"You see, I was doing my normal patrols through the castle," Hermione continues, but I cut her off.
"Who did you find in the broom cupboard?" I exclaim.
"Ginny, be patient! I'm telling my story, I'll get to it!" Hermione continues from where she left off, "As I was saying, I was doing all my prefect duties and your brother's, since he can't detach himself from his little skank, and I hear a noise coming from the broom cupboard. So I decided to take a look because, well, when you hear moans coming from a broom cupboard don't you just want to open it up and take a p-"
"Hermione, your such a perv!" I exclaim, shocked and slightly amused.
With a glare, Hermione continues her story, "So I took a peek and it was that slimy git, Draco Malfoy! With some brown-headed girl on her knees in front of him! Needless to say, I slammed the door about two seconds after I opened it. But get this—I think it was LAVENDER!" Hermione shrieks in excitement at her discovery.
I am momentarily taken aback. I mean, how could she just jump to that conclusion? But then I remember how much of a skank Dragon Dung is and I can totally believe it. "What makes you think it was her? Other than the fact that she's a skank," I ask.
"After being in a carriage with her moans for an hour, I'm pretty sure I can recognize it anywhere," Hermione states, crinkling her nose at the memory. This is so true. We spent more than enough time in that carriage today, and I'm pretty sure that even I could have picked out her moan, even though I was trying desperately to ignore it.
"Why was she moaning?" I ask.
"Oh Ginny, you have so much to learn," she mumbles, rolling her eyes then changing to a new topic. "So how are we going to tell Ron?"
"Erm, I don't think Ron will believe us. We've made it pretty clear that we aren't Dra—I mean Lavender's biggest fans. Hell, just think, we're bad mouthing his sweet and not-so-innocent girlfriend," I say sarcastically. It would be great if he believed me, but Dragon Dung just has him wrapped around her little finger. We don't stand a chance unless we find some sort of proof.
"B-but," Hermione whines. I know she hates Dragon Dung as much as I do, probably even more since she has a little crush on my brother (well, at least that's what I think).
"Maybe we should just talk to Harry. He might be able to convince Ron or at least help us trap Lavender in the act," I suggest, trying to make it seem like that's the only reason I want him there.
"Oh Ginny, I'm sure you'd just love an excuse to talk to Harry," she winks at me. I blush, knowing that my crush on Harry is way more obvious than her's on Ron.
"Well, I obviously wouldn't mind it," I say, trying to brush off her comment. "Just like you don't mind that this information could break Ron and Lavender up."
"I don't know what you're talking about, your brother just deserves to know that he is dating a two-timing skank," Hermione snaps. I'll let her wallow in self denial for now, since it's only a matter of time until Ron is back on the market. Then I'm going to make her see her true feelings.
"Sure, sure. So have we decided that we're bringing Harry in on this tomorrow?" I ask in a pleading tone. I'm pretty sure that Harry despises Lavender as much as I do. Even though Ron has no common sense whatsoever, if anyone can talk a tiny bit of it into him, it's Harry. Of course, I'm not entirely selfless in my reasoning for bringing Harry in on this. So what if I get a few moments alone with an extremely gorgeous wizard?
"Alright, your obviously going to mope around all night if I say no, so why not. I'm sure breaking bad news is no problem for the great Harry Potter," Hermione says nonchalantly. I do a little victory dance in my mind so that Hermione doesn't think that I'm even nuttier than she already thinks.
The topic quickly switches from boys to books because this is Hermione I'm talking to. "Yes, I understand that we're only required to read a certain number of books but what's wrong with going above and beyond and mastering the whole charms book?" asks Hermione with a shrug.
"Well, there's nothing wrong unless you plan to be bored in class for the next year," I say. I mean seriously how did she finish all of her summer assignments and have to time to finish the whole charms course?
"Honestly Ginny, if you just buckled down and settled into a routine right after break, you would have been able to actually finish your homework," Hermione drones on. Sometimes I swear she's really my mother spying on me in disguise.
"Forgive me if I had things to do during my holiday," I snap with a roll of my eyes. Normally, I'm okay with the mothering crap but I don't really need her reminding me that I have a big pile of unfinished work sitting at the bottom of my trunk at this very moment. But it's okay, I don't have those classes tomorrow so I'll just work on it then.
"I had plenty of stuff to do over holiday but I had to deal with Muggles during it," she says, giving me a you-know-how-they-are look. "Oh, that reminds me! Over the summer, I was in a Muggle food store with my parents and I was looking for something new to try and I found this amazing green juice!" Hermione exclaims.
