As someone who lost her mother at a young age, I've always sort of wanted RIB to elaborate on how that's effected Kurt. Also, as a huge Klaine supporter, and a total hurt/comfort addict, I've always wanted to see Blaine be the one Kurt confides in. This fic sort of does that. It's not super emotional, I guess, because I wanted to keep it relativley realistic. A lot of Kurt's emotions in this are my own, and so I tried to portray them accurately. It's just a sort of fluffy oneshot. Reviews make me dance about the place, so you should totes leave me some. :D
Diclaimer: Glee = not mine. If it were, all of the characters, say for Kurt, Blaine, Brittney, Santana, Puck, and Zises would have really minor storylines, and everything would be a lot gayer.
Meet the Parents
There was a nice breeze that day. The trees, which were just past that stage of "budding, but not quite leaves" look, swayed gently as the wind swept past. It was partly cloudy, but it was that type of partly cloudy where the bits of sky that were visible were the deepest blue you could imagine, and the clouds looked like billowing pillows, which had been painted there by professionals. Seventy degrees, the sun bright but not overbearing, the weather was all but perfect, that Sunday in mid-May.
"You really don't have to go if you don't want to," Kurt said for at least the third time to his boyfriend, who stood beside him, a protective hand on Kurt's waist.
Blaine tightened his grip as he said, "I'm not going anywhere."
"Whatever you say," Kurt muttered, as the two of them walked up to the big, metal gate doors that lay before them – the entrance to the local cemetery.
They wandered through the parking lot and the first few sections in silence, Kurt leading the way and Blaine following obediently. "Her plot is up this way a ways," Kurt whispered, nodding his head forward in a general direction. They maneuvered off the brick path they had been walking on, and instead began a shortcut, trudging through damp grass, trying not to think about what lay beneath their feet as they stepped over the raised ground beside the tombstones.
Suddenly, Kurt stopped, and the two of them looked down, and there she was.
"Elizabeth Hummel", the name carved into a nice, average sized headstone, a large "RIP" scraped in above it, and dates along with the words "friend, sister, mother, wife" adorning it.
There was a moment of tense breathlessness, as the two boys stood there, uncertain of how to proceed. Finally, Blaine made the first move, plopping himself straight down onto the ground, criss-crossing his legs, as he held out his hands to Kurt to help him down.
Kurt looked at him skeptically – the ground was a little muddy and wet from the rain the night before, and he was wearing a nice pair of pants – but his boyfriend's face was so endearing that he allowed himself to stifle his concerns, and let Blaine tug him down in the grass beside him. Kurt scooted so that they were sitting side-by-side, the tombstone staring back at them directly.
"How're you doing?" Blaine whispered, putting a hand on the small of Kurt's back and rubbing lightly. Kurt shrugged.
"I'm fine," he said honestly.
For a minute or so, the two were just content to sit there quietly and listen to the sounds around them. Birds chirped happily from various trees, and the occasional wind made small whooshing noises, which were calming. Breaking the silence, Blaine suddenly asked, his voice small and cautious,
"Do you miss her a lot?"
A small smile tugged at the corner of Kurt's mouth at his boyfriend's soft way of asking. He shrugged a little. "Sometimes, I guess." He didn't say anything else for a minute, and Blaine wasn't going to press the issue any further, when Kurt continued. "I mean, when you lose someone that young, it's sort of hard to remember what it was like before they weren't around anymore. I spent so much of my childhood being away from her, being raised by my father, that most of the time, it's fine. It's all I really know. It's a lot h harder for Dad, I think, than it is for me, because he really remembers her. I mean, really remembers. They were high school sweethearts, did you know that? They were together for years and years, when this happened. He knew her better than I ever got to.
"But even still, there are moments, I guess, where I miss her more than I've ever missed anyone before. When someone that important leaves your life so young, it's hard to recall a lot of things, but every so often, something will happen that just like… triggers it, you know?
"Like, right now, I can't really pinpoint what it was like to hug my Mom and just breathe her in, and know her by scent, but there have been times where I've brushed passed a woman at the store and smelt her perfume, or smelt something in the fragrance section at the mall, or something like that, that just gives me an overwhelming feeling that… this is what she smelled like. This is Mom.
"I can't hear her voice in my head when I'm just sitting here with you, but I swear that whenever I hear the lullaby "Hush Little Baby", I can actually hear her hitting every note, singing it to me, and I remember lying in bed as she sat by me and ran a hand through my hair, like it's some sort of flashback or something.
"It's those sorts of things that get me the most. It's the feelings, and sudden memories, that are just sort of harsh reminders of 'hey, you don't have a mother anymore'. I mean, Carole is great, and my Dad is wonderful, but… I'm never going to have a real mother, ever again. I watch Finn cringe whenever Carole gives him a goodbye kiss on the cheek, or I listen to people in Glee club rant about how their Mom's keep prying into their business, and all I can really ever thing to myself is… I don't have that. I don't have a mother to be embarrassed by, or annoyed by, or even to go and cry to. And normally, that's okay. Normally, it don't think about it, but sometimes, like today, after watching Finn and Dad nearly destroy the kitchen in an attempt to make Carole breakfast in bed for Mother's Day… I feel a little empty, and a little put down. I guess it's just days like today when I really miss her. And I guess there really isn't any shame in that."
