Not Such As A Badass After All


Dear fellow readers, this is not a one shot for those who know me well for them. This Fanfic will be a collection of short stories that doesn't relate to the one after or before it. In this collection, all these little stories have one theme: normality. For example, this first chapter is about Dimitri going to the supermarket in the middle of the night (or morning in their case) to buy a jar of pickles. And you, my fellow readers, will find out soon. I hope you enjoy this.


Dimitri tapped his fingers nervously on the steering wheel as he waited for the light to turn green. It was the middle of the night or day should he says since the sun was up and bright in his eyes. It had been long time since he was out in the sun, enjoying its blissful rays but it had been a while since he enjoyed anything blissful at all.

Such as sleep.

And sex.

And peace and quiet.

He turned left as the lights changed and drove into the parking lot of Wal-Mart. He glanced up at the digital clock on the sideboard and began to tap his fingers furiously on the wheel again. It had been ten minutes since he left the house. This is bad. She could change her mind again. Scanning for a parking space as he went up and down the aisles of parking spaces. It was twelve pm, which meant the lot was full.

Great, just great. He was going to be stuck here forever and Rose was going to blow a gasket on him. Again. Married life is so much harder than people thought.

He circled the lot once more again and nearly cried when he spotted a free parking space. Racing towards it before that blue Camry could reach it, he quickly parked it and practically ran towards the supermarket's doors.

The people must have thought he was a mad man, since he stood at six feet seven wearing a pair of grey faded sweats that was hardly zipped up, a pair of missed matched socks in his sandals with his hair standing up in different directions. It didn't really helped that he had this frantic look in his eyes as he scanned the aisle names as he ran down the supermarket with a shopping basket hanging in his arms and the dark circles under his eyes, pale face didn't really helped either.

He skidded to a stop as the corner of his eye caught the rows and rows of jarred food. Running into it immediately, he smiled in relief as he grabbed the jar of pickles, peanut butter and raspberry jam then dumping it into his shopping basket. Quickly he ran towards the frozen items section and scooped up a box of ice cream when, he remembered Rose's orders.

She wanted a jar of pickles, raspberry jam, peanut butter and … what flavour ice cream was it again?

He stared at the hundred tubs of ice cream ahead of him. What flavour ice cream did she want?

Panic began to rise as he stared at the long row of ice cream tubs and boxes. There were so many brands and colour that he didn't know where to begin with.

Calm down Dimitri, you can do this. What did Rose say? Chocolate? Everyone likes chocolate. Maybe it was vanilla? Or strawberry. I like strawberry, but that's not the point. What does Rose like?

Wanting to scream out in frustration but afraid of being caught by the cops for public disturbance, Dimitri decided he'll just grab all the flavours there were her. He began to load the basket with every flavour there were.

Chocolate, vanilla, strawberry, cookies and cream, toffee, bubble gum, strawberry swirl, mango, banana, caramel and so much more that bean to make his head swirl.

By the time he finished, his hands were freezing and the old woman next to him in the checkout line gave him a sympathetic look.

"Your wife is having cravings, dear?" She asked in that soft fragile voice of hers. Dimitri nodded at this. Rose, six months into pregnancy and her metabolism was running wild, not to mention her mood. The old lady patted his arm with her fragile pale hand. Her blue eyes large and full of sympathy as she smiled at him. He could tell that she was one of those classic beauties when she younger for now she was aging with beauty. Her white hair was styled in that nice old fashion look that he saw in movies as a child and her hand was filed with jewellery that shined and sparkled with class.

"I remember when I had my cravings," she said, smiling at the distance memory. "My Henry was running around the shops all day, trying to find some peaches for me because I suddenly had the urge for it." She chuckled at this.

"I wish you good luck on making her happy because I can tell you now that women at this time are rarely happy."

Dimitri merely grinned. She could say that again. It was the third time he went to the supermarket today on an errand for Rose. She was growing round and big with their child. Even though he hadn't slept well in months, he couldn't remember a happier time.

When the guy in front of him finally finished paying for his goods, he quickly paid for his, said goodbye to the old lady and ran out to the car park. It had been more than twenty minutes since he last left for the house, he was certain that she was going to give him another "What took you so long?" session.

Sighing, he ran as fast as he could for a man with two plastic bags filled with ice cream tubs and jarred foods can without it biting into the sides of his legs.

Throwing them into the passenger seat as he got in, turn the key and backed out of the parking lot as fast as possible, without getting a speeding ticket and hitting a car.

By the time he made it home and was standing at the door of his bedroom, he was ready to face her. With the pickle jar, a spoon, the jam, peanut butter and a bowl of ice cream on a tray, Dimitri turned the door knob and walked into the room, ready for the "session", but that's not what he found.

On his bed lied Rose, curled up on one side with her hand curled next to her face and the other next that hand. He smiled.

She looked so peaceful there, sleeping and oblivious to the world. Placing the tray down on the bedside table lightly, he pulled the bed sheet higher onto her shoulder and kissed her forehead.

Quietly, he removed his shoes and socks, placed his jacket on the chair and quietly lifted the sheets, snuggled into bed and spooned Rose.

Dimitri was about to congratulate himself for the quiet job he done and the fact that she slept before he got home. And here he thought he was going to endure another rant from her.

Just as he was about to drift off into much deserved sleep, he heard Rose said, "You're late."


AN: Okay, I don't know how Rose got pregnant but it's funny if they did. This was inspired by the Pay Past advertisement. Sorry it's short but I kinda of lost the feeling about half way in and I wanted to make more disasters rain on him though I felt sorry for him, I mean he is going to be even more delayed if I made forgot his wallet, lock himself outside his car, get pulled over by the police, get harassed by the women who were shopping, getting trapped in a traffic jam, making one of his friends to recognise him, making him drop all the food in the car park and another million little things. I felt sorry for him so I cut it down a bit.


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