"Green juice? Your excited about green juice? What's so good about this juice?" I ask, wondering if Hermione has completely lost it.
"Well, it's only the most amazing drink I've ever had! But I just can't remember the brand name… But you'll have to try it to understand. I only brought two flasks so we'll have to ration it because I won't be able to get more until next break," she warns. She must think pretty highly of this if she's smuggling it in to Hogwarts. I mean, this is the perfect Hermione we're talking about.
"Hermione, there's no alcohol in this, right?" I ask with raised eyebrows.
"Of course not! Really Ginny, you know I don't drink," she whisper-shouts at me all while holding out a flask with both hands and passing it to me as if it were her baby or an injured dog or something. What do I have to lose? So I grab the flask and take a sip. And bloody hell that's the most amazing substance that has ever come in my mouth! It can not be described. It is perfect. It is amazing. I wonder if this is what sex feels like.
"Damn Hermione! Dear Merlin, what were you thinking, only bringing 2 flasks? This is amazing! I might drain this one in about five seconds," I scream and take another sip. Note to self: whenever Hermione offers you a mysterious colored beverage, do not ask question. Just drain the whole bloody flask.
But before I can finish my precious green juice, Hermione grabs the flask from me.
"Nooo," I whine reaching weakly to grab it back. "Please, just one more sip!" I beg her trying to give my best puppy dog face. She just smiles.
"I knew you'd love it… Fine, I'll let you finish this one since there's not much more in it," she says while I greedily grab the flask and drain it completely. Nobody ever messes with Ginny Weasley while she's drinking her green juice or I won't think twice about hexing them. Unless it's Hermione…you shouldn't bite the hand that feeds you…especially if it's feeding you green juice.
"Ginny, chill out I don't have much left and you can't get addicted right now since I won't be able to go get more for a month," says Hermione trying to wrestle the flask back as I desperately tilt my head back, searching for any drop of green deliciousness. When I realize that this Merlin-sent-drink won't be around for months, I think I might cry. That's just how good it is.
"Can I pleeeeaaase have the rest of the juice during dinner tomorrow night?" I beg Hermione. I'm pretty sure she's just as addicted to the juice as I am, but I must look pretty desperate so she agrees. Yes! I fist pump at my victory.
"Well, as much as its fun drinking green colored juice with you during the middle of the night, don't you think that we should probably gets some sleep so we'll be able to learn tomorrow?" Hermione asks with a yawn.
"But I'm no where near tired," I complain.
"Here, just put this on," she says holding up a vile of—well, I'm not sure what. But I made that mental note so I guess I should just put the weird stuff on my skin. It's kind of calming if you get over the terrible smell.
"Ugh, Hermione, what scent is this? It smells like dragon dung," I ask, turning my head away from the vile stuff as I rub it against my skin and crinkle my nose. She starts giggling. "What?" I demand.
"It's just that the scent is lavender," she says in between giggles. And now I'm giggling too because I'm falling asleep and even my subconscious hates lavender.
When I finally get up, it's still pretty early and of course, I still smell like dragon dung. I rush to take a shower before catching up with Harry before breakfast. The sooner we get rid of Dragon Dung, the sooner we can all get back to normal. I check to make sure Hermione is still asleep and I ask a girl in my year to wake her up in a few minutes. I throw some parchment and quills into my bag and go off to search for Harry.
He's sitting at the table staring into his pumpkin juice. It would be an almost perfect morning if only I had stolen the rest of Hermione's green juice. As soon as I slide next to Harry, I see a slightly frantic looking Hermione walking down the Great Hall, straight towards me.
"Crap," I mutter and Harry jumps. I guess he hadn't noticed me sitting right next to him.
Hermione takes a seat across from us, "Ginny, why didn't you wake me! You know the first day is the most important!" she scolds me with a frown. "Oh, hello Harry! Has Ginny told you our news or should I start," asks Hermione, looking back and forth from me to Harry with wide eyes.
He just gives her a confused expression before drinking his pumpkin juice. Hermione takes this as her cue to tell him all about Draco and the supposed Lavender in the broom cupboard. He's so cute while he's listening. Oh crap, I hope he hasn't noticed my staring. Maybe I should just look at Hermione instead.
"So what should we do about Lavender? Do you think Ron would believe us or would he just defend her?" Hermione questions.
