998Extremely long note ahead and the same note across all stories I just updated.
In the first instance, the reason I am updating so many stories all at once is because I stick to my word and I did say if I passed my specialist exam, I would update every story that had a proofread chapter ready.
Studying for this exam has basically consumed two years of my life so it is a relief that it is over.
The reason I seem to have disappeared for most of the year is not because I've actually disappeared, but because I haven't been able to shift my focus.
After getting COVID on the back of last year, I started writing a Danmachi fic. It was fun, easy, and since the world is easy to encapsulate, I was focusing on that in the lead up to my exam, with the plan to switch to my Naruto story, TTONU, after the exam.
Then I failed the exam which was quite frankly a crushing blow to morale.
At the same time this was all going on, my dad, who has been sick for a while now, got a lot worse this year and passed away mid-year.
Even with all of that going on, I was still trying to study for the resit of the exam in October.
Then, my own health, which also hasn't been great, also worsened and I needed to be admitted to hospital briefly for some heavy immunosuppression.
Again, all this time I was studying for an exam which basically is a hurdle to ever get into a medical speciality and has limited attempts so I was very anxious and stressed.
How this ties into the fanfiction aspect of things, is given all of this happening, I just couldn't muster up the motivation to switch stories. What this has meant though, is I've written 300K+ of Danmachi fanfiction in the past year.
There is a second exam that I need to do next year, but it is a practical exam, not a memorise all of medicine multiple choice trivia exam.
I will keep writing for Danmachi up to a certain point, I'm thinking the Xenos arc, as that one I'm a little bit stuck trying to work out how to play it.
Coming to my other stories now.
I very much intended to finish TTONU this year but as above, lots of stuff happened. Once I switch from Danmachi, I fully intended to focus on it.
That being said, I will also be writing for other stories too.
Again, because of the exam, I haven't really been able to enjoy anything, as anything that was not study related, would bring up a feeling of guilt. For that reason, for most of the past 12 months, I've just been watching shows that I can passively watch in the background without distracting me, in other words, not anime. This means I have yet to watch the end of Naruto (really far behind), end of Fairy Tail (somewhat far behind), or Cour 3 of TYBW (releasing now).
I plan to write for these archives when I get around to watching them, which will probably be from the start of next year.
My pat reon has also been increasing in support so I am now doing two updates a month.
I also made a discord server, plus there is another shared writer discord server where I have been spending most of my free time this year
Remove spaces first:
SSJ3 Kyuubi Gohan personal discord - discord. gg/ mgAZ9GGuFG
Shared writers' discord - discord. gg/ veQrzjgNYh
Currently, I'm doing a rural term and the internet here is pretty spotty, so I'll be doing a lot more writing as I can't really do much else. As I said, I'm probably going to get out a decent amount of Danmachi in the first instance. I'm up to LN 5 at the moment and will probably work my way through to LN 7 or the just before the end of 8. Then I will start catching up on my anime and write for some other archives.
The thing is though, I do have a lot of chapters banked, even with all of these updates, I still have 8 raw chapters done and 39 proofread chapters ready to go, so I'll be doing double chapters every month with ease for almost 2 years, even if I don't write a single word, but of course I will be writing.
As I have said many times in the past, even if it takes years, I plan to finish each and every story I've started.
Thank you everyone for bearing with me and enjoying my stories, I hope to continue to deliver the best work I can for all of us.
TL;DR Life has been hard, hopefully turned the corner now.
SSJ3 Kyuubi Gohan.
