This is my very first ever fan fic. This story also has not beta… So If anyone actually reads this know that I greatly appreciate it, and would love to hear what your thoughts are! Just please be kind and constructive, I'm a newbie after all :) As the summary said I wanted to see were the story would go if Sookie stopped making the same mistakes over and over and over. CH portrays here as an intelligent yet stubborn woman, and things should have definitely gone a bit different in my very humble opinion. In this fic Claudine did pass away, but Tray was just incredibly wounded. Im going to try and have this story follow were the previous books have brought it to, but after that it will be AU with OOC for several of the characters. No copyright infringement is intended… I'm just putting my daydreams into words. Enjoy.

It had been two weeks since the fairy war. I don't think that I ever realized what good friends I really had until now. Between Sam, Jason, Amelia during the day and Eric and Pam at night it seemed as though someone was always checking on me. But there were many times that I was still left alone to think on things. Everyone had mentioned that I was lucky to have survived. Me lucky? Yea right, is that what my life has been? Was losing Claudine and her baby worth my life? Or Tray and Bill's injuries? I sure didn't think so, and it ate me up that I was here and Claudine and her baby were gone. My greatest hope was that everyone would forgive me, given enough time.

It was the early morning, and as I cast out my mental net I could sense that Amelia was still asleep. She had been so great as a friend and roommate. She was working herself to the bone between helping with both me and Tray's recovery and helping Sam cover shifts. But Amelia never complained, I had read in her mind on more than one occasion that she was just happy we both made it out alive; she didn't know what she would do if she lost either of us, she loved us both. I hated to eaves drop on her, but it was hard to keep my shields up, I found I just didn't have the energy. With all that Amelia had done for me I decided the least I could do was cook her breakfast. So I slowly made it through my morning routine, taking care of my human needs, and made my way to the kitchen.

I found that the peace and quiet in my head and the task of cooking breakfast let my mind wander. That's how I ended up thinking about everything that had happened. How do you survive the aftermath? I had been through many things in my short life. I had been attacked, beat, stabbed, raped, blown up, not even mentioning the wars and takeovers I had been in; and now tortured within an inch of my sanity. I had wished for death. Wished for it to all end, and it didn't. I grew up with little family, so many lost to tragedy, that when my great-grandfather Nial entered my life I was overjoyed, even if he was a Fae Prince. But looking back, maybe I should have been more cautious? Asked more questions? If I had only knew then what I know now.

Although I was told I never really understood how important Nial was and is to the fae people. I was just happy to have more family. I didn't understand the implications of him being a price or the warnings about his enemies. Why would I be in danger just because I had a little fae blood? I was still human! But Brendan the Price of the Water Fae was my great-grandfathers greatest enemy, and my biggest threat. If I would have accepted Eric's proposal to stay with him maybe I would have been protect, and maybe the torture could have been avoided. Maybe Claudine would have died. There were so many maybe's. I thought that I knew better than those who had lived for 3x's my age, because it was my life and I knew what I needed. I knew better that those who understood the risks, the implications, and the politics. I was too stubborn, was to prideful.

Eric. Eric was a whole other issue. Where was Eric? In the depths of my pain and agony I cried out for him; but he never came. Did I push him away to far this time that he wouldn't come help me… or was it that he couldn't? There are so many questions, too many questions, and we still hadn't discussed everything that had happened. Somewhere deep down I knew that it wasn't that he wouldn't come, but that he couldn't come to my rescue. I know because I can see it in his eyes and feel it in the bond. He has been her for me at least every other night, and when he doesn't come he sends Pam. He makes sure that everything is taken care of; including the numerous bills there must be just from Dr. Ludwig's weekly visits, even when I protested. Eric had also been giving me his blood so I could heal quicker, and would rub his blood on the wounds that were the deepest. But even with Eric's care, it's still taken me time to heal. Time to think. Time to dwell.

It's kind of funny how things can go from chaotic to boring so quickly. Just like the pack war, and the witch war, the fairy war had come and gone and once again we had won. We hadn't lost too many friends or allies, although some were injured. I must be living my life wrong for these things to keep happening. Wait. As I lay there my brain really started working, and that's without my coffee! Could it be as simple as that? Although I hated to admit it, maybe how I was living and thinking and behaving were the problem. Maybe I would have to change so that I could protect myself and the ones I love… and change soon before my luck finally runs out.

I really needed to talk to someone about all these things, and as 'luck' would have Amelia was walking into the kitchen. I was so enveloped in my own mind that she actually scared me when she said good morning.

