Title: Mail Call
Author: T'PeeJ
Category: Humor/Crossover (sort of)
Keywords: McKay
Spoilers: This is pre-SG:A Rising part 1 by a smidge
Disclaimer: Not mine, making no money off of this.
This story is for sethor

McKay had never been so happy when he got the word from the Pentagon that he was leaving Russia and was going some place else to work on something else. Right before he got on the plane to fly out of Russia, he had received a packet from the U.S. Government about his new assignment. He was going to Antarctic.

Rodney had been wondering who the hell he had pissed off now. 'Russia to Antarctic, way to go Boy Wonder!' thought the Doctor. Until he read all the way through the packet, he really wondered who he pissed off.

He had been picked as part of a multi national government program to work on something that had been found by the Beautiful Samantha Carter and her ragtag boy toys.

He was on his way down there now.

Dr. Rodney McKay sat down in the Cafeteria trying to finish up on some research and get some food in him. He had been in Antarctic for a week now. Boy was this place jumping. Though he hadn't seen Samantha, but Rodney had seen one of her toys, Dr. Daniel Jackson. Rodney wanted to ask if Sam was going to come down?

As Rodney worked and ate, a Marine went by and put some mail down on the table next to Rodney. The Doctor knew it was there and it would stay there until he finished.

Dr. Carson Beckett came over and sat down at the same table as Rodney. The Canadian knew he was there, but just kept working.

"Umm, Rodney," said Dr. Beckett.

"What?" snapped McKay.

"Your mail is smoking?" said Beckett.

McKay looked at the object for the first time. Looking back up at Beckett, he said "Thank you Carson." Rodney gathered up his stuff, food, grabbed the envelope and walked out of the room. Getting back to his lab, Rodney set everything down and really looked at the envelope.

From the Offices of Wolfram and Hart
666 Le coeur de l'enfer
Toronto, Ontario

'Oh what do they want now?' thought Rodney as he opened the envelope.

Dear Doctor McKay,
We have heard of your good fortune. We are glad to know that you are back to a job that you liked. We also wish to remind you that you still have a job to fulfill for us. Now, we at Wolfram and Hart giveth and we can taketh away too.

When you go on to your next part of the work you are doing, we expect you to do your work for us. We didn't make you the smartest man on the planet just for the fun of it. You knew that when we did it, we wanted a foot hold in all places.

All of our offices are doing double time since our Los Angles office has been taken over by new management ( a bunch of do gooders) and as they try to fix all the woes in the world, you must get us another foothold somewhere else.

"You have to be kidding?" said Rodney out loud.

"What is the matter Rodney?" asked Dr. Elizabeth Weir as she walked into Rodney's lab. She looked concerned.

Rodney jumped when she spoke. He hadn't even heard her come into the lab. "Oh it's nothing. Just a letter from home. Personal stuff." He tried to smile at Elizabeth. Now what the hell was he going to do?

"Well if you need to talk to someone about," said Dr. Weir. "Come and see me and we'll see what we can do to help you."

"Thanks," said Rodney, sitting down heavily on the stool next to him. 'What the hell am I going to do for you guys in Antarctic?' thought Rodney.

Opening the letter again,

We have seen you going further then you think Doctor McKay. Yes, there isn't anything for us in Antarctic, but once you get to the next step in the plans, you will be the Wolfram and Hart representative in the Pegasus galaxy.

"Whoa wait!" said Rodney. "How the hell do you know if we are going to find the way to the Pegasus galaxy?"

He opened the letter back up,

Because Doctor McKay, we are Wolfram and Hart. We know everything. You are going to be our evil Canadian connection in the Pegasus galaxy.

"First off," said Rodney. "Don't answer my questions. You're a letter. Second: are you nuts? There is nothing EVIL about Canada. No one has a problem with Canada. No one has ever declared war with Canada. Third: No one but a couple of friends call me THE EVIL CANADIAN and you people aren't one of them. So don't use it again." Rodney took a deep breath and looked at the letter again.

Doctor McKay, please stop talking out loud. Someone in Antarctic will hear you and take you off this project and then there goes our foothold in the Pegasus Galaxy.

Stop panicking, please. If you don't go along with our plans, we will send someone down there to remove all the stuff out of your head. Do you really want that Doctor?

Rodney was so screwed. He had been a small, stupid child. His parents had made a deal with this law firm that fixed Rodney with his brain. He wasn't slow or stupid anymore. He was the smartest person on the planet. Somewhere along the line, Rodney had thought he could just forget about the deal that his parents had made with them. If he had been old enough, he wouldn't have made the deal, but he would still be slow and stupid, so he was stuck.

"All right," said Rodney, "I'll get you a foothold in the Pegasus Galaxy, if we ever figure out how to make anything work here," looking down at the letter again.