372A/N: i own nothing but what they say... which is dumb sometimes :D
Hello and welcome to Moony and Padfoot's Advice Column!
Question 1 from comes from Beyond'sXBloodyXLawliet
Any good pranks for Slytherins?
Moony-…so to use against Slytherins…?
Padfoot- Duh Moons, no one likes Slytherin jerks. Not even Slytherin jerks!
Moony- That doesn't make sense *mumbles incoherently* I personally don't recommend pranks so maybe I should call the "expert" if I will. *leaves*
Padfoot- Well um while Moony's gone I could tell you some good ones…One thing me and Prongs did back in the day was sneak into their common room and cover all their Slytherin stuff with Gryffindor…or you can slip some love potion into one of their drinks just make sure that it's Snape who they fall in love with and it'll be fun and-
*James enters the room*
Prongs- You called?
Padfoot- Don't get cocky I didn't call you Moony did!
Prongs- Fine whatever what do you want I was about to conquer Lily with the lovely mantra I made.
Padfoot- That horrible thing? And combined with your terrible singing? Yup you'll conquer her alright.
Prongs-*glares at Padfoot* So? Why am I here?
Padfoot- Can't you read ^
Prongs- *ignores Padfoot* Moony?
Moony- We need pranks for Slytherins?
Prongs-*taps chin in thought*Did you tell them the one about the Gryffindor stuff?
Padfoot- Yup
Prongs- Love potion?
Padfoot- Yup
Prongs- Dungbombs set high above their table to be released when Dumbledore begins talking?
Padfoot- Uh no…
Prongs- Taping signs permanently on their back saying to 'Kick Me?'
Padfoot- No…
Prongs- Spreading used condoms on Snape's and Lucius's beds then spreading rumors about them being together?
Padfoot- No-wait when did we do that?
Prongs- We haven't yet it's on my Prank List *continues reading off of list*
Dye their hair red and gold, poison their food with laxative, shut them in the dungeons with no escape, Kill-
Moony- Okay Prongs! I think we've had enough they only seem to be getting worse. And don't you dare finish your sentence!
Prongs-*shrugs * Fine- bye mutts! Prongs is out PEACE!
Moony- Anyways thank you for the first question *hands you a bag of unicorn turds*Padfoot?
Padfoot-*comes out from sulking in corner*It's just not fair! Prongs had more ideas than me!
Moony- Well he is the leader…
Padfoot-That isn't helping Moony.
Moony- Oh yeah… sorry…Miss Narrator can you help?
Fine. *hands Sirius a stuffed dog and pats his head*
Padfoot-*sniffles clutching toy dog*Okay I'm good.
Question 2 comes from CyilEib
My teacher's a total ass.
Moony- So, I'm guessing you don't like him.
Padfoot-Moony…is your brain on? Of course she doesn't like her teacher!
And this is what you should do. Introduce that ass to a thumbtack. Problem solved
Moony-I don't think you should-
Padfoot-Moony you have to stop disapproving so much…don't you hate Slughorn?
Moony- Well yes but I wouldn't put a thumbtack on his chair.
Padfoot- Course not with an ass like that he wouldn't feel it.
Moony- *sighs* Okay I guess you could…I don't know draw an ugly doodle of him on his chalkboard or something…
Padfoot-…WEAK!
Moony- Shut up! *blushes*
Moving on *hands CyilEib a bag of thumbtacks*…
Question 3 comes from MrMissMrsRandom
My guyfriend is completely dense to my subtle tries at telling him I like him.
Padfoot- Welcome to my world…
Moony- What?
Padfoot-What?
Moony- …Okay maybe you should try telling him you like him upfront you know instead of hiding behind a certain antlered best friend just because you haven't got the balls to tell someone how you actually feel.
Padfoot- Ouch Moony.
Moony- *shrugs* I'm just saying.
Padfoot- Are you trying to tell me something?
Moony-*sarcastic voice* Nooo.
Padfoot- Oh okay! *smiles oblivious to sarcasm*
Moony- *sighs again* Any advice for the MrMiss?
Padfoot- Yeah if you're a guy then maybe he's straight and if you're a girl maybe he's gay. I had to say both of those options because frankly you're name confuses me!
Moony- I'm pretty sure it's a girl.
Padfoot-I bet it's a boy for 6 of your Sugar Quills!
Moony- You're on. Winner gets gloating rights for the rest of the week!
Padfoot- Deal!
Guys you're supposed to be answering the question!
Padfoot- We did either they play for the other team or they're oblivious!
-_-…Question 4 comes from Prongs
Why won't Lily date me?
Padfoot-Isn't it obvious because you're you and you aren't me- Sirius Black the sexiest man in the planet straight women love me gay men love me hell even straight men love me!
Moony-While Sirius basks in his ego I will answer this question that gets asked to us every single day.
-Lily doesn't like your fart jokes James.
- You're still mean to Snape.
-Lily hasn't forgotten the time in first year when you dunked a bucket of water on her head claiming her hair was on fire.
-She trips over your big ego.
Padfoot- *claps* Moony those were excellent reasons! And all of them true.
Moony- Yes well… *blushes again*(Damn Moony is repetitive)
BONUS QUESTION!
From TechNomaNcer28
Lol OMGGGGGG!*dies*
XD! I'll try to think of a question some day!
Moony and Padfoot- o_0
Padfoot- That wasn't a question!
Moony- Should we call an ambulance or something…?
Padfoot- *pushes away dead body with foot* No I don't think that's necessary.
A/N: Yes this disappeared for a while because there was mistakes -_-