Let's get started. A little lo-down before you start reading. This is my first OnePiece fanfic. There is no relationships in this story, maybe the next couple might. This for now is a Zoro/ Luffy Nakamaship, because I like them. Please remember to leave a review before you leave. And to all flamers, you can kiss my fire-retardant ass. Have fun and enjoy!

Title: Fidgeting Monkey

Summary: Monkey D. Luffy's first ever experience with a caffeine high.

The kind elderly bar tender held a hot cup of black liquid and placed it in the tired youth's hands.

Coffee was nothing new to many nineteen-year olds. However, Monkey D. Luffy was not most nineteen- year olds.

"Drink up, boy. I don't bite. This will warm ye' bones."

Luffy peered from under his hat, confusion evident in his face. To him, it smelt strangely invigorating, but very bitter.

"What is that? Is it medicine?" gesturing to the drink in his hands. The man chuckled in response.

"Well, I suppose it is…I thought a traveled person as yer'self would know about coffee. Got it special from South Blue— I'd say it'd put a kick in yer' step in no time, laddie." The bar keep left to wash tables.

Thinking back to when Zoro drank his liquor and how he would seemingly perk up instantaneously; he had assumed the effect on him would be similar.

Luffy brought the cup to his mouth and gulped it down. Three seconds later, he was choking at the burning liquid 'hot, hot, hot, hot!' He also noted that it tasted almost disgustingly bitter than what he had first anticipated.

"Oi, Ossan! What were ya' trying to do to me—that was Bitter! Little warning next time!" Luffy glared as the man busted out laughing, though he did not stop his table washing.

"Aw, the big pirate captain is bein' a baby, eh? You're fine; now, get going on back to yer' ship. You've been gone for a while now. Don't want to worry your crew, yeah?"

Luffy's glare lessened, realizing the man had a point, but he really didn't like being treated as a child.

"Thanks for the coffee, old man." Luffy left a couple of Beli and left.

On the main roadway back home, a tingling jittery sensation ran down Luffy's spine. 'Well, that's odd.'

To tell the truth, the sensation was actually nice, he felt alert, confident, prepared. The further he kept walking the happier he felt.

"This is some medicine, so much better than laughing mushrooms." His senses became hyper-active; he heard the daily conversations between the stall vendors and he smelt the sea air with hints of fish and flowers. Upon arrival at the ship he had decided to jump up to the roof tops to burn energy. Compared to this morning, it was like he actually had sleep!

Finally, he jumped on deck, only Zoro was there, but he was asleep. Apparently, the others went into town for supplies. Leaving Luffy to sit by himself on Thousand-Sunny's head mantle; unfortunately he could not sit still.

'Bored. Bored. Bored…Zoro…" a particularly cruel smile crept over his face.

*cue zee paint and brush*

'Sorry Zoro, this is what'cha get for sleeping on watch duty.' Luffy smirked as he finished up his last little 'artwork' before getting up to the kitchen. Nami always had coffee, meaning there was a supply in the kitchen! Luffy likes coffee.

Coffee. Must get coffee. He ran into Sanji's fortress. A sweet, yet viscous, wonderland of meats, fish, and other assorted goodies that he himself would like to partake in—but no! He was on, but one mission: make coffee.

Luffy quickly came to the realization that he had no idea how to make coffee. "what would the Ossan do?" Luffy sat cross-legged and pondered.

Fifteen minutes of actual thinking later.

"Yosh, I got it!" Luffy began scouring the kitchen, opening cupboards, drawers, breaking any locks all just to find a bag of coffee beans.

"Where would it be?" The bag stared innocently from the counter.

"Nah, that can't be it." Staring continued.

"Dammit." He grabbed the beans and went back to thinking.

"Finally…what was next?" the grinder-thingy! Since he never had any experience with the coffee grinder, it became…quite messy. A fine layer of coffee grounds dusted the wood flooring like an old beach home.

The long awaited last step was the only thing standing in his way of more energy. Luffy waited eagerly for the machine to finish.

The chime alerting coffee had finished chirped, meaning only one thing. Luffy grabbed the pot and chugged it, completely ignoring the cups.

With his new found energy boost, he bounded out of the kitchen (and the mess) and went to the navigation room [if merely to cure the boredom].

Curiosity led him to Nami's desk. Navigational charts and maps were haphazardly pinned to hooks and strewn across the room. The top most map was that of the last island they went to, Spring Island. Leaning against the desk he toppled over another stack of maps. One caught his eye however 'Impel Down' the only island on the grand line he never looked forward to seeing again.

"Why are you here?" interest piqued by the new find he up turned new stacks and entry logs to find anything of use: nothing.

"Too bad." Disappointed, he returned outside.

Once outside, he began to feel nervous and agitated, not entirely sure why his hands trembled he squeaked. What is going on!

All he could do was giggle, giggles turned into full blown laughter and tears; he still could not make sense of it.

On the upper decks of the Thousand Sunny, one moss-headed man awoke to the sound of his captain's laughter.

"Finally, 'bout time somebody came back.

He didn't even know what he was in for.

Upon reaching the lower deck, the second-in-command noticed something wrong with his captain. Luffy was laughing and crying at…nothing?

"Uhh…Luffy?" Zoro asked attentively.

