Title: Dawn the Magical Dish Soap

By: Bloodytears87

Pairing: Snape/Harry

Summery: A thought strikes harry over the summer while doing dishes. With all the muggleborns in Hogwats why has no one suggested Dawn to Snape? crack fic

Warning: Sorry if any IQs drop this is complete crack


The idea struck Harry during the summer after his fifth year at the Dursley's. The savior of the wizarding world was standing at the sink scrubbing pots and pans from that night's dinner, one that he wasn't allowed the pleasure of tasting even though he had slaved over the stove cooking it.

While he was scrubbing the grease and grime off a particularly bad pan the teen cursed before picking up the bottle of purple Dawn™ dish soap and squirting a generous amount onto the mess. Oh how he loved that dish soap, it cut though anything. Just then the thought hit him. With all the muggle borns in Hogwarts, why had none of them suggested Dawn™ to Professor Snape? Harry had been dating the snarky potions master for a year now, ever since the end of fourth year when he came back from the graveyard and Voldermort's return.

However that was neither here nor there. It was that evening doing dishes that led Harry to where he was now. Standing outside of Professor Snape's private quarters with Ron and Hermione who he had let in on his little revelation. Hermione, being muggle born herself, was upset that the idea never came to her.

"Are you sure he won't curse us for this?" Ron asked nervously. He was all for the idea, thinking it would be funny if nothing else. That was until Hermione's mother finally owled them a small bottle of orange Dawn™ soap that morning and the plan was about to become a reality.

"Of course he won't," Harry insisted. "He loves me." Ron and Hermione had been the only ones privy to Harry's relationship with their potions master.

"Yea you, not us," the redhead pointed out, gesturing to Hermione and himself.

"We'll be fine, Ronald," the bushy haired girl scolded with a roll of her eyes. Finally the portrait swung open revealing Professor Snape himself who was about to come out of his room. Harry quickly left their hiding place and walked up to the man, wanting to make sure he wasn't busy before commencing the plan.

"Are you busy right now, Professor?" the teen asked innocently. Snape looked at his lover wearily, knowing that nothing good came of that look.

"Not at the moment, Potter," Severus answered, knowing that he couldn't use Harry's first name out in the open like this. "Is there something you need?"

"Yea," Harry said a little breathily, throwing the snarky man off guard. "Don't scream." At those words, Snape's eyes went wide as Ron came out from around the corner and captured the confused professor in a body bind curse.

What is the meaning of this, Weasley!" the raven haired man bellowed causing Ron to flinch back. "You dunderheads release me this instant!"

"Sorry, Professor but I knew you wouldn't go quietly," Harry explained, knowing that the man would never admit that he hated his greasy hair and he would like something done about it. Hermione cast a Wingardium Leviosa and levitated Severus back into his quarters into the little kitchenette.

"And just what are you planning Harry?" the man demanded once they were in his kitchen.

"I had a thought over the summer about how to take care of your hair," Harry admitted to the man.

"My hair is just fine," Snape growled. "Release me or I swear I'll break up with you, Potter." For a moment Harry was stunned before he gave a sigh and motioned for Hermione to sit him in the chair he had pulled up to the small sink. With that task done the bushy haired girl cast a spell transfiguring the sink and chair into the kind you would see at a muggle beauty parlor, complete with spray hose.

"I know you don't mean that Severus," the boy-who-lived said confidently. "When I'm finished you'll be thanking me."

"I doubt that," the man hissed but Harry paid him no mind as he tilted Severus' head back into the sink making sure all his hair was in before placing a towel he had conjured around the Potions Master's neck to keep him from getting soaked.

Despite all the hissing and growling and outright threats, Harry got Severus' hair wetted and Hermione handed over the small bottle of orange liquid. Harry poured a large amount into his hand before going to work it into his boyfriend's hair.

"What's that?" Snape asked as he eyed the soap, wondering if it was some sort of potion.

"It's umm…" Harry said trying to find the right words.

"It's a muggle invention sir," Hermione said coming to Harry's rescue. "It's dish soap."

"Dish soap?" Severus said uncertainly. Harry nodded as he began working it into his lover's hair.

"I thought of it when I was doing dishes at the Dursley's this summer," the green eyed teen informed. Snape, who was now more subdued, gave a soft hum as he enjoyed the feeling of Harry massaging his scalp.

Fifteen minuets and two applications of Dawn™ later Severus' hair was washed, rinsed and dried. The man was currently standing in his bathroom looking in the mirror while Harry stood in the door way looking rather smug as he watched the man finger his now smooth and soft locks. Ron and Hermione fled right before the body bind curse was released.

Slowly Severus turned back to his lover who was starting to look uncertain about all the threats that were made towards him earlier.

"Well," the snarky man said as he pulled the small teen into his arms. "I suppose I should thank you for this." With that Snape leaned down and captured Harry's soft lips with his own for a slow gentle kiss that left the raven haired teen weak at the knees and clinging to Severus for support. Sooner then either wanted, the need for oxygen broke them apart. Harry buried his face in his lover's neck as he panted for air.

"That was some thank you," the little raven finally managed to say.

"Mmhmm," was all the potions master said before leading Harry out of the bathroom, happy with the teen's determination to make him happy in the long run. All the while he couldn't stop thinking that Dawn™ must be a magical dish soap.

THE END


AN: Well today i was standing at the sink filling it with water and pouring dawn into thinking about how it really works on the toughest grease. then it hit me. Snape is supose to have really greasy hair. so why hasnt anyone ever suggested dawn dish soap to him? theres tons of muggleborns in school so why did no one think of it? well thats how i got lead to this fic.