2185 Lazarus Station

Well once again no one saw fit to seek my opinion on what should be done with my life or should I say death, and Cerberus, yes Cerberus of all entities, brought me back to life. Fucking Illusive Man poured four billion credits into resurrecting me. Really bad fucking investment on his part, because I remember everything Cerberus did. I still hear the screams of the marines with me on Akuze; I can still the look of desperation in Tombs eyes as I talked him down from killing the Cerberus scientist. I remember the husks and the Thorian creepers, hell I can't even be completely sure Cerberus had nothing to do with the Thorian itself. I remember Admiral Kahoku's men, killed by a Thresher Maw. I remember finding Admiral Kahoku's body amidst the remains of several Rachni they were experimenting on. I'll be damned if I let The Illusive Man use me, he can go to hell, I'm sick and tired of people making decisions for me. Maybe he should have thought harder on the idea of a control chip because that would be the only way he will be able to control what I do.

I didn't have much choice in going to Freedom's Progress, figured I'd just get it the hell out of the way and get the hell away from Cerberus and try to find the pieces of my life. I was wrong, so very wrong. We got to Freedom's Progress and the colony was gone. The buildings left, plates from dinner on the tables. It was like those old ships you used to hear about in the Bermuda Triangle, it was downright disturbing. I couldn't help but feel like I was walking over a graveyard, and for someone with a healthy respect for the Otherside, I can guarantee you, I don't like being in graveyards. We searched and searched and almost left knowing nothing more than when we arrived. If we hadn't stumbled on Tali and her group of Quarians we would never have known about Veetor, never seen the data he managed to collect on the Collectors… hehe collect on the Collectors, sorry. I would never have known what was happening to those colonies maybe that would have been a good thing. I just don't know. Once again the choices are being taken out of my hands. Military, Spectres, Council, Alliance and now Cerberus, I feel like I'm just a pawn in a much bigger game than I can ever comprehend.

Rebirth

Slowly Shepard awoke, pain coursed through her body, she tried to look around and figure out where she was. The last thing she remembered was dying, apparently the Alliance had gotten there quick enough after all. She heard a woman's voice, she wanted to ask about her crew, about Kaidan, but she couldn't make the words come.

"There. On the Monitor. Something's wrong," she heard the heavily accented voice. She tried to look toward where the voice was coming from but was unable to move her head.

"She's reacting to outside stimuli. Showing an awareness of her surroundings," came another voice, this one male.

Shepard raised her arm, trying to make her head move; she could see the ceiling and equipment but couldn't figure out where she was. Finally she was able to turn her head to see the woman, wearing a white and black suit walking toward her.

"Oh my god, Miranda. I think she's waking up," this from the male voice she heard in the room. She turned her head and saw a man approaching her bedside. Again she tried to talk, tried to ask the questions plaguing her mind, but could not make the words come out.

"Damn it, Wilson. She's not ready yet! Give her the sedative!" the woman – Miranda – spoke again, a tone of authority carrying in her voice. Her face was gentle when she turned her attention to her patient. "Shepard – don't try to move," she said quietly, taking the hand Shepard had raised and laid it back on the table. "Just lie still. Try to stay calm," she reassured the warrior.

"Heart rate still climbing. Brain activity is off the carts." Came the statement from the one Shepard assumed was Wilson. "Stats pushing into the red zone. It's not working!"

Shepard looked around, trying to make sense of what was happening to her, she could barely catch her breath and there was so much pain. What is happening to me? She thought, trying to make the words come.

Miranda turned to Wilson. "Another dose, NOW!" she commanded.

Slowly Shepard began to feel less pain, and darkness started clouding in around her vision. NO! She cried in her mind, I need to know.

"Heart rate dropping. Stats falling back into normal range," Wilson reported. "That was too close. We almost lost her."

Shepard needed to know what was going on, but she was falling back into the blackness that had claimed her in space.

"I told you your estimates were off. Run the numbers again."