Me and my stupid pride

I'm sittin' here, alone.

I'm going through the photographs,

Staring at the phone.

I keep going back over

Things we both said

And I remember the slammin' door,

And all the things that I misread.

So babe if you know everything

Tell me why you couldn't see

That when I left I wanted you to

Chase after me? Yeah

Despite what Quinn said about needing to change she stood with her back pressed against the door again, until she heard the footsteps of him walking away. She breathed a sigh of relief. What was going on with her and Sam was, confusing to say the least. Yes, there was a part of her that stilled loved him, that part was always going to be there try as she might to hide it. Reality was finally setting in. He was getting married, he made a choice to make a commitment to someone else, someone who would didn't run like she did. She slid down the back of the door taking of her shoes and chucking them to the side. She placed her head in her hands and let out a few good sobs, wondering how she got into this mess.

If only there was some way to go back in time she thought lifting up her head and wiping the tears from her eyes. Making the choice to change from her wet clothes she moved to the bathroom peeling them off, what she needed right now was a nice long bath. She set up the bath hoping the minute the warm water made contact with her it'd melt her problems away. Of course it didn't but the warm water against her skin felt nice. She closed her eyes leaning her head back on the tubs wall. She thought of all the previous fights she had with Sam, they'd argue, she'd storm out he'd find her they'd make up. It was a vicious cycle, one they were apparently still living in today.

I said, "Leave," but all I really want is you

To stand outside my window, throwing pebbles, screaming, "I'm in love with you."

Wait there in the pourin' rain,

Come back for more.

And don't you leave,

'cause I know all I need

is on the other side of the door.

"I Hate you! I hate you!" Quinn screamed storming off into the bedroom slamming the door behind her. Sam stood watching as she stormed off slamming the door, they were in there first year of college and he wasn't exactly to sure what he had done. He heard frustrated screaming coming from behind the door, and he was sure she was throwing things around in frustration.

"Quinn.. I.." He said biting his lip, "I'm sorry?" He asked weakly to the door. He couldn't fathom what one earth she going on about considering he didn't call doing anything. He this was just one of Quinn's traits, mood swings, everything was fine this morning and then he came home from class and she was screaming at him like a mad woman. "Just, can we talk about this?" He asked knocking on the door, "I didn't even do anything."

"I didn't even do anything." At those words the door flew open. "You. Didn't. Even. Do. Anything." She said in short breaths. "Are you really that dense?" She asked pacing the floor of the room, as he entered hesitantly. "I saw you!" She said pointing an accusing finger at him. "I saw you with another girl!" The look on his face dropped slightly, and then he did something Quinn was not expecting, he laughed. "I'm glad you find cheating humours Samuel." She said turning his back on marching out of the bedroom.

"Quinn, you're being ridiculous I'm not cheating on you." He said following her into the living room now that his laugh was over. "She's my lab partner." He said simply.

"Right, I'm sure she is. If she was just your lab partner why didn't you tell me?" She crossed her arms over her chest now pacing the living room floor. "What happened to telling each other everything?"

"I didn't tell you because, I didn't think I needed to.. This is school…" He said trying not to roll his eyes at hers. "Oh and because I knew you'd react like this.." He added quickly.

"Oh, you knew I'd react like this?" She said. "Well, then I guess you know what I'm going to do next." She said storming towards the front door. "Find someone else to not tell things too." She said before storming out the front door slamming it hard behind her. Sam just stood there blinking a few times, because he actually didn't see that one coming. "Maybe I will!" He added weakly after the door slammed.

She hated being mad at him, and rationally there was no logical explanation for what just happened aside from she let jealousy get the best of her. She stood outside their apartment door for a few moments trying to collect herself, going over in her head what had just happened. Sam was a good guy, she didn't need to be jumping down his throat all the time over the littlest things. Sometimes she wondered how he even put up with her. She knocked on the door, realizing it locked behind her and she'd left her key inside.

Sam waited knowing she wouldn't stay out their forever… She couldn't stay out there forever, and just went he was about to go out and find where she had ran off to their was a knocking on the door. He opened it slowly letting her be the one to talk first. "I'm sorry." She said instantly. " Can I come back?" He smiled wrapping his arms around her, because he hated fighting with her. "I'm sorry too."

And I scream out the window,

"I can't even look at you, I don't need you,"

But I do, I do, I do.

