AUTHOR TIME: For the first timers who are reading my fanfic, THANK YOU for bothering to click that button. I hope this story was worth your time and maybe . . . review?

For those of you who are waiting for Ume No Tsubasa to update, I apologize! It will be out very soon, I PROMISE!

It's just recently my friend made me watch the first 2 seasons of Hetalia and I became fully obsessed.

So what do I do when I'm obsessed?

I write fanfic of course, :P!

So, DISCLAIMER:

ME: I feel unbelievably happy that I kidnapped you!

FRANCE: O_o um, I don't think I even appear in this fic . . .

ME: HEHE of course not! You are just here for my entertainment! Now say the disclaimer.

FRANCE: Well . . . what do I get in return?

ME: What do you want?

FRANCE: Well I want to . . . . and also . . . and . . . as well.

ME: (fainted)

FRANCE: My, my, would like me to help you up? :D

ME: I don't own Hetalia and most certainly not FRANCE!

ENJOY!

p.s translations for the jap at the bottom! :D

I Don't Believe In The Thing Known As Love

"Kiku . . . why . . .aru"

The sharp words were uttered into the midnight air; the only witness was the moon who watched silently as blood was spilled.

"I am not Kiku."

A choking laugh was heard.

"Che . . . then, who are you?"

There was no reply just the silence and stillness of the night.

"Answer me! Answer me, Kiku . . ."

He took a breath and broke the peace.

"I am . . . Nihon (Japan)."


It was a strange feeling that was welling up inside Japan when he woke up one morning. He felt nervous and jumpy; something he shouldn't be feeling. Everything was well. He sighed and sat up, running a hand through messy bed hair. His arms hung limply by his side as birds started chirping merrily outside. Sliding open the shoji, he sat on the veranda, enjoying the spring breeze and the beautiful sakura that were just beginning to bloom. Koi fish swum gently in the little pond next to tree and had several petals from the flowers floating on the surface.

The usual sight of his beautiful garden didn't calm his uneasy heart.

He took a sip of his green tea, then leaned back slightly and closed his eyes.

Things were going at a pace that Japan found much too fast. Technology had developed very quickly and he felt himself losing a bit of his culture every step it took. A slight smile appeared upon his face. To be honest, his own culture had been influenced a lot and most, not all, of it was taken from . . . him.

His eyes snapped open.

It had been ages since Japan had thought of him.

Japan felt himself sink deeper and deeper into his thoughts. And just when he thought he was reaching a point where he felt himself slipping into depression . . .

"YAHOOO! Nihon! How are ya!"

Japan was bowled over by a flash of blonde hair.

"A-america-san. Why are you here this early?"

"To discuss the new releases of manga and anime of course! My people love the English translations and scanlations online! They are selling like hotcakes! Or like good sake if I want to make it sound more Japanese. We must get some more releases of your video games too, Final Fantasy is so popular! Oh, while we're at it, how 'bout we go out for some sushi or something? Come on, you must treat me to a meal! I'm the hero who expanded your economy! Are you doing anything for New Year's? I'm going to set off fireworks and-"

The eager blonde continued talking non-stop and very loudly into Japan's ears as he hauled him up, gave him a couple of friendly whacks to the back and helped Japan dust himself off.

"Let's go!"

"W-wait, please! America-san."

"Why? Time is flying! We must hurry."

Japan suddenly found himself flying around like a flag in the wind with America as his flagpole. Charging ahead at extra speed, Japan suddenly remembered something and tapped his friend on the shoulder.

"America-san . . . do you not have an appointment with England-san today?"

BAM! America ran straight into the wall ahead and dropped Japan.

America and Japan both sat up from the ground and rubbed their heads.

"W-what are you talking about, Nihon! I don't want anything to do with that stuffy short guy who eats those disgusting scones every day! I mean, what kind of person can stand that foul taste? And he hasn't even put up decent Christmas decorations and it's already the 22nd! Man, I can't believe I called that guy older brother before. How uncool, hahahaha . . ."

America trailed off awkwardly.

"America-san . . . Are you avoiding England-san?"

"Avoiding! What are you talking about? Hah! He's been avoiding me!"

"America-san . . ."

America suddenly stood up. His eyes never met Japan's; he couldn't show him what he was truly feeling inside.

"Do you . . . ever miss him?"

The blonde turned and stared curiously at the young man who was still on the floor. It was a question that someone who had Japan's attitude would never ask. Why would he ask it now; why did he ask it in the first place?

"W-what do you mean?"

Japan got up and dusted himself off again.

"Do you ever think about your older brother, America-san?"

America scoffed and adjusted his glasses.

"Why would I miss that bastard? He isn't my brother anymore. He's just a tea loving short dude who thinks he is more powerful than me when he actually isn't. Che."