Previously:
Naruto and Mei finished their date, before heading towards Mei's lodgings. The two would discuss their respective dreams and plans with Naruto expressing his fears following the events of Pein's attack, with Mei comforting him. In Cloud, Samui would note the early return of the Raikage and along with her team, set out to get answers from Darui. Darui would warn the group and advise them of the absence of the two Cloud Jinchuuriki, much to their concern. Waking the next morning, Naruto and Mei would share a small moment of emotional and physical intimacy in the morning, with Naruto agreeing to marry the Mizukage in the future assuming she could get the other girls on board. Sasuke would then rejoin Naruto, Jiraiya, and Kakashi, with Sasuke telling Naruto of something which led to him getting a punch to the head, before the group headed to the Leaf. Returning to Waterfall, Fu would make a grisly discovery, leading to her journeying to the Sand with urgency.
Disclaimer – I don't own anything from the Naruto anime/manga. All I own are my original characters and plot twists.
'Talking'
"Thinking"
'Heavily demonic voice'
'Fox talking'
"Fox thinking"
*expression*
Jutsu
Flashback
Chapter 45 – Order
As the Leaf group made their way back to their village, Naruto's annoyance had finally settled down. Naruto spared a look at Sasuke who looked nonplussed, which pissed Naruto off all over again, causing his next steps to leave small indents in the ground.
'Geez, blue balls must be bad.' Commented Jiraiya in amusement.
'It isn't being blue that is annoying me, it is red-eyed idiots that is, no offence Kakashi.' Growled Naruto.
'Well, I don't have one anymore either way, so it isn't a problem.' Joked Kakashi, getting Naruto to pause.
'Hey, Kakashi, I know we haven't really gone into it properly, but you know who took your Sharingan, don't you?' Asked Naruto.
'Well it sure as hell isn't Madara Uchiha.' Snorted Sasuke.
'Is that what he was calling himself? Sounds like him to make himself more of a big deal than he is.' Chuckled Kakashi bitterly.
'The person who took my eye is the same person who gave it to me.' Said Kakashi simply, noticing Naruto's entire body seemed to stiffen.
'Hey Kakashi, you were a student of the Fourth Hokage, right?' Asked Naruto quietly.
'I was.' Admitted Kakashi, already sensing where Naruto was going with this.
'So if this person was your teammate, that means they were also the Fourth's student, right?' Asked Naruto.
'That is correct.' Replied Kakashi, before a gust of wind washed over the group, before abruptly stopping.
'Okay. Let's just get home already, put your hands on my back.' Sighed Naruto, as he pulled out a three-pronged kunai and encased the hilt in wind chakra.
Kakashi and Jiraiya placed their hands on his shoulder, while Sasuke placed his on his back.
'Don't stab me there, Sasuke.' Commented Naruto, before the kunai was launched into the air, with the group disappearing seconds later.
-line break-
Fu had taken the direct path to Sand, knowing it would be the easiest one to rally quickly. While the Leaf was geographically closer, it had just been levelled to the ground and aside from Naruto, she doubted anyone would have been too keen to help a dead minor village. Spotting the large walls within the stream of a sandstorm, Fu flew over the top of the walls and landed on the tallest building, which also happened to be the Kazekage tower.
'Seems I need to remember to plant more sentries to watch the skies, this is twice now that someone has infiltrated so easily, but at least you are a friend in this instance.' Said a clone of Gaara, which formed from the ground upwards.
'Gaara, are you and Yugito around, something bad has happened!' Spoke Fu quickly.
'Two floors down. Main office in the centre.' Directed the clone, before dissolving back into Sand.
Fu quickly jumped back off the roof and entered the correct level through a window, before making her way to the office. Inside were Gaara, Kankuro, Temari, and Yugito. Gaara was sitting behind his desk, with Kankuro and Temari either side of him, while Yugito was sitting on a couch in front of and slightly to the right of them.
'Akatsuki destroyed Waterfall!' Said Fu quickly, causing the two advisors to flinch back in surprise, while Gaara frowned.
'How can you be sure it was Akatsuki?' Asked Gaara.
'Because the Waterfall's most treasured secret, the famed Hero Water, was gone. The only one who could have known about it without getting the information from another Waterfall ninja is a former Waterfall ninja, and there is only one of those around.' Explained Fu, calming herself slightly.
