Thoughts of Lizzie and Darcy
"I shall never see him again."
It was my only thought after… Mr. Darcy left the inn. "Oh, foolish Lydia! How could she run away with Wickham?"
Now there were no chances for me…for my sisters' future happiness.
As we drove out of Lambton, I could not hold back my tears, but my aunt and uncle did not notice I hoped. Then I noticed that the handkerchief I was sitting with was not my own but Mr. Darcys'!
Two evenings later, my dear uncle, aunt and I were back at Longbourn and everything seemed so hopeless.
My father was in London, and my uncle would join him in London in a day's time.
"Oh, if only… Oh, foolish Lydia!"
She had ruined Janes, Kitty's, Marys and my chances for our future happiness and mostly Janes and my chances. If only…No there was no chance that Mr. Darcy or even Mr. Bingley would associate with a family with a fallen daughter, and especially not Mr. Darcy since I knew his history with Mr. Wickham.
That night I cried myself to sleep, my only companion that night was Mr. Darcy's handkerchief, and his letter was in my drawer. Nobody thank god knew of my meetings with Mr. Darcy while at Lambton and Derbyshire, and nobody ever would unless I saw him again by chance. The day at Pemberley had been the most perfect of my life, having "him" by my side and his lovely sister Georgianna, who I almost saw as my sister, and no there was no hope, no remote chance for seeing either of them again!
In London, at the Darcy town house;
Fitzwilliam Darcy was sitting at his desk in his office, thinking about the day, he had found Miss Lydia Bennet and Wickham, and he of course had admitted to that he never would marry Lydia Bennet, since she had no dowry and no name and no title.
How could Elizabeth be related to flirtatious and silly Lydia Bennet? How could Miss Jane and Elizabeth be sisters to her, that… that…flirt? She had no thoughts for family, honour and name, and she was sure that she and Wickham would marry at some point, when did not matter!
It mattered to him, because if he got Wickham married to Lydia the harm would be smaller and if the rumour could be lessen, then maybe he could have another chance of winning Elizabeth's heart! He too had spoken with Charles Bingley and told him everything and got the scolding he had known he was in for, and then Bingley had sat off from London, the very same afternoon for Hertfordshire, he would be there by mid-afternoon the next day! He hoped Charles still had a chance for Miss Jane's heart and his own happiness.
He himself had to talk with Mr. Bennet and Mr. Gardiner tomorrow, and tell that he had found Lydia, and it was his fault and he would pay everything. He only hoped that Elizabeth and he still had a chance for future happiness together!
"How could my beautiful, witty Elizabeth be related to that silly girl? She and Miss Jane had to be from another marriage or something. Elizabeth…Lizzie… my Lizzie."
The thoughts which went through his head got him to continue his line of thoughts of Elizabeth and hopefully their future together.
In Meryton, at Longbourn;
It had been a week since I had returned from Lambton and Derbyshire. Papa was back, and he and uncle had at last found Lydia and Wickham and my uncle had insisted that she married from there, which was done, before within four days later, Lydia and Wickham was here.
I could not even produce a smile, not even for that they had been found, we heard that Mr. Wickham suddenly had enough money to take care of his finances and a bit left to settle on Lydia. I seriously doubted that my uncle had paid all of the expenses and wondered if…No, that was impossible!
Lydia and Wickham was to stay at Longbourn for around five days, and I avoided them completely, but not completely since I had to hear a lector from Lydia about married life together with Jane, Mary and Kitty. In the days after, they had arrived before Lydia told that Mr. Darcy had been at their wedding! I got goose bumps all over and said shocked: "Mr. Darcy? Mr. Darcy was at your wedding?"
Lydia replied: "Yes, he was the one who discovered us. He paid for Wickham's commission and everything. Do not say a word; he made me promise not to tell!" I said still shocked: "Mr. Darcy?" Lydia said: "Stop it Lizzie! You are not as high and mighty as Mr. Darcy sometimes."
When they finally were gone, before a carriage drove up to Longbourn and out came Mr. Charles Bingley, and he asked to talk privately with my older sister. Then they re-emerged from the sitting room, they were announcing their engagement. I was happy for Jane that she finally got her fairy-tale ending, but I was destined to be an old maid to look after my nieces and nephews. My heart arched for the smile of a certain gentleman from Derbyshire.
The same evening as Charles stayed for dinner, I asked: "Did you see Mr. Darcy before you left town, Mr. Bingley?"
Charles Bingley said: "Yes, I did, Miss Elizabeth. He had some business which was very important, he had to finish but he should be here within the next forty-eight hours. He was good when I left town a few days ago." I had to take a shallow breath to control my beating heart.