Blaine was silent for a moment, and then said, as he pulled Kurt into a tight, one-armed hug, "No, baby, there's no shame in that at all."
Kurt bit his lip. He hadn't really told anyone that before. In fact, he rarely talked about his mother at all – normally only to his father, and even then, not that often. He hadn't even been quite sure what it was that had triggered him to bring Blaine with him today. Normally he came alone, this being a private time for him and his mother, but he suddenly felt like this was a necessary step in his relationship with Blaine, as if to say, "Here is a part of my life. Do what you will with it." Asking him to come had been less awkward than he thought it would be. Blaine agreed to it much quicker than he assumed he would.
"Hey, I was just… I was wondering something."
"Yeah. It's just that… this Sunday is Mother's Day, and I know that you probably have to do stuff with your own mother, and that's fine if you can't come down to Lima, but… it's sort of tradition that every Mother's Day, I go and visit my Mom's grave, and this year… it's the tenth Mother's Day since she died, and… I probably sound like a rambling idiot, but I would, I mean it would be nice if you came along, so I could… show her to you? I don't know. I understand if you can't."
"Kurt," Blaine had said, his face falling into a mixture of overwhelming sympathy, and total admiration. "I'd be honored."
"Really? Because, I mean, I don't want you to get in trouble with your family, if they'd rather have you at home instead."
"My Mom's mom died when my Mom was fifteen. She'll understand."
"Oh. Well… thank you."
And that had been that. But sitting here, spilling his heart out to Blaine, Kurt still wasn't sure what exactly he was trying to accomplish. Maybe this was his sick version of "time to meet my parents!", but who knew? He shifted around awkwardly, uncomfortable with the sudden feel of vulnerability.
"Hey, I'm going to go get a drink from the drinking fountain near the gate. Do you mind?" Kurt piped up, wanting to stand up and walk around for a minute.
"No. Do you want me to come with you?"
"Actually, do you mind if I go alone? I'll be right back."
"No, of course, go ahead. I'm fine here." Blaine smiled reassuringly, if not a bit worriedly, and watched as Kurt walked off.
Kurt took his time getting to the drinking fountain, and took a really long drink from it when he did get there. He leaned against it for a little bit, collecting himself. As big of an emotional diva as he was, as open and unabashedly so, this was still uncharted territory for him. He didn't talk about his Mom. Not really.
Eventually, he started to wander back to the grave, kicking idly at loose rocks and reading headstones as he did so. When he was just a little ways off from his Mother's plot, he heard Blaine's voice. He almost called out and asked, "What?", before he realized that Blaine wasn't talking to him.
He shuffled a little closer, and had to strain to hear. His suspicions were confirmed as he began to hear Blaine more clearly. Kurt tuned in as Blaine was saying,
"… and I guess I should probably thank you. I mean, for making such an incredible son. He's turning out pretty wonderfully, if I do say so myself. His voice is phenomenal, and he's got some pretty rocking dance moves, too... and an attitude to match. I suppose he probably gets all that from you, right? No offense to Kurt's Dad, or anything, but he's never seemed the music type. Granted, I could maybe see Burt being a secret diva. It would certainly explain a lot." He chuckled to himself.
"Really, though, Kurt is incredible. He's like no one I've ever met before. He's so moral, and honest, and genuine, and just… everything I could ever want, and then some. You should be really proud of him. He's dealt with some tough shit – pardon the language – but he's been so strong through all of it, that sometimes, I don't even know where it comes from. He's a lot braver than me, that's for sure.
"I promise I'll watch out for him, though, okay? Not that he can't handle himself, because he totally can, but… just so you know, I'll be watching his back. And he's got tons of other people who care about him, too. Burt is doing a phenomenal job as a parent, so don't worry about that, and Kurt's support system outside of home is pretty strong. And I'm not gonna let anything hurt him. Nothing I can help, anyway. I love your son, ma'am, really I do, and I'd rather die than break that promise… I promise."
Kurt's mouth had unconsciously fallen open as he listened to Blaine talk to his Mother's grave, as though his Mother was sitting right there listening to him. He didn't know it was possible to fall more in love with a person so quickly, but Kurt could almost physically feel himself grow even more attached to Blaine, and suddenly he knew why he had brought him here. He just needed to know that Blaine would be able to handle this facet of Kurt's life, and most definitely, he could.
Not wanting to embarrass Blaine by letting him know he had heard him, Kurt purposely made a lot of noise as he walked the rest of the way to the plot. Blaine had stopped talking, and was sitting with his knees drawn to his chest, his arms wrapped around them, looking up at Kurt with an innocent smile on his face.
"Hey, you doing okay?" were the first words out of his mouth.
"Yes," Kurt said. "I'm very okay."
Blaine widened his arms invitingly, and Kurt went over and sat between Blaine's legs, cuddling up close to his warm, stealthy body. Blaine absent-mindedly ran fingers through Kurt's hair (his pants were already filthy, so what was the point of worrying about his hair at that point, Kurt reasoned), and Kurt just snuggled up closer.
"Thank you for coming with me today. I know it's not exactly a hot date, or anything," he said, his voice muffled against Blaine's chest.
"Oh shush. Thank you for giving me the opportunity."
"I love you."
Blaine leaned down and placed a soft kiss on the top of Kurt's head. "You too, Baby. I love you too."