'Kakuzu.' Growled Yugito, recalling her own confrontation with the man.
'Tell me about this Hero Water.' Requested Gaara.
'It is a magical water which is produced from the giant tree which hides the village. It is said to give whoever consumes at least a ten-fold increase in their chakra, but at the price of shortening their lifespan by an amount proportional to the power increase.' Revealed Fu, causing Gaara's face to bear the tiniest of frowns.
'I see, with someone like Kakuzu who is functionally immortal, that is most concerning.' Sighed Gaara, as he closed his eyes in thought.
'It might even be worse than that. When Naruto fought him, he destroyed some of his hearts… if he just took down an entire village, he has probably replenished them… and maybe even has a stockpile now.' Added Yugito.
'If they now have such power, what could they be waiting for?' Asked Temari.
'They will be biding their time for an all-out assault it seems.' Guessed Gaara.
'So that stuff with the Uchiha was just a decoy then?' Asked Kankuro.
'How long ago did it look like the village had been attacked?' Asked Yugito.
'I can't say for sure, but it would have been before the meeting at the very least.' Admitted Fu uncertainly.
'What do you intend to do now then, Fu?' Asked Gaara.
'I… I don't know… I guess… I'm kind of homeless now, aren't I?' Commented Fu with a bitter laugh, only for a tendril of sand to press onto her right shoulder.
'You can stay here. I was about to offer Yugito the same, but if you should wish it, you can remain in Sand for as long as I am Kazekage. I wouldn't leave you to fend for yourself alone.' Offered Gaara.
Fu reached up to the sand, her fingers going through it, letting it lace through her fingers, causing Kankuro and Temari to share a look.
'Thanks. I'll take you up on that offer. Is there… is there somewhere I can rest for a bit; I've done a lot of flying recently and am a little tired?' Requested Fu, as the tendril crawled back towards Gaara as he stood up.
'You can stay with myself and my siblings for now until we can find a place you will feel comfortable staying. Unfortunately, if you are seeking the comforts of trees and foliage, Sand may not be the best option, but we can offer what we can in the meantime.' Declared Gaara, walking towards Fu.
'I guess you have cacti after all, that's something green.' Commented Fu with a smile, causing Gaara to tilt his head.
'We do, I can show you some perhaps. Temari, Kankuro, please find somewhere for Yugito to stay in the meantime as well. While there is every possibility that Cloud will come to their senses, I will not hold my breath in anticipation. That man is too much like the late Fourth Kazekage.' Requested Gaara, before opening the door to his office and leading Fu out, leaving the other three behind.
-line break-
Arriving a few metres from the gates of the Leaf, Naruto was surprised to sense such a large crowd at the gates.
'Wonder what's going on.' Commented Naruto.
'Of course this could just be the welcome committee for their newly beloved Sixth Hokage.' Teased Jiraiya.
'I don't think I'm that loved just yet.' Said Naruto.
'Yet having a harem does make one want to beg to differ.' Pointed out Kakashi.
'I am beloved by some not all. The only thing that would get this much of a response is a possible threat after what happened and the fact that Sasuke just got here, it has to be someone else.' Deduced Naruto.
'I'm a threat?' Asked Sasuke with a snort of amusement.
'Not to me, but to others, yes.' Retorted Naruto, causing Jiraiya to chuckle in amusement.
'You've really gotten a big head these days, Naruto. I can't help but wonder if there is something else making you like this. It can't all be the harem.' Commented Jiraiya in amusement.
'It's not a big head if I back it up. I'm just stating the truth. When it has mattered most, I never lose.' Countered Naruto, getting Jiraiya to concede that point.
'Of course that's what it is.' Sighed Naruto, once he spotted the reason there was such a presence at the gates.
'Yo, Naruto, tell these people I'm your bro.' Rapped Bee, as the group approached him.
