2Anybody ever listen to the song Perfect World by Simple Plan? I'm so in love with this song but that's not the point. This song I think matches Miharu and Yoite perfectly. It's so sad, man… So I decided to turn it into a songfic~! It just didn't want to leave my mind until I wrote it so here it is. This takes place towards the end of chapter 50 of the manga right after Yoite's death.
Warning: Spoilers up to chapter 50 and above for manga and end of anime. Course I would think everyone in this fandom by now knows that Yoite dies. Main reason we write about them right? Ease the pain.
Disclaimer: I do not own Nabari No Ou or Simple Plan's song because if I did—like everyone else here—I would change the ending.
Perfect World
I never could've seen this far
I never could've seen this coming
Seems like my world's falling apart
Miharu knew that one day he would be alone once again in his apathetic little world. It was clear with every cough that had racked the elder's body, with every drop of blood that slid down his lips, with every inch of porcelain colored skin lost to the blackness.
And still he never thought about the day the Kira user would no longer be part of his life. It had seemed like something that would happen but in the far future, not so close to the present day.
Yet here he was. Holding onto a bodiless outfit that was slowly breaking apart now that its host was floating away like ash in the wind. He was left clinging to a still warm cream turtleneck that would soon grow as cold as the snow falling around him. Everything started to blur as the fairy's voice shuffled through his thoughts.
"Now who do you have to lean on but me?"
Why is everything so hard
I don't think I can deal with the things you said
It just won't go away
"Hey… Miharu. If it's too sad, then erase me. I want you to be able to smile again."
How the hell was he supposed to smile again when everything that made him smile was gone? Even so close to death, the elder had never been able to comprehend how much his presence had done for the younger.
In a perfect world
This could never happen
In a perfect world
You'd still be here
And it makes no sense
I could just pick up the pieces
But to you
This means nothing
Nothing at all
It was that promise that had jerked him out of his apathy and made his mask break to pieces. Now the pieces were scattered and he couldn't put them together again. Tears pricked at his eyes but didn't fall.
It wasn't fair. The black-haired youth would never feel this pain that was strangling his heart and making him want to scream in agony. Now, he didn't feel anything at all. Only the brown-haired boy suffocating a steadily growing icy sweater could experience the grief.
"If you made this your world, he could still be here…"
Shut up.
I used to think that I was strong
Until the day it all went wrong
I think I need a miracle to make it through
When had his hard defenses failed him? Where had been the crack in his armor that made his indifference fall apart at one simple desire from a pathetic creature like the Kira user? It hadn't been pity that made him help him; he had respected the elder far too much for that. Whatever the reason, it had become his downfall. How was he supposed to get through this misery?
"Forget. Just forget it all. The pain, the memories… It's what you wish isn't it? For this pain to go away?"
Yes. It was all he wanted. Just to make the pain. Stop. Hurting. So. Damn. Much.
But he didn't want to forget everything. He wanted to remember those gorgeous blue eyes that were deeper than any ocean, that rare smile that had delighted his heart. He would give anything to feel those warm lips against his forehead one last time.
I wish that I could bring you back
I wish that I could turn back time
Cuz I can't let go
I just can't find my way
Yeah
Without you I just can't find my way
He could always go back. He could bring him back from death's grip with a simple command. That wish was so strong he could feel it dominating every thought in his being. He buried his face in the lingering feeling of warmth in the sweater, savoring the scent he had grown so used to.
Antiseptic and lemons.
If he could will it to reform, he could.
He could. The boy could wish everything back. Wish that the Kira user had never even been that, only a black-haired lad like everyone else. Then he would never even have the threat of death hanging over his head. But then he probably wouldn't have met him. He could turn back the hands of time and in those last minutes where they had spilled their hearts to each other in the brief time allowed, he wouldn't speak his heart, he'd wish it and show it through action. Then they would have forever to empty their souls to each other.
I don't know what I should do now
I don't know where I should go
I'm still here waiting for you
I'm lost when you're not around
I need to hold onto you
I just can't let you go
Maybe it had just been a nightmare. If he closed his eyes and further secluded himself in this wintery world around him, he'd wake up to see the older male hovering over him with a concerned look on his face because the younger had overslept. If he just waited here, the clothes would be occupied by their host once more in his arms.
"You're grasping at straws."
What a sad thing to do. Honestly dream this all away. Things like that didn't happen in reality. What was he supposed to do now though? His only reason for even breathing had been his promise to the elder. Every day he got up so he could listen to that ragged voice tell him what they had to accomplish today or what the enemy was up to. Now that reason had left him completely alone without a second thought in the world. Hadn't he felt guilty for not keeping his promise of making the brown haired male the king of this ninja world?
Had those tears been for Miharu when he found out that his time was suddenly up before either of them had expected it?
In a perfect world
This could never happen
In a perfect world
You'd still be here
And it makes no sense
I could just pick up the pieces
"Let me give you your perfect world, Miharu…"
"Miharu?" The younger male stiffened, glancing over his shoulder. The trenchcoated young man frowned, walking towards him slowly. His hat had been tilted back so that his face could be seen visibly while the raven strands of his hair swayed with each step. "What are you doing sitting out in the snow like this?" The tears that hadn't fallen before welled up and spilled over as the brown-haired boy rose.
"Yoite…" Yoite stopped in front of him, extending a gloved hand.
"Come on, Miharu. Let's go home." Miharu reached out tentatively and grasped at the fingers.
That disintegrated within his grasp. Everything went pitch black as he fell away, reaching up and clawing at the nothingness around him. Cackling laughter sounded around him as a scream ripped from his throat.
"Only you feel this crushing blackness, Miharu. Don't you want it to end? I can make it stop. Just forget him, forget everything but me. Forget the one who left you to suffer."
Who was he crying for?
But to you
This means nothing
Nothing at all
You feel nothing, nothing at all
Nothing at all
I hope that made sense to all of you and that you enjoyed it. The loss of a loved one is something I have experienced as I'm sure most of you have, but this sort of utter destruction is something I hope I never will. Because of this, I hope I have expressed Miharu's emotions as best as I could without this knowledge myself.
Until we meet again~!
-Zehava