AN: performs an illegal necromancy ritual on this fic.
AN2: I asked people about changing Naruto's gender in another fic, the vote count was 1 for doing so, and 0 for not doing so.
Chapter 2: Konoha.
It was a quiet group that entered the Ninja village of Konoha. One was worried about his traveling companion that went missing before he landed.
In the Guardian HQ, a young woman was on a table in the intensive care ward of the hospital, she had severe injuries from being nearly point blank to a generator explosion. It was only because of her abnormal toughness that she managed to survive and was expected to make a full recovery.
The only questions were, who the hell is she? And why the hell was she in a combat zone?
They would find out after he was awoken from her medical coma.
Another was cautious because she had nearly been raped, and the fact that another guy, sometimes girl, was showing an interest in her, but in the two-day trek, hadn't made a move. It was unnerving to her that he was waiting for her to become more comfortable around him before he made a move.
The missing-nin and his partner was nervous because, well Zabuza was a missing-nin.
Unlike her ex that made a move as soon as he saw her.
Her partner was also contemplative, but less untrusting towards the dimensionally displaced martial artist. The fact that he backed off and made no overt moves since Diana's initial reaction spoke positively about his character.
The tied up boy had her complete hatred for what he tried to do, and she was unsure about the rest of her companions.
Most of the ninja were suspicious of the newcomers, including the girls who kept blushing. Although the whiskered blonde was blushing at all three newcomers. Zabuza's apprentice and the two organics who landed on the swordsman were, in her opinion, hotter than her previous crush, and nicer to boot, as none of them had hit her for saying something stupid.
She was still getting used to people not caring when she put her foot in her mouth, and so she plotted on the best way to get the guy's, and girls' attention, and so she observed who would be easiest to get her claws into.
That person would be the last to be caught, as he/she would be the easiest.
It had taken her the trip back to discover that Haku would be the easiest, as she didn't have any mental scars, well assuming she was either lesbian or bi-sexual.
The other two, the blonde thought with an expression that would make a mischievous kitsune look well behaved, would be a challenge.
The group had ended up at the Hokage's office, soon after entering the city.
The old man took one look at the newcomers, the tied up boy, and the girl who had an expression last seen when she had put superglue on all the ANBU masks and opened a drawer.
Taking out a bottle of Excedrin, he popped two of them dry, before saying, "Explain."
Kakashi straightened up and started his verbal report, which because he didn't want to spend all day in the Hokage's office he summarized, "A really Fucked Up mission."
"More details Kakashi," the third demanded.
"We headed out, and within three hours were ambushed by the Demon Brothers. I used a replacement so as to get an idea on who they were after. After they had 'killed me' the two went after the client, and Sasuke took one down, and I took the other. Naruto was poisoned and bled the poison out. Our team decided to continue with the mission, which turned out was intentionally misranked because of the client's lack of money," Kakashi was interrupted by the Hokage at this point.
"I can understand, possibly, you continuing with the mission, but why didn't you call for backup?"
"It honestly didn't occur to me sir, I thought I could handle it," came the Jonin's reply.
"Kakashi, you should've come back immediately once it was obvious the mission was misranked, and if you had chosen to continue, regulations state that you get back up, not put your team at risk for your ego, now continue with the report."
"Yes, sir. We crossed a river with the help of a client's friend, and we were attacked by Zabuza here. He captured me, and Naruko along with Sasuke freed me. I fought him some more and won before his partner disguised as a hunter-nin interrupted our fight and took him away.
I then collapsed and my students carried me to the client's house.
The next day I was mobile, abet on crutches, and showed my students how to do the tree walking exercise."
He was interrupted again, this time the Hokage was pissed, "You mean to tell me, that you hadn't taught that to them before that mission? A skill that we expect our jonin instructors to teach their students... in the first week! A skill that had been removed from the academy curriculum due to the civilian council's meddling! What exactly have you taught them in the month you had them?"
"Well.." the jonin started, while scrambling through his mind to find an acceptable answer. Unfortunately for him, he didn't find any, so he had to tell the absolute truth, "Teamwork exercises."(EN)
"And?" the Hokage prompted.
At the same time Zabuza, Haku, and the Anbu guards were looking at the sensei of team seven incredulously.
So were the dimension travelers, but their looks affected Kakashi less than those of his fellow ninjas.
"Nothing?" the man squeaked.
Sarutobi glared at the man, and angrily asked, "and why not?"
"I wanted to get their teamwork up first. They barely passed the bell test, so I wanted to boost their ability to work as a team, before increasing their individual skills and possibly make teamwork worse," the one-eyed jonin replied nervously.
The Hokage's fist slammed down and he roared, "Kakashi, you should have been working on both at the same time! A team is only as strong as its weakest link! Every team member needs to gain in skill for a team to grow. Teamwork exercises are fine, but they should be used to supplement training, not be the whole training. Naruto, how does a typical day go for your team?"
"Well... we arrive at eight like ordered, wait two or three hours for Kakashi-sensei to arrive, do a mission, then spend an hour on teamwork exercises before he dismisses us, Sakura leaves, I ask for help, he tells me I'm not ready to learn jitsu's and to work on my taijitsu, but doesn't give me any suggestions, then he spends an hour sparring with Sasuke. I generally try working alone for another three or four hours to try and improve," Naruto replied nervously and felt his instructor's glare directed on him.
The last part made Sakura look at him incredulously.
"Naruto, remember what I told you! Those who break the rules are trash, and those who abandon their comrades are worse than trash! You telling him that is..." Kakashi lectured half in anger... and half in worry before he was interrupted.
"Exactly what I ordered him to tell me Kakashi. Now tell me, why are you only spending two or three hours with most of your team... at most? My son, whom I admit is rather lazy, does twice that. Two or three missions, and spends a few hours with them, and does something with them during that time. Not much I admit, but something. Kurenai does even more. I am removing team seven from your command and having them all retested, now continue with your report."