'You know Bee, considering Cloud is the only village not allied with the others and you are a completely synced Jinchuuriki, did you stop to think that other than Akatsuki, you are the strongest threat to the village now?' Pointed out Naruto.
'That's a no go, I don't want to wreck my new home, yo.' Rapped Bee, crossing his arms in the air.
'*sigh* Any reason you didn't just come back with us then?' Asked Naruto.
'I didn't want to get in the way of you and that babe, I didn't think you would be back in a day.' Explained Bee, causing Naruto to sigh.
'I'm not going to do that right now, not unless I am sure I won't be interrupted anyway.' Spoke Naruto, whispering the second part.
Naruto walked to the gates and raised his hands, causing the majority of the gathered ninja force to disperse, causing Sasuke to whistle.
'Who would have thought you could actually command respect?' Commented Sasuke.
'Don't forget, I had you eating snow yesterday, I can feed you some dirt if it wasn't to your taste.' Snapped Naruto, getting Sasuke to raise his hands in surrender.
Naruto and his group entered the village, and it didn't take long for gossip to rip through the village, what with Naruto returning with both Sasuke and the well-known Eight-Tailed Jinchuuriki of Cloud.
'That got rebuilt fast.' Commented Naruto, seeing the Hokage tower was now rebuilt and better than ever.
'Of course, they had a super builder on the case.' Said a man who approached Naruto.
'Well Tazuna, don't you look the same.' Said Kakashi, giving an eye-smile.
'Considering I've aged five years since then, I'll take it as a compliment.' Laughed Tazuna.
'It's good to see you again, Tazuna. Actually, I was wondering if I might commission you for a personal job.' Said Naruto.
'After what you did, I'll do it free of charge if it is a favour to the one who saved our home.' Replied Tazuna eagerly.
'Hmm, seems like there is a bit of favouritism here.' Commented Kakashi.
'I will pay Tazuna, as long as you bring Inari as well, so we can have a chance to catch up. I would like to chat for longer, but I have something I need to take care of first.' Spoke Naruto pleasantly, getting a nod from Tazuna.
'Of course, Lord Hokage.' Grinned Tazuna, getting Naruto to smile.
'Don't worry about that, I'm just Naruto to you and your family.' Commented Naruto, before walking off, causing the man to chuckle.
"To think that little shrimp could become a man like this." Thought Tazuna in amusement, as he wandered off to find Inari.
Once the group had made it to the Hokage Tower, Naruto entered by walking up the side of the wall and entering through the window, with the other four mimicking him, following after as well. Naruto then closed the window and flared his chakra, causing a few ANBU to drop down.
'I will need someone to secure lodgings for Bee here. I will also need Sasuke to be escorted to the Uchiha district where he is to remain under supervision by at least two ANBU at all times. Lastly, I need the location of where Tsunade and Shizune are currently, I need to see them.' Ordered Naruto, getting a series of nods, before two more ANBU appeared beside Sasuke.
'Sasuke, try and keep to yourself and depending on how things go, be thankful the Mangekyo runs deep in your family.' Advised Naruto, causing Sasuke's eyes to widen before he was whisked away in a body flicker.
Naruto gave a nod and the other three ANBU left, leaving Kakashi, Jiraiya, and Bee, with Naruto. Naruto sighed as he rubbed his eyes and gave a small yawn.
'Bored of being Hokage already? That didn't take long.' Commented Kakashi.
'It's not that. I just feel like I haven't had some down time for a while now. First there were all those attacks, then needing to fight a fake Kyuubi, then Pein, then the meeting. Sasuke was just the tip of the iceberg, but now he's the reason I've got a second iceberg to deal with. Now this guy too… I feel like Shikamaru.' Grumbled Naruto.
'Yes, the blue balls must be an issue after all.' Nodded Jiraiya knowingly, causing Naruto glare at him.
'You two are dismissed now, don't start any trouble.' Huffed Naruto, getting a two fingered salute from Kakashi and small laugh from Jiraiya before the two disappeared.