Japan nodded and stared thoughtfully at his feet.

"Ah, I see."

- HeTaLiA – HeTaLiA – HeTaLiA – HeTaLiA - HeTaLiA – HeTaLiA – HeTaLiA – HeTaLiA - HeTaLiA –

"Some sugar, sir?"

"No, I'm fine. Thank you, Marie."

"Then I shall go and bring out the scones now, sir."

The maid gave a little curtsey before leaving.

"Oh. Marie."

"Yes, sir?"

England stirred his cup of tea gently with a small silver spoon and then placed it beside the cup neatly. He tapped his fingers gently on the white tablecloth for a while and didn't continue what he was saying.

Then, he sighed and looked up at Marie.

"There's no need to set out morning tea for two."

The maid looked back puzzled.

"B-but, sir, I thought-"

"He's not coming. You should know that by now."

The maid's smile disappeared and she looked down sadly at the lush grass.

"Sir. You can't always do this."

England shrugged, lifted the tea cup to his lips and took a sip.

The maid slowly walked back and began to clean up the second set of tea sitting opposite her master.

"Actually, stop."

"Y-yes, sir?"

He hesitated a bit but then spoke.

"Pack this up then go and prepare lunch. We will have a guest today."

"But it's quite early, Sir. And are you sure that he is not-"

England held up a hand and stopped the maid.

"I'm quite sure, Marie."

The maid bobbed her head in a confirmation and went off, the silver platter of morning tea in her hands. As she left, she noted how sad her master always got when it came to this time of the year. The ending and beginning of any year was always filled with happiness and joy but also sadness and remembrance of the past. This year's New Year Celebration was probably going to be no exception.

Another year will be celebrated by England all alone while the countries united with their sisters and brothers.

England leaned back into his chair and looked out into the clear sky. It didn't reflect his mood very well.

"I think . . . I need to talk to him."

- HeTaLiA – HeTaLiA – HeTaLiA – HeTaLiA - HeTaLiA – HeTaLiA – HeTaLiA – HeTaLiA - HeTaLiA –

"Ivan! Oh, Ivan!"

A petite girl stood in the middle of the frozen plain, wearing a thick fur coat and woollen mittens. She stomped around here and there; she seemed all alone.

"IVAN! Come on! Stop playing games! I will find you and when I do . . . hehehehe."

There was no reply to the young girl's threats, just the steady fall of soft, white snow.

"Ivan!"

The girl sat down on a pile of snow and crossed her legs angrily.

After a few minutes she dropped her pose and just looked plain sad. Once again, she would have to spend Christmas and New Year's with Ukraine instead of her beloved nii-san. He always seemed to disappear whenever there were holidays or festivals.

Even on her birthday. . .

Just once, just for one night even, she wanted to be with her brother without him having to run away.

"Ivan . . ."

-cHiBiTaLiA – cHiBiTaLiA -cHiBiTaLiA – cHiBiTaLiA -cHiBiTaLiA – cHiBiTaLiA -cHiBiTaLiA – cHiBiTaLiA

Ne, ne, papa party streamer wo choudai

Ne, ne, mama, ne, ne, mama

Mukashini mietai kirena hanabi

Ano ji ga wasuranainda!

Ne, ne, papa, give me some party streamers

Ne, ne, mama, ne, ne, mama

I can't forget the sight of

The pretty fireworks I saw before.

-cHiBiTaLiA – cHiBiTaLiA -cHiBiTaLiA – cHiBiTaLiA -cHiBiTaLiA – cHiBiTaLiA -cHiBiTaLiA – cHiBiTaLiA

"Kol, kol, kol, kol, kol, kol, kol . . ."

Russia's smile never left his face.

"Ne, where's China? I wanted to spend Christmas and New Year's Eve with him."

He turned back into the forest of bamboo.

"Kol, kol, kol, kol, kol, kol, kol, I will find you! Kol, kol, kol, kol, kol . . ."

- HeTaLiA – HeTaLiA – HeTaLiA – HeTaLiA - HeTaLiA – HeTaLiA – HeTaLiA – HeTaLiA - HeTaLiA –

"Nihon . . . do you . . ."

The two of them were sitting in a traditional Japanese style room; the table in front of them was laden with the best cuisine in Japan. There were types of sushi, noodles, rice, and various other snacks and of course, sake.

Japan expertly poured the green tea out for America, who looked at the steaming cup with great disdain. Saying no to tea was the worst insult you could afflict upon the country of Japan so America couldn't bring himself to say no, even though he hated the thing as much as he hated the English tea that England drinks. What he really wanted right now was a good couple doses of the delicious sake just sitting next to the table.

