Title:Coffee Is For Closers Only
Rating: R for future chapters, and Santana's foul mouth.
Spoilers: Anything up to "Blame It On The Alcohol" although I doubt I make any specific references. Basically if you weren't aware before that Finn and Quinn dated, you're probably not fit for real life.
Summary:The employees at the Lima Bean are not at all impressed with the new hire. Well, save for the curiosity of a few and the wandering eyes of a couple others. And the Glengarry Glen Ross quotes have virtually nothing to do with this. It's a coffee shop, not a real estate office, FYI.
As she made her way up the sidewalk, Quinn Fabray could already hear the banging and shouting coming from inside the busy establishment. The Lima Bean was a fairly popular spot on any given day, but a warm Saturday in April meant Spring had finally arrived and she could reasonably expect this crowd for the next three or four months.
Lucky me, she thought ruefully. She pushed through the glass doors of the bustling coffee shop, and caught the eye of the girl standing behind the counter with an incredibly fake smile plastered on her lips, and an equally as sickeningly sweet lilt in her voice. Quinn gave her a sympathetic nod in greeting before stepping into the backroom to hang her stuff.
She could hear the snarky voice of her boss, John, as she approached the saloon-style doors which did a surprisingly useless job at guarding the back room. One of the doors hung on its last hinge, and Quinn was almost certain one of these days it was just going to fall off.
"What are you asking me, Finn? Spit it out," bellowed her boss, a shorter man with horn-rimmed glasses, which Quinn hilariously attributed to Lisa Loeb (John would tell her to shut her "dirty whore-mouth" if he heard that), who was always ready with a well-timed barb.
"Did you decide on... well, you know how I gave you the resume of my friend, I was just won-wondering if you had made any deci... progress with her application?" As Quinn checked the schedule (if only to look like she had something to do back there), she used the stapled papers to hide her broadening grin and barely concealed laughter. Finn was always a bumbling idiot; some things never changed.
"Oh, you mean Rachel?" Quinn's ears perked, and she would have dropped the schedule if she hadn't had years of practice in recovering from such unfortunate missteps.
"Yeah, I interviewed her a couple of days ago. I gave her the job." Finn whooped with excitement, but then obviously remembered himself and thanked John for the consideration. That was just as awkward.
"Rachel Berry?" exclaimed a voice behind Quinn, and the three others turned to look at the newcomer. "Are you fucking kidding me? I see her three times a week already at school, why the fuck does she have to work here too?"
"Santana, why are you such a hateful bitch?" Finn returned angrily. The Latina didn't even flinch.
"I don't know, Finnocence. Why are you such an awkward Puberty PSA?" He stepped forward towards Santana, to do what Quinn was sure he hadn't decided, but then obviously thought better of it. It ended up looking like an abortive run, which resulted in him tripping over air and falling lamely back into place. Santana and Quinn couldn't stop the laugh that issued forth. Quinn at least had the decency to try and hide it.
"God, you know this girl too?" John interjected.
"She's in our Glee club," Quinn finally responded.
"Christ... Is she gay too? Because something tells me I'm going to have some weird hetero-affirmative action problem soon."
"She's not gay," Finn and Quinn both hastily replied. They exchanged a glare, broken first by Finn who seemed to have lost any associable masculinity in favour of the women he worked with.
"Anyway, Santana you need to get back on the flo—"
"I swear to fucking Christ on crutches that if she gives me even one damn reason to punch her in that gaping maw she calls her mouth, I'm going to take the opportunity with relish."
"S..." Quinn threatened mildly, completing it with an eye roll.
"Seriously, I'll punch her. I won't even be able to stop myself," Santana continued. "It'll be like, 'oops, sorry Treasure Trail, your fucking beakgot in the way of my Johnny Cage uppercut.' And she'll be all—"
"Fuck, I heard Berry's going to be working here?" came a fifth voice.
"Kurt, lay off!" Kurt stared back at Finn with a look of utter confusion and innocence, but the smirk he sent Quinn's way told her he knew exactly what he had said.
"Does anyone even work here anymore? Get on the floor. Jesus!" John finally stood and began to physically usher them out of the back room. "You too, Quinn. You were on five minutes ago, and now you're late."
"I was totally on time, old man!" she threw over her shoulder, before she tightened her apron around her waist and walked behind the counter.
"This seriously blows," Santana groaned. "I thought we were finally rid of her now that it's summer." Santana leaned against the counter facing out to the coffee shop's main room, as Quinn tidied behind her. Kurt was on the bar and looked like he was going to lose it.
"Double, short, breve Americano misto to go," he shouted out into the coffee shop. "For the third time," he muttered under his breath. He turned around to the two girls to undoubtedly rant about the self-indulgent miscreants people liked to romantically call customers when the drink was finally snatched off his bar counter.
"Oh, Luke!" Kurt let out an uneasy, chuckle. The customer, tall and handsome returned his chuckle with a warm smile. "I didn't realize it was your order. Which I suppose I should have, seeing as it's so... specific," he finished lamely, as Luke sent him a wave over his shoulder as he pushed through the front door on his way out. "I love you, call me," Kurt whispered.
Santana and Quinn, having witnessed this scene many times before only snickered to themselves.
"Ooh, Luke, your breve makes me cream! Ooh, Luke, we should totally date and be boy-lovers together!" Santana couldn't help teasing Kurt though, even if she had been recycling material at this point due to the frequency of the act. "Ugh, it's disgusting."