'So what do you think, Bee?' Asked Naruto.
'Just go with the flow, it's all you do, yo.' Replied Bee, causing Naruto to sigh.
A few moments later, another ANBU dropped down.
'The Fifth Hokage and her aide are in room twelve in the east branch of the hospital.' Reported the ANBU, before Naruto gave them a nod to dismiss them.
'You better come with me. I'm one of the only three people in the village who could hypothetically control you, so you better stay with me for everyone's peace of mind.' Suggested Naruto.
Bee nodded as Naruto walked over to him before they both disappeared, appearing moments later outside the hospital. Naruto located the room from the outside and appeared in a flash, startling Shizune to the point that she fell out of her chair.
'N-Naruto?' Stammered Shizune.
'Sorry about that, Shizune, just thought sneaking in would be a little better than bringing this guy through the front door.' Apologised Naruto, pointing his thumb at Bee.
'How did you get in though?' Asked Shizune.
'Oh, I marked granny years ago, and apparently; they never fade away. Don't tell her that though, she needs someone who can appear and save the day sometimes, even if nine times out of ten it will be to pay off a bad bet.' Explained Naruto, before sitting on a chair beside her.
'How is she?' Asked Naruto quietly.
'I think she should wake up any day now, she spoke yesterday, so her body is not in a coma, but I'm not sure why she is still sleeping. She should have recovered enough of her chakra to be up and about now.' Confessed Shizune.
'Maybe she just needs a shock to the system.' Suggested Naruto, before leaning closer to Tsunade and whispering something to her.
Tsunade's fist seemed to twitch for a moment, which Naruto noticed, before leaning in again and whispering something else. Tsunade's eyes opened wide, and a fist was headed straight for Naruto's head, only for him to suddenly turn into Jiraiya who then exploded into a puff of smoke, which cleared moments later to show an unharmed Naruto.
'What the hell did I miss?' Asked Tsunade irritably.
'Lady Tsunade, you're awake!' Cried Shizune in relief.
'Awake? How long was I asleep for?' Asked Tsunade.
'Long enough for me to take your hat.' Commented Naruto cheekily, getting Tsunade to look at him and notice the robe and hat of the Hokage draped over his form.
'No backsies.' Said Tsunade, causing Naruto to laugh.
'Lady Tsunade, the role of Hokage isn't a child's plaything!' Chided Shizune.
'Hey, I was always just planning to hold it until he was ready and if he is Hokage now, then enough people must have agreed he could handle it, so I'm not taking it back.' Rationalised Tsunade, causing Shizune to sigh and nod.
'Well, glad you think so, but I needed some advice, Hokage to Hokage, if you don't mind.' Said Naruto, causing Tsunade to raise an eyebrow.
'You? Asking for advice? Has the world gone mad?' Asked Tsunade.
'Well, A might have gone off the deep end, but that's not on me.' Admitted Naruto with a small shrug, causing Tsunade to adopt a puzzled expression.
'On that note, what is he doing here?' Asked Tsunade, pointing to the Eight-Tailed Jinchuuriki, who had been surprisingly quiet.
'Oh that's Bee, he is my direct subordinate slash friend in a sense, since A basically let his ego go to his head and make some bad decisions.' Explained Naruto.
'The Eight-Tails Jinchuuriki is your subordinate? How long was I out for?' Asked Tsunade.
'Only a few weeks, but I work fast, in more areas than I thought it seems.' Admitted Naruto, mumbling the second part to himself.
'What do you need me for then?' Asked Tsunade.
'Hey Shizune, can you get yourself something to eat and take Bee with you, I'll keep Tsunade company in the meantime.' Requested Naruto.
Shizune spared Tsunade a glance before nodding.
'Not cool nine, I was admiring one zero six.' Whined Bee, causing Naruto to quirk his head while Tsunade clenched her fist in annoyance.