I said: "How about his sister, Miss Georgianna, was she in town too?"
Charles Bingley replied: "No, she stayed at Pemberley for the autumn since she got some sort of cold after you and your uncle and aunt left Derbyshire." He looked at me with a reassuring smile.
Jane was happily engaged to Charles Bingley at long last, I wondered how much his friend had told him. Now it was I who was reduced to the destiny of being an old maid and experience the most acute kind of caprice and despair.
Two mornings later, I could not sleep, so I dressed and began taking my morning walk, it was a little before dawn. I walked around the pond, and as I got back, Jane met me in the back garden and she said: "Lizzie, Mr. Darcy is here, and he wants to talk to you, privately."
My breath became shallow and asked: "Do I look decent?"
Jane said: "Give me your coat and hat…and gloves. That should do it. Your hair is beautiful when you have it down like that." and then she pushed me into the hall, and I walked quickly into the sitting room and here I found my father engaging Mr. Darcy in funny stories, and he looked as though he enjoyed it. I asked: "Papa, shall I come back later?"
Papa rose and said: "No, do come in, Lizzie. I was just entertaining while waiting for you."
I whispered to him as he exited the room: "Thank you, Papa."
The door closed behind my father and I made a curtsy and said: "Mr. Darcy."
Mr. Darcy made a formal bow and said: "I hope the rest of your family is in good health, Miss Elizabeth?"
I replied: "Yes…they are all in excellent health. I hope your business was concluded to your satisfaction, Mr. Darcy?"
Mr. Darcy replied with a smile: "Yes, they did. It was only some petty details, they could not get correct."
"Oh, those dimples and that smile! He was almost too good to be true!"
I said and swallowed: "I am glad. How was your sister as you left for town? Mr. Bingley told that she was sick and took to her bed shortly after my uncle and my company left Derbyshire."
Mr. Darcy replied: "She had a light cold, but should be on her feet soon. She expressed a wish to write to you…if you would allow her to write you, of course."
I smiled and said: "She has my blessing for writing all she wants. She is a wonderful young lady; you have done a good job with her, as her brother and with no mother for guidance."
Mr. Darcy answered: "Thank you, Miss Elizabeth."
I said: "I believe it is I who should thank you, Mr. Darcy. All you have done for Lydia, and I suspect for Jane also, it is I who should be making amends."
Mr. Darcy said: "Surely…surely you must know it was all for you. You are too generous to trifle with me, if you feelings are still what they were in April, tell me so at once, my wishes and affections have not changed! But one word from you will silence me forever."
I smiled and felt a starburst of energy flow through me and I said: "My feelings…My feelings are so different from what they were in April. I would say the opposite now… Your hands are cold."
He nodded and I smiled. We discussed all what had happened in the past and I said: "All the hurtful things I said, I am so ashamed. Those words were based on false stories and I apologies for every untrue accusations I made that day."
Mr. Darcy said: "It was not your fault. You were not the first to be trapped inside Wickham's stories. I am only sorry that I did not tell everybody off what he was from the beginning. I only hope that we can let this be in the past and let us have another chance of future happiness."
I smiled and nodded and said: "It is already in the past. I too hope for another chance of future happiness."
Mr. Darcy smiled and asked: "May I talk with your father?" My heart was beating so fast and hard as it never had before as I replied and smiled a true and happy smile: "Yes."
While William was with Papa, I was left in the corridor outside of Papa's office. Suddenly the door opened and William came out and he smiled and I heard Papa say: "Close the door, Elizabeth." I walked into the office and as I closed the door, I kept my eyes on William and then closed the door.
My father and I discussed William and I told him all what William had done for us. The discussion ended with that my father said: "I could not have parted with you, my Lizzie to anyone less worthy." I said: "Thank you, Papa." and hurried out of Papa's office and outside in the garden where I found William pacing the front garden and I ran to him and he turned around and caught me in his arms and swung me around while he laughed happily and out loud! I could see his dimples and he looked so breathtaking when he showed them on his face! I laughed as well. William sat me down on the ground and knelt and asked: "Elizabeth Bennet, will you consent to be spend your life by my side as my friend, my sweetheart, my partner, my lover and my wife?" A smile spread on my face and I replied: "Yes, I will spend my life with you, William! I will be most honored and blessed to be your sweetheart, your partner, your friend, lover and wife!" Then he kissed me and said: "I love you, my Lizzie!" I said: "I love you as well, my William!"
Authors Note; anything recognisable belongs to Miss Jane Austen and the rightful owners.