Disclaimer: This is the part where I tell you that Kingdom Hearts does not belong to me. However since I feel like a rebel, methinks that I'm just gonna keep it. Yep that's right. It's mine suckers.

*Bleep* Lady Lake, It's time for us to shut down the hologram system

Aw, Darn it! Just a few more minutes? Reality sucks.

Nope. We gotta shut it down. SquareEnix just called and said someone was stealing their copyrighted game and characters.


Ansem was a king of kindness, gentleness and secrecy. While it could not be said that he was a brilliant ruler: his glorious kingdom was praised throughout the country, He was certainly quiet. He shared his thoughts with no one. His innermost feelings were compressed, or put aside for the good of all of Oblivion. The villagers and commoners murmured. Rumors had always fluttered from mouth to mouth, but the king paid them no mind. The peasants could find nothing wrong, and so, they lived aa carefree life under his strong rule.

However, the townspeople were truly enamored with the lovely queen. Yes, it was most definitely true: Ansem's wife surely was one of the fairest, most beautiful maidens of the country, her heart and soul just as magnificent as her dashing beauty. Her purple tinted brunette hair shone with a fraction the same twinkle that could always be seen in her beautiful indigo eyes. She was loved by all, hated by none.

The young crown prince was slightly different. He so much resembled his mother, that each folk had expected him to be just as wonderful. Sadly it was not to be. It wasn't so much the fact that the small smirk or look of disdain often shown on his face was cruel. Take it not that way at all, for that was not how it was meant to be interpreted. You see, though Prince Zexion was quiet, cold, anti-social and at times heartless, deep down I believe that there was a shred of emotion. Perhaps Prince Zexion wanted a friend. Perhaps he wished to live a normal life. Or perhaps he wished that his father was not such a dumbass. But that is for later in the story.

The three of them lived a seemingly happy life. The kingdom prospered for many years. But what kind of story would this be if nothing went wrong? No that would not do at all. Of course all good must come to an end. So, my dear readers, Let us start at the beginning of our conflict, for where better a place to commence then from the start?

It all started when Ansem began to question is sexuality. Although he was married to the most attractive woman in the entire kingdom he felt no desire whatsoever whenever he was near her. He found instead, his eyes continually being drawn towards… Well, Males. This highly confused the king, for who had ever heard of a man liking another man. Considering the possibility of having some horrid disease, he pondered thoughts of suicide. Thus, the first reason for Zexion's believing of Ansem being an idiot.

For many months Ansem tried to suppress the feelings inside of him, yet after a little while he found that he couldn't be with the woman who supposedly held his heart. It hurt to much. Ansem then made the decision to murder his wife in the dark of night and right it off to a horrible sickness that just happened to hit in the night leaving random bullet holes littered through the skin killing the poor victim instantly.

The kingdom, refusing to think for a second that their beloved king would have something up his sleeve, gobbled up the outrageous lie eagerly.

The ever observant prince Zexion however was not stupid, nor did he have any qualms against immediately blaming his father for his mother's death. Zexion soon realized that his father was most definitely a lying insecure moron, who didn't realize that half the kingdom suspected he was gay already.

Zexion wasn't horribly depressed about the death of the queen, the cause being Zexion wasn't really close to anyone, not even his own mother. He wasn't angry with his father for brutally murdering his mother, he was more irritated about the fact that Ansem had thought him stupid enough to fall for his huge conspiracy.

Yet the matter that his idiot father had neglected to remember when assassinating the queen, was that according to the law a new queen must be chosen before the year is up. Seeing as the king was still quite gay, the young, sadistic prince smirked, curious to see what Ansem would come up with.