"Excuse me, young lady could I have a tall, dark in a to-go cup?" said a quiet and polite elderly lady now standing at the front counter. Santana immediately plastered on what Quinn would label her 'customer-service outfit' complete with voice-altering and fake smile, the very same she had witnessed as she had come into work that day.
"You sure can, love. Need room for milk or cream?" The woman only nodded, and when Santana turned her back to the lady to pour the coffee her expression fell. Under her breath she whispered to Quinn, "God, don't customers realize sometimes you just want five minutes to yourself?"
Quinn only chuckled, but moved away to make herself useful. There were a ton of dishes, and Quinn suspected she'd be doing the bulk of them. Even being an assistant manager didn't absolve her of the duty, but that was more likely due to her mellowing out since leaving the Cheerios. She didn't feel as up to delegating as she once did.
Finn came out of the men's washroom carrying an empty paper-towel roll, and the full bathroom garbage bag. "Hey, Finn," Quinn called. "You want to take care of these dishes too while you're at it? Not like they're going to clean themselves." Perhaps one or two delegations didn't hurt if it meant getting back at ex-boyfriends in small, mostly harmless ways.
The Saturday crowd had kept the store front fairly busy, but not busy enough that Quinn hadn't immediately known when Rachel Berry had arrived. She wouldn't go so far as to say she felt her presence, but for once it hadn't been her voice that had immediately sounded the alarm of her arrival. Quinn annoyingly had a sixth sense where the brunette was concerned, and she hated to give it credence but it hadn't seemed to fail her these days.
The girl in question had done a near-perfect diva-entrance, save for having to side step a three year old who was making 'rawr' sounds for his dinosaur who, defying the laws of gravity, was jumping from chair to table across the store assisted by the little boy. Rachel couldn't suppress the little smile at the sight, but soon was shifting her gaze behind the counter to spot an employee. Quinn almost ducked out of sight, but realized she was the only one on the floor.
Of course, she internally rolled her eyes.
"Quinn!" Rachel cheerfully greeted. Sobering a bit, she still had a grin on her face when she continued, "I didn't know you worked here."
"Oh, Finn didn't mention that, huh?" Quinn replied lamely. She mentally berated herself for her lack of aloofness.
"Well, I'm not surprised he didn't mention it," Rachel returned coyly. "You look... you really wear that apron."
"Rachel!" Finn hollered, coming out of the back room, "Awesome, you're here! Come into the back, and meet John." Rachel bounced into step beside him without hesitation.
"Later, Quinn," she replied blithely. Quinn was complete taken aback. Had Rachel Berry just been flirting with her?
"Fuck me." Quinn choked down a lump in her throat at the prospect.
"Why are you working here again?" Kurt narrowed his eyes at the singer, giving her a suspicious once-over.
"Like I said, it's important even for a talent like me to have work experience elsewhere. If for no other reason than to have the foundation to play such a character effortlessly, I think working in customer service offers me a plethora of opportunities to really hone my many skills. It isn't expected that I'll need this experience for any practical sense later on, after we've graduated and I without preamble am accepted at Julliard undoubtedly with a full ride." Rachel's eyes had glazed over a bit towards the end, causing Quinn and Kurt to share an eye roll.
"Also, my Dads think it's time that I got a job. My last foray into online retail yielded many exceptional finds for me, but a painfully unfortunate bill for them. I think I owe them $780."
"Jesus, what did you buy?" Kurt gaped at her. Quinn only arched an eyebrow.
"A theatrical film reel of 'The Way We Were' and 'The Prince of Tides'. Despite not currentlyowning a 35mm projector, I think it was a sound investment."
"Uh-huh..." Kurt trailed off, not sure what else to say. The girl was completely bat-shit loco, but at least it wasn't drugs. Then again, she already talked faster than humanly possible, why not get her to fix his clock-radio and clean his bathroom while she was at it.
"Anyway, I'm here to work, Kurt. If you wouldn't mind waiting to speak with me after I've finished my shift. I really abhor the idea of wasting time while I'm getting paid." With that she turned towards the back to grab the dustpan and broom. Quinn and Kurt only stared after her, dumbfounded.
"Good," Santana said, approaching from behind them. "She won't last two days here then. Hummel, come to the back, John is showing us the 'Sassy Gay Friend' skits on YouTube. You have to see the Desdemona one. Fucking priceless!" Kurt practically ran to the back. Santana turned to Quinn before following behind him, "You can stay here, Queerleader. I'm sure the midget-troll would love your brandof company."
Quinn stuck up her middle finger as the Latina retreated into the back room, making grotesque sexual sounds as she went. Quinn glanced back at Rachel as she painstakingly moved the cream-stand to sweep behind it. She was so earnest, Quinn didn't really have the heart to tell her they had a cleaning staff come in every night that did that. When Finn ambled up beside her, she tore away her gaze not wanting the inevitable line of question getting caught staring would elicit. He may be dumb as rocks, but Finn wasn't completely unobservant.
"She's going to love it here, don't you think Quinn?" Quinn scoffed.
"Oh yeah, Rachel and The Lima Bean were completely meant to be. One true pairing, and all that junk."
"Hey, 'Rubyfruit Jungle'," John shouted to her from the back room. "Come to the back, I want to go over next week's schedule with you."
"Yeah, yeah, I'm coming 'Naked Lunch'. Keep your panties on," she countered as she made her way into the back room. Finn wanted to ask her what 'Rubyfruit Jungle' meant but he was sure it wouldn't be any clearer with an explanation. Nothing about Quinn and John's interactions ever were. He was glad Rachel worked there now; at least she made sense.
END PART 1