This fic is inspired by Burlesque/Miss Congeniality 2... I started it about 8 months ago, before I even knew Joan was going to be in the field. A special thank you to Jacque, for being my beta and an all-around epic person ;)
Please review and enjoy! :)
Joan stepped out of the closet wearing a black one-piece bodysuit. The suit was low cut but not too slutty. Her wavy blonde hair fell in her blue eyes. Looking at her counterparts in the room, she saw Jai ogling. In turn, she gave him a death glare. He just smirked in return.
"Well, hello," Jai announced.
"What?" Auggie said. He sighed. "Damn it, all the good undercover ops started after I was blinded."
Joan raised her eyebrows menacingly.
"Joan's giving you a look that I think says,' If you weren't blind, I would blind you right now,'" Jai laughed.
Arthur tried not to laugh. "You look… hot."
"Keep it in your pants, Arthur," Auggie joked.
Joan laughed and then went back to looking uncomfortable. Her discomfort was understandable. She was standing in Arthur's office with Jai, Arthur, Auggie and Annie. The latter had just emerged from Arthur's oversized closet, wearing a silver bikini top and a short, ruffled skirt with a bikini bottom attached. Annie was holding a Victoria's Secret bag with their work clothes inside.
"Guys, leave her alone. You want us to follow protocol, right?"
"From one to ten, hot how does she look?" Auggie asked, turning in Jai's direction.
"Eleven," Jai whispered loudly, winking at Annie, who blushed and bit her lip.
Joan coughed, and everyone turned to face her.
"Annie and I have to do hair and makeup. When we come back, no comments," she said, giving them each a look.
They all nodded in agreement.
An hour later, Joan sat in the passenger seat of Annie's car. They were both wearing coats over their little outfits.
"Ok, so let's go over the details of the mission," Joan said to Annie.
"A Frenchman, Pierre Dupont, needed money for arms a few years back. So, he started this little Burlesque club to fund them. Then, his guys started counterfeiting money to make the process go a bit faster. We got an anonymous tip a few weeks back about him using the club as a cover, and we finally got enough to send in undercover agents, aka us," Annie said, repeating almost exactly what Joan had told her the day before. She flipped on her turn signal and made a left. Joan smiled approvingly.
"You learn fast. Ready to masquerade a stripper?" Joan asked.
"Just another day in the field." Annie grinned.
Annie and Joan sat in a small "green room" behind the stage of the club. Their original plan was to infiltrate the club and talk with the other girls who worked there without raising questions. But a stagehand had though they worked there and stuck them in the green room, thinking they were part of an act.
"Annie, please tell me that while you were traveling and learning all those languages, you learned how to work a crowd like this or a pole?" Joan asked.
"Sorry, no," Annie told her with an apologetic smile.
"What are we going to do?" Joan asked, running her hands through her hair nervously.
"Give them what they want," Annie said, snapping her compact shut with a mischievous twinkle in her eye.
Joan looked slightly confused.
"Come on, Joan! Isn't improvising and quick thinking basic parts of CIA training?"
"Yes," Joan said slowly. "But for starters, I've never done anything remotely like this before. I haven't been in the field in years! I'm not as young as you."
Annie walked over to Joan and put her hands on Joan's shoulders.
"Why should it matter? From what I've heard, you were a damn good field agent. And you're smart, and sexy…" Annie said, trailing off as she placed Joan in front of the full-length mirror. "And," Annie added, "You look hot in that outfit."
"You think so?" Joan asked, blushing as she took a look at her outfit in the mirror.
"Absolutely," Annie stated.
A young man wearing tight jeans, a black t-shirt, a headset and some smudged black eyeliner entered the room.
"You girls are on in five," he said, looking over at both of them, catching Annie's eye.
"Thank you," Annie said, dazzling him with her thousand-watt smile. The second he closed the door, Joan turned to her and they laughed.
Annie turned to Joan as they stood behind a closed curtain. "Ready?"
Joan grinned. "Yeah. Keep your eyes peeled for Dupont and his thuggish posse."
The moment the curtain was raised Joan's instinct was to freeze. But she did her best to listen to the song that was starting. She let it move her, like she did when Arthur took her dancing. But when she and Arthur danced, it was a lot classier and slower. The song, 'Kiss Kiss Bang Bang' took off, and Joan watched Annie moving the way she did. The dance was fast-paced, sexually charged and involved a lot of hair flipping.
Annie was letting go, whipping her hair all over the place and making herself feel at home on the stage. She thought of Burlesque, Rent, and any Britney Spears music video she had ever seen. She shimmied her hips and leaned forward, throwing sultry looks at the audience. She and Joan were on an adrenaline kick, and the crowd was going wild. When she looked at Joan, she noticed Joan was tilting her head to the side a bit. Annie looked in the direction Joan was signaling and saw the man they were looking for: Dupont was sitting in the back, looking comfortable and pleased.
The music ended and Annie sauntered off the stage behind Joan. The moment they were backstage, Joan turned around to Annie and almost squealed.
"We did it!" Joan exclaimed.
"You were fantastic," Annie gushed, linking elbows with Joan and leading her back to the little green room.
"You think so?" Joan asked as she grinned.
"Yes," Annie assured her.
Joan threw a black slip over her bodysuit, and then buttoned up her black coat. Annie was reaching for her navy blue peacoat when the same guy in tight jeans from before came back into the room.
"Which one of you is Amber?" he asked.
"Me," Annie said, smiling brightly and remembering her cover from her very first mission. The guy scratched his head.