Shizune then ushered the Cloud Jinchuuriki out of the room, fearing Tsunade's possible reprisals and the possible international incident that would follow. Tsunade then turned towards Naruto who seemed deep in thought.
'What are you thinking?' Asked Tsunade.
'I think you've got almost twenty over on Mei.' Admitted Naruto, causing Tsunade's eye to twitch dangerously.
Tsunade cracked her knuckles, snapping Naruto out of his thoughts, getting him to adopt a serious expression, halting Tsunade for the moment.
'We can come back to that later, I need to discuss something important with you first.' Said Naruto, getting Tsunade to narrow her eyes.
'What?' Asked Tsunade, thinking he was just trying to change topic to avoid a beating.
'Well, also in the time you were napping, Sasuke became an idiot and aside from threatening to kill the Raikage and Tsuchikage before I beat him into the ground, managed to kill those two fossil elders.' Revealed Naruto, causing Tsunade to look at him in disbelief.
'He threatened two Kage and killed two elders of his own village… is he an idiot?' Asked Tsunade.
'Yes, but that isn't what I wanted to discuss with you. I'm trying to work out how to punish him and I have an idea, but I need someone to bounce the idea off.' Admitted Naruto.
'What's the idea?' Asked Tsunade.
'I was planning to remove his eyes.' Explained Naruto, getting Tsunade to blink.
'Are you an idiot?' Asked Tsunade flatly.
'I was going to replace them, but I was thinking as a punishment he should publicly have his eyes removed since he basically could have caused the next Great Ninja War and his eyes are his most prized possession, so making a show of it would be a fitting punishment. Obviously, I'm not going to leave him blind, because while he is an idiot, he is still a useful one. Besides, his Mangekyo is going to turn him blind soon enough and this way he won't.' Rationalised Naruto.
'Are you a huge idiot? You just said he tried to start a war and your plan is to make him stronger.' Questioned Tsunade.
'I was then going to put him into ANBU so he wouldn't have a public face anymore, even though if he ever activates his eyes, you'd know exactly who it was. Honestly, too many ANBU are too distinct, it's easy to know who is who, it'd make more sense if they were all similar in appearance.' Commented Naruto.
'That is what Danzo did with his Root.' Pointed out Tsunade.
'Oh… then forget I ever said that, that guy was an even bigger idiot than Sasuke and A put together.' Backtracked Naruto, getting a nod from Tsunade.
'More importantly, idiot or not, can you trust Sasuke to stay in line if you do help him get stronger?' Asked Tsunade.
'Yes, and he knows if he steps out of line again, I can make him bow to my power alone, not to mention the other ways I could do it.' Replied Naruto, getting a snort of amusement from Tsunade.
'When did you get this arrogant?' Asked Tsunade.
'Probably around the time I realised I had accidentally formed a harem.' Shrugged Naruto.
'That wasn't a joke? Wait, you're getting married?' Shouted Tsunade in disbelief.
'No, and probably, few kinks to work out first.' Admitted Naruto, much to Tsunade's disbelief.
'So Jiraiya corrupted you in the end, should have known.' Sighed Tsunade.
'Not really, I'm just not going get in the way of my own happiness. There… there was some other stuff that happened that you don't know about… Mei helped me through it, but after what happened, I'm not going to bother trying to be normal, or whatever the hell that means. I'm Naruto Uzumaki, Sixth Hokage, and the Most Unpredictable Ninja of the Leaf!' Declared Naruto proudly.
'We will come back to that then. I'm not about to let my successor become a basket case, that will mean I'll need to take over again and I have no desire to do that.' Chuckled Tsunade, getting a smile from Naruto.
'Your plan makes sense but also, it won't be seen as a popular option by a lot of people, especially civilians.' Pointed out Tsunade.