I say, "There's nothing you can say

To make this right again, I mean it,

I mean it"

What I mean is

Getting out of the tub she realized she needed to stop reminiscing in the past and move on. She was doing such a good job and finding who she was, that was why she'd left in the first place. Now all those years were erased, and all it took was one blonde boy. She'd accept that Sam Evans was a part of her life but he wasn't hers anymore. She'd lost her chance, and now even with what he was offering she couldn't do that, she couldn't ruin it for someone else just because she wanted him.

Telling him to go was the right thing, she thought as she toweled off changing into sweats and a tee-shirt. She felt like she'd just gone through the worse break up ever, and all she wanted to do was curl up in her blankets and go to sleep.

Being that it was cold that night she went to her closet to pull out a spare blanket, while she was yanking it down a shoebox fell down with it. She was puzzled by the box for a moment, she couldn't figure out why on earth she'd keep it up there, and picking it up it felt heavier then shoes. Curious she removed the lid, and upon seeing the contents of the box she instantly wished she didn't. Inside that box was every single note Sam had ever written her, starting from high school to the present. A few pictures were mixed in as well and she wondered why she even kept the thing. A few notes were still sealed, from after she left. She couldn't bring herself to open them, but now they were almost calling to her… So much for being over Sam she thought as she opened the first one.

I said, "Leave," but baby all I want is you

To stand outside my window, throwing pebbles, screaming, "I'm in love with you."

Wait there in the pourin' rain,

Come back for more.

And don't you leave,

'cause I know all I need

is on the other side of the door.

Dear Quinn,

Letter six.

I know you've sent back the first five, that's your choice… but it's my choice to keep writing these. You didn't have to leave, you could have just said no. I wanted to be with you, I want to be with you. I know you need to find yourself, who you are and all that… but New York's a pretty big place, please don't lose who you are… Please don't forget the part of you that said you'd always love me. I can't move on from you… I just can' forget everything that happened between us. I'll never be able to love someone the way I love you. You were the one thing I could always count on; my one sure thing, if you will. It's really hard to live without you… I know there's that stupid saying, if you love something set it free, and if it's meant to be it'll come back to you…. Or something… Please come back to me.. I miss you.

Love Always,


After reading the letter, she wasn't sure if she could continue on with the rest of them. There were quite a few more unread. She figured they'd all be similar in form, so instead she picked up the most recent, it was dated a few years back but it was the one she got from him. She could almost remember the day she got it, and although she never opened the letters how sad she'd been over the next few weeks when no more came.

Dear Quinn,

My last letter.

I don't know how many of these I've actually written, I'd like to think you've read each one… and I want you to know that I think I've met someone. I know I said I could wait for you forever, but I can't live in the past forever.. Finn says it's not healthy to keep holding on to a relationship you've clearly ended… I want….I want…. I need you to tell me that it's over… or that there is still a chance… I can't move on if I know that there is still a chance for us.. Please Quinn, please write me back. You ignore me emails, my texts, my calls, please just write me back… Send me a smoke signal anything, please… I love you… I'll always love you, but I can't keep holding on to this… I want to… but it's not right… If you don't write back, I'll take that as you've moved on… just know I'll never stop loving you… but I'm going to do the same.

I'll always love you,


With your face, and your beautiful eyes

And the conversation

With the little white lies.

And the faded picture

Of a beautiful night

You carried me from your car

up the stairs

Reading and rereading all the letters, she realized she'd made a mistake, if only she would have read the letters earlier. She laughed to herself as she got her jacket, sleeping was clearly out of the question now.

Letters in hand somehow she found herself knocking on Sam's door. She didn't care that coming here she took back everything she previously said, everything that finally got him to leave her alone, she was ruining standing there. He opened the door with a confused expression on his face, she'd just told him goodbye and now was standing at his doorstep, of course he'd wanted this but he never expected it.

"I just read all your letters…" She said holding them out to him, "I'm sorry I never wrote you back, and that I didn't read them then… I couldn't… but.. I need you Sam." She said dropping the letters and throwing her arms around his neck. "I'm so sorry." She rested her head against his shirt, and could feel his arms tighten around her waist. "You don't need to be sorry. We can still figure this out." He told her as he calmingly ran his fingers through her hair.

And I broke down cryin'

Was she worth this mess?

After everything and that little black dress

After everything I must confess,

I need you

I know it's been a while since I've updated this…. Hehe…. The next chapters kind of already written, well halfway written and hopefully this story will be done soon.. yep.