"Hey, Zoro! This is so weird!" he held up his shaking hand. Luffy then shows him the widest smile he had ever seen. Zoro then noticed the glazed over expression in Luffy's eyes,

"Are you high!" Chopper. Where was Chopper. He'd know what to do…

"Nah, I am perfectly fine *snort*. The old man in town gave me coffee; it was so bitter at first, so I didn't like but then…"

Color drained from the swordsman's face… 'He said coffee, didn't he? As in something caffeinated—Oh shit, we are all going to die a flaming death. Ossan gonna' get shanked!'

Taking a calming breath to fend off any murderous thoughts, he sighed.

"Luffy, stay here and please…don't do anything."

"Is this a game! I love games, almost as much as meat, but not as much as you guys. You guys are too awesome!" *cuing the sparkle-eyes* note to self: Luffy is the same when drunk or hyper.

Still, something clicked.

"Say, Luffy. Don't you like to play a game?" The best way to get Luffy under control was to preoccupy him. As an afterthought Zoro decided to check the damage the hyper-rubber man had made.

"A game?"

"Yes, a game. Now stay put, if you move at all, you lose, clear?" As expected, Luffy's smile morphed into a look a determination. "Yosh!"

Now that Luffy was preoccupied, Zoro scanned the ship for any damages, to his horror; the only two rooms decimated by the rubber-twit belonged to the two scariest people alive. If Zoro wanted to live, and he did, he would need to clean the ship before the crew got back.


Luffy still preoccupied as ever, realized he was losing energy too quickly. It had been nearly four hours since his last dose of coffee.

But he refused to lose, with eyes drooping he remained stationary.


"I'm going to make sure that guy does not run off by himself next time!" Zoro ran throughout the ship with a bucket of cleaning supplies, first came the navigation room, since Nami was scarier than Sanji could ever hope to be.

Hours ticked away and the death threats and promises continued. All that remained was the kitchen, three more hours ticked by and he had finally finished. When it was done, Zoro was beyond all exhaustion.

He went back onto the deck and noticed Luffy fast asleep in the same position he was when he had left him.

"That's over." Zoro let out a yawn and stretched. Walking over near Luffy, he sat down and began drifting off.

~Everybody else~

"Ah~ such a nice day, truly touches my heart. But wait—I don't have a heart! Yahohoho—" the group merely face-palmed at the bone-humor.

"Hey, Ussop, what do you think Zoro and Luffy are up to?" Chopper innocently stares up at the sniper.

Adjusting his bag of new goodies over his shoulder, Ussop glances down at the doe-eyed reindeer, before laughing and rubbing the bottom of his nose.

"With Luffy, anything is possible."

Nami listened into their conversation, nodded in agreement.

Sanji swooned up to Nami, "Nami-swan, Robin-chwan, is there anything I can hold for you two lovely ladies?" The two looked back at the man's already full arms and shrugged.

"Sanji-kun, can you take these—my arms are starting to hurt." Nami and Robin said simultaneously.

"But of course, mon petit!" Nami and Robin smiled to each other. Unbeknownst to the poor chef, they were planning the documentation to make him their personal slave—legally and officially.

"A-re, I see the ship, you guys!" Franky whistled out.

"Is that moss-head asleep!" Sanji bypassed the ladder and jumped on the deck. What he saw surprised him.

Not only was Zoro sleeping, there was Luffy leaning on him, out cold. Zoro's right arm draped over Luffy's shoulder almost protectively.

"Minna (everyone)! I got blackmail~!" Sanji chirped to his comrades below.

"Oooo~ this I must see—but I don't have any eyes! Yahooho!"

Either way, the crew scrambled onto the deck. The reactions were as according:

"Oh my…"

"Are they sick?" Chopper runs around on the deck, panicking. "They need a DOCTOR, Doctor! Oh wait- Imma' doctor!"

"Chopper-kun, everyone is fine." Robin bent down to pick up Chopper and hugged him.

"Why don't you ever do that to me, Robin-chwan!" in comes the rocket tempest from Nami's corner. Meanwhile…

"Where's the camera?"

"They're drooling on my precious deck!"

"Kinda' looks like a cat, doesn't he?" What Zoro failed to notice was the 'artwork' Luffy had concocted early on his face. Panda-like markings and whiskers adorned his face. Going back…

After another pile-driver and an actual need for a doctor, they finally decided the fun was over.

"Oi, Shit-head captain, moss-head, wake up!" Sanji started to kick the two sleeping men. Zoro awoke startled.

"Ow, ya' bastard! What was that for! And what are you staring at?"

Quite honestly, "your face" Nami procured a mirror from her hand bag and handed it to Zoro. She then whispers to Robin, 'I'm not sure if that was a good idea.' 4…3…2…1…

"NANI!" looking over at the still unconscious Luffy "I'm gonna' cut you!" Robin used her Hana-hana-no-mi to easily subdue Zoro, and ushered him inside to get cleaned up.

In true Luffy fashion, Luffy remained unaware to the turmoil around him, and it wasn't until supper Luffy blearily woke up and followed his nose to the kitchen.

"What a head ache…" Luffy clutched his head in discomfort.

"You're tellin' me, punk. " Zoro looked up from the sink, face pink and raw from scrubbing.

"What happened?" Luffy didn't even remember leaving the bar that morning.

"You drank coffee." That earned a collective gasp from the rest of the galley.

"How is our ship still in one piece!" Franky stared horridly at the two for almost destroying his ship. Brook responded like it was like another day, 'Miracles' even the atheistic Zoro agreed.

Luffy put his head down on the galley table, "I promise to never drink coffee again." He declared before passing out at the table.

His second in command, set the towel down and went to carry the captain back to his room.

"At least this won't happen again." He chortled his way out the door.