'I mean both the Tsuchikage and Raikage said they would get him back for trying to kill them. Sure, the Tsuchikage settled down in the end and the Raikage isn't our ally anyway, but there should be some kind of token punishment, shouldn't there?' Countered Naruto.
'Taking someone's eyes isn't exactly a token punishment.' Deadpanned Tsunade.
'Punishment has to fit the crime. I think losing one sense for almost trying to start a war is fair. I can't just outright tell them I'm helping him though. That's why I plan to put him into ANBU after that.' Explained Naruto.
'As far as I can say, the shinobi will understand, the civilians not so much, you're going to need some decent spin on that serve to get it across without it backfiring.' Advised Tsunade.
'Any suggestions?' Asked Naruto.
'Part of the truth, you should reveal his attack on the Kage, but mentioning the elders is sure to get a more polarised reaction. You should also clarify that it is a temporary punishment but not give a timeframe.' Advised Tsunade.
'So a public eye removal wouldn't work?' Asked Naruto, causing Tsunade's eye to twitch.
'That sounds like something Orochimaru would do.' Commented Tsunade.
'So that's a no then.' Agreed Naruto with a nod.
'I think what you need to do is dehumanise the situation. Anything public would send the wrong message. Send it out through communication channels and have it happen behind the scenes. On paper, it sounds like a reasonable punishment, but bring any emotion or humanity into things and people will never agree that taking someone's sight is a fair punishment.' Suggested Tsunade.
'I guess that is more reasonable. Shame, I was just imagining how dramatic it would be to pull Sasuke's eyes out on a platform in the middle of the village.' Snickered Naruto.
'Are you two even friends?' Asked Tsunade.
'Yep, but he is an idiot.' Nodded Naruto.
'And coming back to that, are you not an idiot? A harem? What would your parents think?' Asked Tsunade.
'I already told them, mum was happy about the grandkids, but concerned Jiraiya had corrupted me, and Minato just kind of went along with it, I told you that a while ago, didn't I?' Recalled Naruto.
'You did, but you didn't know you had a real harem then.' Countered Tsunade, to which Naruto shrugged.
'Well, it is what it is. Thanks for the chat. I better get some rest for tomorrow then. You should take it easy as well today. I'll bring you up to speed tomorrow, it's mostly good news at least and you've already heard most of the bad stuff already.' Advised Naruto as he stood up.
'Well, with you as Hokage, I've got nothing to worry about anymore.' Shrugged Tsunade.
'Well, hopefully not, but I've learnt not to underestimate idiots, and it seems they are everywhere these days.' Joked Naruto.
'Like you are one to talk.' Teased Tsunade.
'I was including myself in that list you know, besides, just because I'm an idiot, doesn't mean I can't have fun being one sometimes.' Laughed Naruto, before he walked out of the hospital to find Bee and Shizune.
'Anyone who thinks they can pull off a harem is in for it.' Scoffed Tsunade quietly.
-line break-
After having finally found Bee a place to stay on the edge of the village for the interim, Naruto made his way home, sensing a few signatures there already.
'Hey girls, waiting for me?' Asked Naruto, as he entered his home and noticed, Tenten, Tayuya, and Fuka were all present.
'Actually, they were, I'm just here to watch.' Explained Fuka, pointing at the other two girls.
'Watch?' Mumbled Naruto in confusion as the two approached him.
'Seems like you pissed off the hermit, so he came by and told us what you got up to in Iron.' Started Tayuya.
'Oh. Did he tell you everything?' Asked Naruto carefully, not sure how much Jiraiya had revealed.
'You mean the part about you proposing to and then sleeping with the Mizukage? Yeah.' Added Tenten.
Naruto was starting to sweat now. Confidence was one thing, but two unreadable expressions from two woman capable of reasonably destructive techniques was unnerving. The fact that Fuka was simply watching all of this unfold… well, Naruto didn't know what to make of that either, but he figured if they were going to murder him, they wouldn't want witnesses.
'So, what did you think?' Asked Naruto.
