I'm...okay...really. Here's the next chap...
For three days the Uruk-Hai army buzzed through Jordan's camp, taking his orc-servants captive and pillaging his stores of food and weaponry. The orcs, true to their race, frequently fought back, and the camp was littered with stinking corpses, black blood, and decapitated body parts. Jordan sat in his study, staring dazedly out the window, watching the ruin which befell his decade of work. He had made up his mind about what he was going to do; it was just a matter of finding the opportune moment.
The Uruk-Hai had discovered the four-wheelers. Jordan chuckled as they attempted to move them. After much effort, they were able to drag the vehicles with ropes, though it took two Uruk-Hai to do so. Unfortunately for them, their master had not taught them about the strange little mechanism called a 'parking brake'. Jordan's opportunity had come.
He brushed his hands lightly over the brick wall. One of the bricks moved at his touch. He carefully pulled it out, revealing the secret compartment he had made nearly ten years ago, when he and his father had first come to Middle Earth. Inside lay a fully loaded Sig Sauer P226.
The Uruk-hai struggled to drag the bike away from the camp. Jordan chuckled. *Do they really think they'll get all the way to Isengard that way?*
"Need some help, gentlemen?"
They stopped abruptly and turned around.
"I think I can make it easier for you."
One of them took a few steps forward and stood in front of Jordan, dwarfing him by about a foot.
"How?" it growled.
"I have to release the parking brake. If you'll allow me..." Jordan brushed past it and walked over to the four-wheeler. As he proceeded to climb onto it, he felt a cold, sharp, metallic object prick his back warningly. The other Uruk-hai had pulled a dagger. Jordan cleared his throat and proceeded to release the parking brake. "The machine is asleep," he explained. "It needs to be woken up in order to achieve its proper speed. It will be much faster and easier this way." The dagger dug slightly deeper. It was beginning to draw blood. "Easy there," said Jordan tightly, wincing. He pulled a key from his pocket, slowly, so as not to induce an unpleastant reaction, and started the vehicle.
Jordan had not quite the success he had planned. The Uruk-hai yanked him off the bike and threw him to the ground, placing the jagged blade just at Jordan's neck.
"Hey! Easy there! It's all right!" Jordan explained hastily. There was a slightly muffled exoploding sound. Much to the surprise of his companion, the Uruk paused. Its eyes rolled back most disturbingly, and it rolled over onto the ground next to Jordan. Black blood oozed from a small, round hole in its chest. Jordan held a smoking gun in his left hand.
Before it could react, Jordan fired three more times, directly hitting the remaining Uruk once in each eye and once in the stomach. He then leapt onto the already-running bike, and began to speed away. Saruman's army was already in pursuit, but he had them by at least 30 miles per hour.
*This war isn't over yet.*