Kakashi looked like he has swallowed a lemon, but he continued, "Sakura completed it on her first try, so I sent her to guard the bridge builder."
"With Zabuza's apprentice still active," the third Hokage stated flatly.
"Er, yes sir. I admit that fact didn't occur to me in my disabled condition. The next six days saw Naruko and Sasuke finishing the technique, but Naruko was so tired we let her sleep in the next day. She apparently, from her reports, awoke just in time to save the clients daughter and grandson from being killed and/or kidnapped. Meanwhile, Sasuke started fighting Haku, and I started fighting Zabuza. Naruko arrived in time to help Sasuke, but she screwed up and entered the ice dome instead of trying to help from the outside. She then used IT'S power to escape and defeat Haku.
And this is where thing got weird."
The Hokage took out a sake bottle and poured himself a glass before asking, "Weirder than this fucked up mission?"
"Those three," and Kakashi waved to the three dimension travelers. "Dropped out of an empty sky, and landed on Zabuza right as I was about to hit him with my technique. It was on the heels of that event that Gato showed up with over a hundred bandits, intending to kill us all, and those three took them down efficiently. Later the two missing-nin decided to ask to join us, and the trio that dropped on one of them asked to come along since they had nowhere else to go. The reason why Sasuke is tied up is he attempted to rape the one with pointed ears, saying that she should be honored he took an interest in her."
"ANBU, take the brat to a holding cell and tell Anko, and Ibiki to get answers as to why he thinks he can do such things without repercussions. Then tell Iruka to assess the practical skills of the two remaining genin of Team Seven and their improvements. I know that at least one barely passed those parts and needed to improve, and someone fetch me the files for the jonin instructors that were willing to take a team!" Hizarin barked out.
"But sit, they are my team!" Kakashi wined.
"A team you have failed to train from the start. A team that could have been butchered because you arrogantly decided to take them on a C rank without training their practical skills. That team?"
"Sir, please give me a second chance!" Kakashi pleaded as he didn't want a black mark on his record, or the possible demotion.
The Hokage thought for a second, and his eyes caught on someone. Someone that would normally be on probation for months anyway.
Grinning in a way that made Naruko join in, the old man replied, "Very well, on two conditions."
"Sir?" the jonin asked nervously, not liking the grin.
"First that there will be a second jonin on your team, both to report directly to me, and to train them in case you fail to. The second, is that your pay will be docked, every time you are late for any team meeting, or meeting I call. I can excuse a few minutes, but any more than ten will count. Enough late events reported, and I'll bust you to genin, am I understood?"
"But sir!" Kakashi said in shock.
"No buts Kakashi, those are my conditions for you to remain a jonin sensei with your record of being one, now do you agree, or not?"
Kakashi grit his teeth, he hadn't expected the old man to be this pissed. So he didn't give his team any practical skills until this mission, they needed teamwork training more. It was supposed to be a simple bodyguard against bandits, he could do that in his sleep.
"Fine sir," he ground out.
"Excellent, you will be paired with Zabuza throughout his probation. Zabuza, I expect weekly reports on both Kakashi's teaching method, as well as your own, and your students' progress. Now Team seven, Haku, and Zabuza you're dismissed. ANBU take Haku to be evaluated."
After the room was cleared with the exception of Ranma, Diana, and Val, along with some more ANBU who replaced the ones the man ordered to take people to various locations or deliver messages.
"Now what to do with you three?" the old man said while lighting his pipe. He had some ideas, but he wanted to speak with the four.
"As long as I'm not sent on assassination, or seduction, missions, I wouldn't mind joining your forces," Ranma replied with a shrug.
Diana shrugged and replied, "I have no choice but to say the same right now, as I have nowhere really to go, but I would need to return home if I get the chance, even if it's probably impossible."
"I'm Diana's Partner Machine, I go where she does!" Val replied.
The old man lowered his hat and smirked. He had no problem with those conditions, as if Diana ended up going home, she would go back with a positive impression of Konoha, and that meant he could possibly set up an alliance. The mission restrictions were no problem either, as he had plenty of shinobi that could do those types, and he also had plenty that couldn't handle it as well. Now he just needed a team for them, because unlike Haku, who had been apprenticed to a jonin, these two were new to the ninja game.
Of course, if his suspicions about the pinkette on team seven proved correct, that would give him an excellent place to put the two.
"Cat, take these three to get some bedding and supplies and set them up in decent apartments in Naruko's building. Bring them back in two days at ten am. I will have a decision on where to slot them in our forces at that time."
The old man turned towards the waiting trio, and said, "Go with Cat, she'll get you set up, then take the rest of today, and tomorrow, to get acquainted with Konoha."
After getting the assent of the three, and seeing them head off, he chuckled. Then his face went stony in fury at the sole male of team seven's actions. He loved the Naruko like a granddaughter and the fact that Sasuke thought he had the right to rape any girl that caught his fancy pissed him off.
He wouldn't let the council let the boy off.
Turning back to his paperwork he started the necessary paperwork for the trio of newcomers, as well as for Sasuke's arrest and Sakura's dismissal from the shinobi forces.
He knew that the girl would fail her assessment.
EN: in canon, we haven't seen ANY training from Kakashi at this point, but given his stated thoughts on teamwork, I can see him concentrating on that aspect. I personally think that that team shouldn't have been allowed out of the village at that point. They needed some serious training, especially Sakura who had no practical skills beyond the basics.
EN2: this is actually the SECOND version. The first was a bashfest of epic proportions which didn't fit what I had already written, if people want to see it I can edit this chap to put it in after the end of the chapter.