My Heart Is In San Francisco
What if Marlena did move to San Francisco after all? After watching the Pre-Paris storyline I thought about what would have happened if Marlena had moved to San Francisco like she said. I had always wondered how it would play out so I decided to write a story about it. I don't know how long it will be or if it will be any good. I just wanted to get it down while I had it in my head. I came up with the title by thinking from John's perspective. I hope you like it. Let me know what you think. The story starts out with Marlena leaving a letter for John on the day she leaves.
Marlena was sitting at her desk in office. She had finally finished packing everything in her office so it can be set up at her new office in San Francisco. She has already gotten a job offer to practice psychiatry at a very prestigious clinic there. She can't wait to get there and get set up. Since she was finished packing, she decided to sit down at her desk and write a very necessary letter. Since she knew she couldn't face John, knowing she couldn't be with him; she decided to write a letter to say goodbye. She is glad that John gets to spend time with his daughter Belle today. He loves that little girl so much and is going to have a hard time not being able to see her every day. Marlena will make arrangements for Belle to see her daddy whenever she wants. She would never deprive John of seeing his little girl or deprive Belle of her daddy despite what she is going through herself. She looks over the letter one more time to make sure she said everything she needed to say.
Dearest John, Marlena
This letter is the hardest letter I have ever had to write, despite that I am writing it because there is so much I have to say to you. I can't see you face to face to tell you what I have to say because I would never be able to get the words out. I am saying goodbye, John. I am leaving town to start anew. I really feel it's the best thing for me. I will make arrangements for you to see Belle anytime you want. She is your daughter, and I would never keep her from you. I know how much you love her and she just adores you. You are a wonderful father. I want Belle and Brady to stay close as well. She has a wonderful big brother in Brady. They just love each other so much.
I am leaving because I love you; John and I can't be with you because you and Kristen are happy and are going to have a baby in a few months. I don't want to interfere with that. I just want you to be happy and I know Kristen makes you happy. Maybe if I had told you sooner how I really felt about you, we would be together now and Kristen wouldn't be having your baby. It's really for the best, John. Tell Brady that I love him and will miss him terribly. We have been through a lot together; some good, some bad but I wouldn't change any of it. I am so blessed to have had someone like you in my life. I will never forget you. You have made me who I am today John Black, and I thank you for that. Thank you for everything you have done for me. I will never forget it. You are an amazing, wonderful human being and that is why it is so hard for me to say goodbye. That's why I fell in love with you in the first place and why I will always love you even if I can't be with you. Thank you for our beautiful time I look at her, I will think of you. There will always be a part of you with me because of her. She is the one person keeping me strong. Everything I do, I do for her and because of her.
I know she will grow up to be a strong and loving person because of what we have done for her as her parents. Even though you and I aren't together, I want Belle to find someone who loves her and will treat her right. I want her to fight for what she wants and to never give up. I don't want her to make the mistakes I made. John, the biggest mistake I ever made in my life was giving you up and not telling you how I really felt about you. I sacrificed my happiness because I wanted to do the right thing for you and for you to be happy. I know you will be happy. I wish the best for you and Kristen and your baby. I really mean that. I say it because I love you and when you love someone, you let them go no matter how much it hurts.
I am letting you go John. Remember me with fondness and love because that is how I will remember you. I don't want you to come looking for me because it would just be too hard. I don't want you to worry about me either. I will be just fine.
Goodbye my love, forever.
Marlena wipes the tears away as she reads the last few lines of the letter. She folds it up and puts it in an envelope and seals it. She writes John's address on it and then places a stamp on it. She leaves no return address. She will drop it in the mailbox on her way out. By the time John receives the letter she will be long gone.
Marlena calls and makes arrangements for the things from her office to be picked up and shipped. Once she finishes her call she grabs her things. John was to leave Belle with Shawn and Caroline, so she can pick her up at the pub on her way out of town. She takes one more look around her old office as a tear falls down her cheek. She then turns out the light and closes the door.