"Um, your highness?" the guard slash advisor of the kingdom was quite the optimist most of the time. This man was second only to the king himself ever since the death of his wife. His bright blue eyes and brunette hair that defied gravity was well known throughout the kingdom. But the one thing that truly made the youth stand out was his ability to use the most prized sword ever seen by the folks of the village, not to mention throughout a good part of the world. The golden sword was forged from the strongest of metals in the hottest of flames causing it to have the most unique golden colour. The shape was quite similar to that of a key and it's beauty surpassed all other weapons anywhere in castle Oblivion. According to rumor this key could conquer entire worlds, defeating those with the darkest of hearts and those with the strongest of armors.

Sora, for that was the man's name, was loyal only to king Ansem, yet there had been something about the king that had seemed quite different ever since the good queen had passed. At first Sora had written it off to depression, but after carefully observing the man he discovered that the king didn't look sad at all. When the king stared blankly into space, as many people do when they're thinking, the look in his eyes wasn't so much of sorrow, but more of a brooding. As if the king wasn't sure what he was going to do next.

This was what Sora was for: To help make decisions such as these. The level of leadership in the castle was running dangerously low, which was the best explanation for why Sora had ended up with two of the highest positions in the kingdom. You see Sora was always ready to lend a helping hand and seeing as he was already in good favor with the king, he found himself as the head of the Guard and also the king's highest advisor and friend. It was his job to help the king as much as he could and although he hated having to snap the king out of his reverie he knew it was necessary to deal with the problems now rather then later.

"What is it Sora? Can't you see I'm moping?" Ansem sighed wearily. Although now he did not need to worry about his wife, he still felt alone. He would be 'The lone King' forever, it seemed.

"Well sire, the passing of our queen, may she rest in peace, has brought on a few political problems."

Ansem's brow furrowed. He hadn't been counting in this. He was just supposed to kill his wife and then everything would be fine once again. Sora looked at the man's face and plowed forward figuring it best to keep going.

"The law states that a new queen must be chosen within a year of the previous' death."

Ansem visibly paled. Yes this was a problem. He had just gotten rid of his last wife, and now he had to find another one? All he wanted was a man who he could love, someone who would love him. But now he had to find another woman... Or did he? Really as long as the citizens of the kingdom didn't realize the queen was a man, then he would be fine! And thus was the beginning of the biggest scandal ever committed.

The plan was simple really, Ansem thought as he crept carefully out of the castle, his body hidden underneath a dark cloak. To anyone who saw him in the streets he would look just like weary traveller, so much dirt had he used to conceal his face.

The plan consisted of creeping out of the castle in the dead of night. He would sit in the cozy pub at the edge of town, that he'd heard was quite popular around here with the citizens, and look for the most girly man he could find: Someone who could look good in a dress, someone who was quite feminine, yet still male.

Quietly he walked down the empty streets, hearing the inn before he saw it. The rowdy noise and ramble coming from the building was quite welcoming. A rosy glow surrounded the small building giving off an atmosphere of friendliness.

The creaking sound of the door was immediately absorbed into the shouts and cheers sounding from inside the small pub. Ansem attempted to recall the name of such a friendly place, briefly remembering the large red sign out front with 'Ye old pub' scrawled in gold lettering.

The old king successfully made it to the back of the room without being spotted by anyone. With a sigh he sat down to observe the residents, young and old.

He noticed a few drunkards sitting in corners, chugging down what was probably their twentieth bottle that night. Several men were crowded around a small table playing poker of some sort. Someone at the table slammed down their cards angrily and shoved a large pile of money towards the middle of the table and pushed the chair away, storming off in a fury. No doubt that had been his savings for the past week. Ansem knew the man's wife would not be happy with him when he returned to his house.

But out of all the inhabitants, Ansem found that the most noise came from the middle of the room where a crowd of what seemed to be regulars at the small pub were laughing and sloshing ale around. If Ansem listened he could hear their conversation, and so he slowly inched forward in hopes of over hearing things about girly men. Almost as if he expected it to be a common topic of conversation.

"So, how's yer lass doin'?" One of the men was saying to the gruff looking man sitting beside him. The man grunted before letting out an annoyed sigh.

"Xigbar, you stay away from my wife y'hear?"

