Title: The Sound of Settling

Summary: A few drabbles of a high school boy trapped in a egg raising marriage with a Slayer, an Angel and a Vampire.

Pairing: Mention of Dean/Lisa, Mention Spike/Buffy, Mention Spike/Illyria, Mention Dean/Castiel

Warnings: Violence, language, and serious crack and fluff (and also OFC-centric)

Spoilers: Post Season 8 of BTVS, Post Season 5 of Supernatural

Notes: I was cleaning my house one day and was attacked by a swarmed by dirty plot bunnies. So I cleaned each of them off and this is what came up. Well, part of it. This is mostly bits and pieces of a completely different and new story I came up with that deals with the future of both Supernatural and Buffy. Everyone important in said fandoms will be making an mention of. Since anyone can write a tragedy, I thought to try my hand at comedy. Hope you Enjoy!

Chapter 1: Let's Take a Crack At It

Joseph was struck the first time he saw her walk through the door to his Health Class, a stunning tanned beauty with long dark brown hair laying sleek against her back, wide hazel eyes that searched the room before settling on the cartons of eggs sitting on the front table, a knowing smirk lifting the right side of her chapped pink lips and exposing perfect white teeth.

"Class, I would like you to meet the newest member of our class-"

"Mary. Mary Braeden." she says before the teacher can finish. She gave the class a smart salute and offered the frowning elderly lady a sheepish smile in apology. "Can I find a seat now Miss Bailey?"

Miss Bailey sighed and shooed her to the desks and Mary quickly found a spot in the back of the room near the window...right next to him. She didn't have a bag like the other girls did, just her IPad carrier that's marked with black and silver scribbles and pins. One looked like a pentagram but he can't tell from the angle he's at. He doesn't realize that he was holding his breath, or staring for that matter, while she settled into her seat until she spoke without looking at him.

"Dude, breathe before you pass out."

He felt his face flush with color and spent the next ten minutes studying the back of his hands sitting stiffly on his desk. He was thinking about his little sister's persistent offer of giving him a manicure because seriously, his nails were dull and dirty-

"Joseph!" He jumped in his seat, his leg kicking out and hitting the desk in front of him as giggles sounded around the room. He felt his face heat up again and kept his eyes forward, gulping when he saw Miss Bailey glaring at him in disapproval. "Did you hear what I said?"

"Um, no." he said, deciding to go for truth. After all, he did want to enter Heaven if Miss Bailey decided to smite him then and there. "Sorry."

"Come get your child." Miss Bailey said, pointing to the table where the eggs are sitting. "And then go sit with your married partner."

Joseph rushed to the front, banging his knee on the way and picked up his egg and necessary paperwork before limping back to his seat, blowing out a relieved sigh as he sunk into the familiar hard plastic. He almost missed the amused look Mary was giving him before he flashed her a smile.

She shook her head at him before turning her attention back to her IPad, tapping its screen quickly with her purple feathered stylus with one hand as her chin rest on her other. More names were called and students moved to sit with their married partners until the class was settled into their new seats. A few were sitting alone, providing the example of single parents and some were sitting as a same sex couple. He looked down on his paper and noticed that his said that he was a stay at home dad with a wife who was the breadwinner but worked long hours and had little time to spend with her family.

He frowned as he read that and looked up to see that no girl, save Mary, were getting ready to sit by him. He raised his hand and called out, "Miss Bailey, I don't have a partner and my paper says I'm supposed to. Am I partnered with someone who didn't show up today?"

He really hoped it wasn't with Victoria Kingsley, the resident chatterbox whose only interests was lifestyle of celebrities and their follies. And also his ex.

Miss Bailey frowned. "You're sitting right next to her."

"I am?" He looked to his right to see Candace and Chris sitting with their egg.

"Wrong side dude." He turned around to see Mary with the paperwork and their egg sitting on her desk, her IPad gone and an eyebrow raised. "You really weren't paying attention were you? Well listen up hubby, I work long hours and fully expect my man have dinner on the table when I get home and to make sure that our lil' John James-"

"Pereira." he added.

"-Pereira is put first above all else, got it?" she finished. At his nod, she grinned. "Awesome." He was started to feel spoiled with all the smiles she was giving him but soaked it up anyways.

She put out her hand. "I know we're doing this ass backwards but-Mary Braeden, I just moved here."

"Joseph Pereira, I've always lived here." He said, grasping her slim ring covered fingers in his own. He winced internally at how strong her handshake was. "Nice to meet you."

"Same here."

A comfortable silence filled the space as Mary started to write down the information on the paper sitting on her desk.

"So how solid are we with the name John James?"

"When you can push a watermelon through a hole the size of a lemon."