Harry gives a sexy, amused crooked smile before saying, "Of course I love you Ginny. Will you be my girlfriend?" WHAT? Staring at him with wide eyes, I realize that that wasn't what he was saying at all. It was all in my head. Wow, what has that green juice done to me?
Looking back at Harry, I hear him say, "Of course he's going to blow up at you. Lavender is like his life. I doubt he'd even listen to me," Harry says looking clearly disappointed.
"But there has to be something we can do," I chime in, trying to forget what my mind just made up.
"Well, you could try to talk to him alone, but just make sure to sound calm and sensible when you do it or else Ron's just gonna yell and defend her without thinking," Harry warns. Calm and sensible? Pfft, well then I definitely can't do it.
Hermione shakes her head saying, "Seriously, does he ever think?"
"He might surprise us," I say doubtfully. Ron isn't exactly a good listener. He'll probably hear the words "Lavender is cheating" and "skank" and then blow completely up.
Then I look up to see Hermione drinking from a flask. "NO!" I exclaim "That's mine! You promised me last night that I could have it!" I pout. I'm pretty sure Harry must think this is a freaky exchange but this is nonmagical-magical juice we're talkin' about. There must be an addictive ingredient in there or something. There is no way normal juice tastes this good.
She hands it over and I do a little dance. Harry looks over with widened eyes. Oh great, now he thinks I'm some sort of freak that goes bananas over colored juice. At least he didn't ask to try it. Then I would have to make a seriously hard decision. Harry or amazing juice?
Oh, thank Merlin he didn't ask.
"Be careful, the owls are delivering mail this morning," Hermione warns me. Who gets mail on the first day of school anyways? Just then the worst possible thing happens. It's so bad it's like I see it in slow motion.
The owl comes swooping down too low and skims across the Gryffindor table. Its claws hit my outstretched hand, the one that's holding the flask containing the awesome juice. The flask goes flying across the table and lands on the floor, the juice spilling all over Harry, Hermione and myself. And then, just to add insult to injury the stupid beast continues to leave a path of destruction until it reaches the person who it's delivering a letter to. Of course it's her owl. Of course that owl belongs to that piece of Dragon Dung.
Hermione's face pales and she must have see my own reddening and my fists clinching because she says, "Ginny, just calm down. You don't wanna do something you're gonna regret. Plus, I'll just bring more after break," Hermione is saying in a calm voice. But all I have eyes for is the skank and her little "Won-Won". Oh, if looks could kill.
Without warning, I launch out of my seat like an angry lion. "ROOOONNN!" I scream, waking all of the half asleep students that have trudged down for breakfast.
"What?" he barks at me as he lazily bends his neck back to look at me as I stand, huffing behind him.
"She!" I screech, stabbing my finger in her face, "is CHEATING ON YOU WITH BLOODY DRACO MALFOY!" I scream for the whole Hall to hear. "Hermione saw the little SKANK with him!"
The Great Hall goes completely silent and I can feel everyone's eyes on us. Great. I'm sure this is a great way to start the year off. Ron looks completely horrified at my accusation and under my fury, a glimmer of fear flashes in his eyes. That's right. I don't care who's skank she is, NO ONE messes with my green juice.
"What? N-no, she would never," Ron splutters, but doesn't looking so sure.
"Of course I wouldn't Won-Won," Lavender coos into his ear with her arm resting on one of his shoulders. Crap.
"How DARE you! We've already talked about this! Lavender is sweet and she would never cheat on me! Why must you continually put her down! What has she ever done to you?" says Ron furiously, getting his courage back now that he has Dragon Dung nibbling on his ear.
"But Ron, I'm not lying, it's true!" I say, frustrated. I can't believe he's taking his skank's word over his sister's. But he just turns, taking Lavender's hand and walks out of the Great Hall. Just as they reach the end of the Hall, Lavender turns her head, looks straight at me with those beady eyes, and sneers. That's right, the sneaky little bitch sneers!
So she wants to play this game? Oh I can play alright. No one messes with Ginny Weasley and gets away with it. No one. But now at least one thing's certain: Lavender Brown is a lying, cheating piece of dragon dung.
A/N: Hi there readers! I'd just like to say thanks for reading. Oh, and also, the green juice is real! I'm not sure what brand it is, sorry, but I've had it before and it's amazing. It was introduced to me by me editor! I love reviews, just sayin'. And I know for a fact that Ginny would love to hear from you guys too. Until the next chapter! See you guys!
-M