"Yes, America-san?"

"Do you regret it?"

America's voice came out calmer than he expected.

Japan continued mixing some more green tea, his hands never faltering.

"Regret what, America-san?"

"Betraying your brother."

Japan's hands only stopped swirling for one moment but then started up again, faster than before.

"He is not my brother. It was necessary. I had developed enough under him but to develop further I had to be out of his control. It was for the good of the country."

Blue eyes met dark black, and instantly America heard the message between the words that were said. Japan had avoided his question swiftly but what he said was exactly how America felt too.

- HeTaLiA – HeTaLiA – HeTaLiA – HeTaLiA - HeTaLiA – HeTaLiA – HeTaLiA – HeTaLiA - HeTaLiA –

"Um, you called me over so suddenly, is something wrong, aru?"

England turned from the window to face the speaker.

"Good Afternoon, China."

The long haired man grinned and lifted up his long sleeves.

"Ni Hao, Ying Guo!"

"I know our history isn't too good with the opium wars and then the forced abandonment of your siblings, Taiwan and Hong Kong. But, I have something I wish to talk to you about."

China laughed and nuzzled the little panda on his back.

"Don't worry. I don't hold any grudges for the incidents with Mei Mei and Di Di. They're with me now, that is all that matters, aru. "

"Then how does lunch sound?"

China dug around the basket where the panda was and pulled out a white bun.

"Hao! As long as I get to eat my pork bun, then I'm good, aru. "

He turned to face his panda.

"How does it sound Xiao Bao?"

The panda nodded once.

England had to crack a smile at how cute the panda was.

"This way China, it's in the garden."

- HeTaLiA – HeTaLiA – HeTaLiA – HeTaLiA - HeTaLiA – HeTaLiA – HeTaLiA – HeTaLiA - HeTaLiA –

Aaa, hitoNOOTO de kieru sono ii ongaku

Saa, PARTY wo hajimarimashou

Shin Nen da yo!

Aaa, with a single note, you can hear beautiful music

Now, let's get the party stared

It's New Year's!

- HeTaLiA – HeTaLiA – HeTaLiA – HeTaLiA - HeTaLiA – HeTaLiA – HeTaLiA – HeTaLiA - HeTaLiA –

Time flew by so quickly and soon it was New Year's Eve.

The whole world was in a flutter of excitement. Snow had fallen quite thickly, creating a traditional beautiful white New Year's Eve. As many people gathered happily for the fireworks show at midnight; some said the night just couldn't get any better.

RINGRINGRING

"Moshi, moshi?"

"Konbanwa, nii-san!"

Japan winced and held the receiver away from his ears.

"Konbanwa, Taiwan-san. Are you having a party? It sounds quite loud."

"Yes, that's what I called to say! I'm not going over to your place this year, I'm actually going to stay and party with Hong Kong Ge Ge! I've invited the other Asian countries as well, like Thailand, Vietnam and India. Korea Ge Ge is coming soon with some fresh kimchi. I think it's about time I apologized to China nii-san. I thought China was going to be here, but I can't seem to contact him. Do you where China is nii-san?"

"Sorry. I don't know, Taiwan-san."

"Oh, well. He'll turn up. Have a Happy New Year, nii-san!"

"Ah. You too Taiwan-san."

Taiwan paused but didn't hang up. In the background, Korea had arrived and was singing karaoke together with Hong Kong.

"Is there something else?" Japan asked.

Taiwan frowned and shifted the phone to her other ear.

"Nii-san . . . do you want to come over?"

"No, I'll stay. I'm fine."

Taiwan sighed.

"I'm worried for you. It's already 2012. How long are you going to keep on being like this?"

" . . . I do not understand what you mean."

"Forget it. Just promise me that you'll have a better year this year."

"Hai."

Japan put the phone down and went back out to the veranda.

It felt odd. He had spent many years all alone before anyone had discovered him but never had he felt more alone than tonight. Every year, at least Taiwan would show up faithfully at his doorstep, even though she had been returned to China. But now, times had changed, things were different.

"Kiku."

Japan turned around and peered into the shadows form where the voice had uttered his name. The figure stepped out of the shadows and gave a small sad smile towards him.

"How have you been, aru?"

Japan's eyes widened.

"Chuugoku . . . . (China) "

- HeTaLiA – HeTaLiA – HeTaLiA – HeTaLiA - HeTaLiA – HeTaLiA – HeTaLiA – HeTaLiA - HeTaLiA –

AUTHOR NOTE: Well I originally planned this as a super SUPER long one shot but I decided in the end to split it up into 2 or maybe 3 chappies.

CHINESE=

Gege – Older brother

Didi – Younger brother

Meimei – Younger sister