"Yeah, someone wants a private meeting with you," he told her, signaling for her to head towards to door.
Annie eyed Joan, who gave her the subtlest of nods. Annie turned around and smiled.
"Who, may I ask?" Annie asked.
"I don't know," the guy shrugged, "But he's in the back. Red velvet booth, number…. 4, I think. I can take you."
"Great," Annie said sweetly.
As she followed him out the door, she turned to look back at Joan, who mouthed, jacket pocket. She held up a slip of paper, and then slid it into Annie's coat pocket for her to read later. Annie nodded to show she understood and left the room.
Annie drew back the curtain to the booth to see Pierre Dupont, smiling wickedly. She put on her sexiest face and slid in next to him.
"How can I help you, Mr…?" Annie asked, already knowing the man's name.
"Call me Pierre," he said in a heavy French accent. "I just wanted to commend you for your excellent performance a few minutes ago."
He reached into his blazer pocket and took out a few folded hundred-dollar bills. He took her hand, and placed the bills in her palm, closed her fingers on them. She bit her lip suggestively and leaned forward brushing a kiss on his smooth cheek. Then she got up, walking away from him slowly and letting him check her out, as slimy as it felt.
She got back to green room and slipped a pair of jeans over her bikini bottoms, then buttoned up her peacoat. She slipped the money Dupont gave her into her jacket pocket, trying not to touch the places on the bills he touched. Then she felt the note from Joan. She waited until she left the club and was in a cab, as she and Joan had agreed that if one of them got a meeting, they would take the car. The note said:
When you're done, go home to Auggie. I know he's waiting eagerly for you.
Annie knew that meant to bring any information she had back to the DPD, where Auggie was waiting. She gave the cabbie an address about seven minutes from Langley, a street corner she and Joan had decided on for the car switch. When he rolled up, she saw her car and smiled. She got in, took her keys out of her other jacket pocket, and drove to Langley.
When she arrived back at the DPD, she went immediately to Auggie's little office. When she opened the door, Auggie turned his head in her direction.
"Annie, is that you?" Auggie asked, hearing her shoes click on the floor as she moved towards his workstation.
"You always know!" she said as she laughed.
He grinned. "Joan called about 20 minutes ago. Said you'd be coming in with information on our arms dealer-slash-counterfeiter."
"Better than that," Annie said, pulling the bills out of her pocket carefully. "I might have some of his counterfeit money."
Auggie suddenly became alert. "Take those to Jai, have him send them in for testing."
"Ok," Annie nodded.
"Get anything else?" Auggie asked.
Annie frowned at the memory. "Yeah, I had kiss his cheek to keep my cover working. And let him stare at my ass."
"Oh, come one," Auggie laughed. "I bet guys stare at your ass when you're at Starbucks getting coffee."
She laughed and walked to the door. "Goodnight, Auggie."
"Night," he said.
Annie walked to Jai desk and waved the hundreds in front of him. He looked at her in awe.
"You get those from Dupont?" Jai asked.
"To 'commend my performance'," Annie said coyly.
"Nice. I don't think we even have to run these. Hundreds are the only denominations he makes, and all I have to do is check the numbers. I'll do it, and you go home," he told her
"Thanks," Annie said, putting her hand on Jai's shoulder for a moment.
"I'll see you tomorrow, Jai," she said, patting his shoulder once and then moving away to head home.
When Joan got home, Arthur's car was in the driveway. She was more than surprised to see it there, seeing as how it was only 11 pm. She unlocked the door and hung her coat on a hook in the hallway. As she made her way towards the bedroom, she listened for her husband but didn't hear anything.
When she reached their bedroom, she saw him sitting on the bed, reading. He heard her heels and looked up with a smile on his face. She smiled back and sat on the edge of the bed, pulling his face towards her and kissing his lips lightly. Then she stood up and slipped her heels off.
"What are you doing home?" she asked.
"Waiting for you," he said, eyeing the black slip she was wearing hungrily.
She sat back down on the bed.
"You gave quite the performance," Arthur said suggestively.
"You saw?" she gaped.
He laughed and slid towards her on the bed. Arthur put his hand on Joan's face and traced his thumb over her cheekbones. "I was in the back, at the bar the whole time. Of course, I left the moment you and Annie went backstage."
"And managed to beat me home," Joan laughed.
Arthur grinned and kissed her.
"So do I get a private show?" Arthur asked, his eyebrows raising suggestively.
Joan pulled her slip over her head and moved into Arthur's arms.
"Of course," she told him as her lips met his.
The next morning, Annie went straight to Joan's office, equipped with her morning caffeine. Joan was sitting at her desk, checking her email. When she heard Annie come in she looked up and smiled.
"Morning, Annie," Joan greeted.
"Good morning, Joan," Annie said.
Annie set a double latte on Joan's desk and sat down in a chair opposite side of Joan. Joan gave her a curious look and picked up the latte, taking a sip.
"What can I do for you, Annie?" she asked.
Annie took a deep breath. "Last night, we were fantastic. And I just… I want do it again. I know you weren't a fan of last night's mission, but I liked working with you. You're the best."
Joan took another sip of coffee, the corners of her lips curling into a smile.
"I had fun too. You didn't have to bribe me with caffeine to get me to want to do it again," Joan laughed.
Annie smiled and bit her lip. Joan stood up and walked around her desk, sitting down next to Annie on the couch. She squeezed Annie's hand.
"Next time a mission comes along that requires two female operatives, I'll let you know," Joan smiled.
The two women smiled at each other. The mission last night brought them closer, and they both thought it had the makings of a fantastic friendship.