With his mind loaded and his head spinning, Hidan slowly succumbed to sleep on the second bed.