"You must be thinking on something hard if you didn't even hear me coming down the stairs. You okay?" One thing that I love about Amelia is that she always said what she was thinking and her mind was broadcasting worry about me being so preoccupied so I pulled up my shields as best as I could.

"I'm actually doing well today. In fact I am cooking us breakfast. It's the least I could do for all you've done. Plus I was hoping that I could talk some things over with you."

"Sure Sookie, you know you can talk to me about anything." So we sat down and ate breakfast while I told her everything I had been thinking. Amelia was attentive while she listened and ate. She would ask questions here and there for clarification on some of the topics, and give advice on others. She was such a loud broadcaster and my shields were so weak that I could help but hear how glad she was that I was growing up and accepting life as it was and that I was finally getting my head out of the clouds.

"I didn't mean to have my head in the clouds Amelia, everything is just so foreign to who and what I've always been. It's not how I grew up." Amelia face feel. "Oh Sookie, that's not what I meant. I was just thinking that I'm glad that you are finally willing to accept who you are, and what your place in the supernatural world is. You have always accepted people for WHO they are, and not judged on WHAT they are, but that's because you didn't know anything about the supernatural world and structure. That's a big step. And everything you've been brought up to believe in, how you believe everything should be is not how things are. Your way of thinking is human thinking, 'head in the clouds' thinking."

She was right. And I knew it. it was just hard to let go of everything my gran had taught me. She was my rock. Some people thought WWJD? (What would Jesus do?) and all I could think was WWGD? (What would gran do?). Amelia stopped and thought for a moment before she continued "You think the people around you are always high handed when all these situations come up. But that's because you don't understand everything involved. You draw supernatural's to you like you draw danger. You get them to work together like nothing I have seen. Maybe that's a gift. But imagine if you could do that and understand the culture? You would be able to assist with making the decision because you would understand what was actually going on from a supernatural's point of view, not human."

And everything Amelia said and her bluntness was why I loved her so much. "Thank you Amelia. Thank you for being such a good friend and being so honest." Amelia smiled, go up and came gave me a hug. "Any time girl you know that."

We sat there for another hour or so discussing all of the possibilities of what I was looking to do. She really helped me work through some of the kinks, and came up with some interesting things that may come from what I was looking to do. After ironing everything out we got up and embraced each other as friends and sisters when Amelia said "I'm going to clean up breakfast and then head over to Tray's. Ill pry end up staying the night, so don't count me in for dinner. With all you have going on I may be spending more time over there." I smiled with sadness and said "Tell Tray that I hope he is feeling better, and give him a hug for me." Amelia knew that smile of mine and said "Will do. You have a lot to get done today, so get going."

After my revelations from the morning I knew that Amelia was right and I had to get my but in gear. No more pitiful Sookie. I am a Stackhouse damn it, I better start acting like one. Many of the things that I wanted to do would have to wait until later, but I could start with what was in front of me. Maybe starting with making grans home, my home. Although my home had been in the family for over 150 years I had always considered it gran's home, even though after her death she had left it for me I had in the past found it difficult to change anything about it. I decided that if I was going to face life head on, that today I am would start to make it mine.

"Hey Amelia, I was wondering if I could run something by you before you leave." I looked over to her as she finished drying the last dish. "Sure, what's on the brain of yours?" Amelia always had a way of making me feel what I thought and felt held water. She never made me feel like a county cousin, no matter how differently we may have been raised. "What do you think about me maybe making some changes around the house? I have a little money saved up, so I was thinking about doing some updates, maybe do some painting, clearing out the attic… you know sprucing it up a bit?"

Amelia gave a small smile, and broadcast loudly how happy was for me to stop making this a tomb to my gran and start making it my home, but she said "I think that is a wonderful idea, and you could always keep some of your grans things around… you know so that she is still remembered." I knew that I could always count on Amelia to give me the truth, even when it touched on sore spots. "Thanks. I really like that idea." We finished up and the kitchen when Amelia said "Let me know how everything goes. I may be staying at Tray's but I'm only a phone call away." Amelia was really the best friend a girl could have. "I will, and thanks again for everything."

For so long I had taken after Scarlet with the whole "I can't think about that right now. If I do, I'll go crazy. I'll think about that tomorrow", that I had to prepare for the new Sookie. The Sookie who embraces who and what she is and faces life. And I am ready.

I guess tomorrow finally became today.

AN: If anyone has read this please know that I hoped you liked it. If there is some genuine interest I will post another chapter the following week. I'm new at this, so it will take me a little time to write the next chapter :)