Robert Jameson
and the
Seven Amulets
by T. S. Wolff
This is a work of fan fiction. I do not own any of the Harry Potter Characters. I only own the characters here that are of my own creation (see Professor Carroway, Robert Jameson, etc.). Please enjoy!
1
IN WHICH there is a Conference of Wizarding Teachers and our Hero is introduced
The Conference of Wizarding Teachers began at noon on the dot. From across the world, teachers of all sizes, shapes and magical subjects piled into the Conference Room in the United States. There was tiny Professor Flitwick, who stood upon a pile of books so he was seen above his desk; Professor Carroway of Muggle Studies in the US who taught his students to play soccer, baseball and boxing, along with numerous things about electricity; Madame Maxime, who was so gigantic you could spot her a half-mile away; Karkaroff of Durmstrang in Russia, who made himself known by entering the room with a display of fire rushing behind him in spirals, which he ate once he was seated; and even Professor Binns, the old ghost who taught History of Magic in Britain even after death.
The Conference of Wizarding Teachers took place once every hundred years, each time at a different school and with different teachers (excepting, of course, Professor Binns...and there was that time when Nicholas Flamel took up a teaching job...).
The Headmasters stood at the front, Madame Maxime, Karkaroff, Professor Laron (Headmaster of the US school), Professor Lamaka of Jamaica, Princona from Australia, and McGonnagal, strict Headmistress of Hogwarts in Britain. They were going to make the opening speeches. The schedule for the day was this:
Laron's speech
McGonnagal's speech
Lamaka's speech
Princona's speech
Karkaroff's speech
Maxime's speech
and finally...
Chat room of teachers (Where all teachers and Headmasters mingled for five hours)
Laron's speech began the day. He cleared his throat and began to, well, speak.
"Today is the day, my friends. It has been many centuries since the United States has had the honor of hosting this famed Conference. And I haven't been alive for centuries, so this is my first time at one of these meetings, as I'm sure it is for nearly everybody else here. So, I must congratulate Professor Binns, who has been through nearly nine of these Conferences, and Lamaka, who is one of the few that live over a hundred years. She is now celebrating her one hundred and second birthday. Let's all do a round of Happy Birthday for Lamaka, shall we?" The teachers were happy to oblige, though by now they thought that Laron was a bit peculiar, to say the very least. "And now, let this meaningless mumbo-jumbo (no, not the song, my speech) cease. I'm handing it over to...PROFESSOR MCGONNAGAL!" There was an enormous round of applause from Professors Binns (History of Magic), Flitwick (Charms), Sprout (Herbology), Slughorn (Potions), Monn (Defense Against the Dark Arts), Hagrid (Care of Magical Creatures), Cantoni (Muggle Magic), Laura (Transfiguration), Trelawney (Divination), Monnto (Muggle Studies), Anthropox (Ancient Runes), Itini (Astronomy/Astrology) and Hooch (Flying), who all taught at Hogwarts.
"Well," began Professor McGonnagal, "Thank you for that round of applause. I shall let you other teachers in on a little secret: Six of the teachers this year at our school are new. I therefore forfeit my speech, and invite the new teachers to have speeches instead of mine, for mine was extraordinarily long."
The Headmasters glanced at each other in surprise. This had never happened before!
So, the schedule was changed to:
Laron's Speech
Cantoni's Speech
Laura's Speech
Monn's Speech
Monnto's Speech
Itini's Speech
Anthropox's Speech
(Lamaka had to leave early, assuming this would take a while and he would have to get back to his people, so his speech was canceled)
Princona's Speech
Karkaroff's Speech
Maxime's Speech
and Chat Room of Teachers.
Suddenly, all the lights turned dim. Cantoni was no longer in the crowd. "Apparating. Cheap trick," muttered Karkaroff
"I do not no how to Apparate," came a deep, booming voice with a peculiar accent. "The mind makes you not believe, the mind makes you think there is a magical explanation, but in truth I do not know any magic. This is, in fact, why I accepted the job at Hogwarts." There was a puff of multicolored smoke in the center of the room, and from it emerged Cantini. "Cantini the Amazing," he announced. "That is my name. I was hired by Hogwarts because I am a magician, but do not know real magic. I am here to teach Muggle Magic! They call it tricks. I call it illusions. Nobody can explain it. Except the perceptive eye."
There was a burst of applause.
"I came to Hogwarts," continued Cantini, conjuring in midair an umbrella which he turned into a bird, "on a deal. I teach...they teach. I teach Muggle Magic to the students...and the teachers teach real magic to me. I hope students shall enjoy my class. I hope YOU have enjoyed my speech." The bird flew away and halfway out the door became an umbrella once again, hitting someone on the head. Cantini was gone in a second puff of smoke.
Laura walked to the center of the room, transformed into a she-leopard, and promptly transformed back. "My name is Laura, and I shall be teaching Transfiguration at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. I am an Animagi, the new head of Ravenclaw House and I support the Tornadoes. I am a big fan of Quidditch and love wizard chess. I have an amazing, fun curriculum planned, and I hope all Hogwarts students will enjoy it." Laura bowed and sat back down.
Monn walked up to the center of the room and pressed his hands together. "My name is Monn. But my talkative brother will tell you all there is to know about me, so I needn't say anything." He walked back to his seat.
Monnto jogged up happily and announced, "I'm Monnto, and I'm the brother of Monn, who's head of Slytherin and teaches Defense Against the Dark Arts. He's demanding and stern, but I like him because he's my brother. I'm gonna teach Muggle Studies, and I'm sure it'll be fun fun fun!" Monnto grinned as he leaped back into his seat.
Itini walked up, took out a telescope, looked out the window, gave a gasp and walked back.
Finally it was Anthropox's turn. He had a very intriguing speech, and I'm sure you would've liked it if he hadn't said it in an ancient foreign language. And I needn't tell you about the rest of the speeches, for they are not of great importance to the story. So, let us finally, as promised, enter the room of our hero for the first time in the series...
Deep inside a forest in Britain, there is a fountain. To the left of the fountain, there is a path. If you journey down the path, you find a crossroads. Turn to the right, and you will come across a house. Inside that house, there is a staircase, and up that staircase, there is a room. That room is the room of a hero, and that hero's diary is hidden under the WELCOME mat in front of the room. Let's take a peek inside, shall we?
The Diary of Robert Jameson
Day One
Today, I bought some shoes at Pet Mart. Here's how it happened:
My cat was coughing up hairballs, so Mom made the assumption that she was hungry. We were out of pet food, so we drove to Pet Mart, where we bought some cat food. I was having a boring time, wishing we could get something for me, and suddenly I saw an entire shelf of shoes. Man, I needed new shoes. So I convinced Mom to buy me some. But then I thought of something: That shelf didn't have shoes before! It had dog food! Well, maybe it was just an illusion...
I'll try to update ASAP. Please review!
-T. S. Wolff