'About you thinking you could just lump us all together like that? Not very happy, especially since it seems like she's gunning for something that isn't hers.' Replied Tayuya quickly.
'What do you mean? I said I wasn't onboard unless all of you agreed.' Queried Naruto in confusion.
'That's not the part we were talking about. Also, you better still propose to us properly, none of this second or third hand nonsense.' Admonished Tenten.
'Ok, now I am officially lost then.' Admitted Naruto with a small sigh.
'Do we just show him?' Asked Tayuya.
'Well, he's never been the book smart type and usually learns with hands-on experience.' Shrugged Tenten.
'Come with me then.' Demanded Tayuya, grabbing Naruto's hand and sitting him on his sofa.
'That lady wants to take your virginity, and we've got dibs.' Explained Tayuya, with Tenten nodding in agreement.
'That's the part you were talking about!' Exclaimed Naruto in disbelief.
'We were first, although I still say I was first overall.' Declared Tenten, narrowing her eyes on Tayuya.
'First kiss right here, even if you knew him first.' Countered Tayuya, pointing her thumb at her chest.
'Well either way, we aren't coming second.' Said Tenten.
'Really poor choice of words there.' Joked Tayuya, causing Tenten to huff as she pursed her lips.
'You know what I mean.' Pouted Tenten.
'I'm still a little confused.' Interjected Naruto.
'We had to decide who gets to go first and we settled it with a speed ramen eating contest. Should have known buns was a glutton.' Sighed Tayuya.
'Don't be jealous.' Teased Tenten.
'That's kind of hot actually.' Admitted Naruto, causing Tenten to blush.
'W-what, why?' Asked Tenten in confusion.
'Well of course I'd like someone who can put ramen down like I can.' Shrugged Naruto.
'My plan was to have you eat ramen off us.' Added Tayuya, causing Naruto's eyes to widen.
'I don't think that would work.' Said Naruto questioningly, getting Tenten to huff in triumph.
'Told you.' Preened Tenten.
'Oh are you sure? What about… if we…' Started Tayuya, leaning closer to Naruto, before whispering the rest in his ears.
Naruto's eyes widened as his face started to go red, before steam came out of his nose.
'Told you he'd like the idea.' Winked Tayuya, pressing herself against Naruto.
'Hey, I'm first!' Protested Tenten, before jumping on Naruto and Tayuya, causing the sofa to break under their weight and send the three toppling onto the floor on their backs.
'Uh, well it was a nice idea while it lasted.' Grumbled Naruto.
'What do you mean? One broken couch isn't the end of this.' Declared Tayuya, causing Naruto to look at her in disbelief.
'Yeah, you have a bed after all.' Added Tenten, before pulling Naruto up and leading him to his bedroom.
'Wait! We just broke the couch; don't we need to clean up first or get a new one?' Protested Naruto.
'Nope.' Chorused Tenten and Tayuya in unison.
'What? Why not?' Asked Naruto.
'We don't need a couch anymore.' Said Tenten.
'So get comfortable with bed buddies because we don't have that much space anyway.' Added Tayuya, once they made it inside the room, the girls pushing Naruto on the bed in no time at all.
The young Hokage was still somewhat confused with the whole situation, which flared when Fuka also walked in and closed the door.
'Wait a minute! This is what you meant by you're going to watch?' Asked Naruto in disbelief.
'Of course. I'm the reserve tonight, but if they do wear you out before you can get to me, I'm up tomorrow.' Explained Fuka.
'Don't worry about her, we aren't going to let you leave anything in the tank, or at least I won't.' Declared Tayuya, before casting a small Genjutsu, hiding the room from all possible surveillance, while Tenten closed the curtains before they both turned on the stunned Naruto.
-line break-
'Damn it! I could have never expected this outcome and now I'm cut off! How am I supposed to write my next book this way!' Huffed Jiraiya, his telescope unable to penetrate into the room.