The man, Xigbar, feigned a look of innocence.

"Why I can assure you, I was only attempting to make conversa-"

"Like hell you were," the man finished the conversation with a stern tone. Xigbar let out a disappointed sigh before turning around to glance around the rest of the small pub looking for someone else to pester. His eyes rested on Ansem for a fraction of a second giving the king a moment of panic at being discovered, before he was distracted by the waitress bringing drinks and food to the already too drunk customers.

Truth be told, Ansem was quite distracted for a moment at the sight of the peculiar waitress. She was indeed a sight to see. If you want to go into specifics, it was the pink hair that grabbed his attention. On top of that however was the strange attire that she wore. Unlike most of the women in the kingdom, this lady was draped in a man's clothing: long pants, these appeared to be maid of fine silk, and a fine formal shirt, complete with a few frills. As she walked in Ansem could smell the distinctive aroma of roses, which seemed to follow her wherever she went. This woman was quite peculiar indeed. The King couldn't help but shake the feeling that there was something different about her.

"Look you blubbering idiot, stop trying to hit on me, I'm a MAN!"

…That could be it.

Ansem looked up confusedly at the deep baritone that had just erupted from the glossy pink lips. He frowned for a moment trying to determine whether or not this person spoke the truth. If indeed this woman was a man, all of his problems would be solved just like that!

Quickly he called the wom- sorry, man, over to his small table. The man just looked at him a moment and nodded, but gestured toward the men who he had just left completely shell-shocked. Ansem understood the meaning, knowing that he still had to give the rest of them their food, not to mention pick a good half of their jaws up off the floor. But after a few moments the rosette made his way towards the king in disguise.

"What can I get you sir?" he said in a polite if not bored tone. Ansem still couldn't get over the fact that such a masculine voice was coming from such a feminine man. The king shook his head as though to clear his head of the intoxicating flowery perfume.

"Actually, I was wondering if I could ask you a few questions," Ansem said in his most kingly tone. The man paused for a moment and looked around quickly before nodding and sliding into the seat across the table from the suspicious figure.

"Go ahead," he said. Ansem started out simple, deciding that immediately demanding a man to be his 'bride' may not be the best way to start any conversation. He had to be smooth and cool.

"Are you actually a man?" he blurted out. The man rolled his eyes tiredly as if he had heard the question a million times. No doubt he had with hair like that.

"Yes," the man answered simply. It was clear Ansem would have to be a little bit more specific. But again, he decided he should start with simple questions.

"Alright, so I guess I'd like to know your name?" he said questioningly as if he wasn't sure if he was going too far or not. The pink haired waiter sighed. It was obvious he would rather be elsewhere. Yet still he answered the question.

"Marluxia. I like flowers, pretty things and someday I hope to rule from castle Oblivion," he said in a mocking tone. "Now if you don't mind I have other customers to attend to."

With that he stood up and was about to leave when Ansem grabbed his sleeve and pulled him back down with one hand, pulling his hood off showing his face with the other, finally recognizable in the light, to the most girly man in the kingdom. Marluxia gasped.

"Your highness! I apolo-"

"Marluxia, would you have the honor of becoming my 'wife'?"

A/N: Alright-y guys. I know what you're thinking.

Lady Lake! Why are you starting a new story when Pick-Up Lines isn't finished yet?

Well actually that's more my train of thought. But to those of you who care, I'm still working on Pick-Up Lines, I just felt that I needed to write this. Anyways, this will eventually be a Snow White parody! With Demyx and Zexion! Why aren't you cheering yet?

Anyways, I really need a Beta for this story, so seriously, if you're interested please drop me a line. I would appreciate it! Like, Alot! Like seriously somebody please volunteer! Maybe there will be a unicorn in it for you.

So, basically, I have at least half of this story finished, the fact however is that I need to edit it. I originally was going to write a fairly long one-shot, however I was at 6,000 words and I'm only half way through. Don't worry though folks, because the rest of it will be finished. As of now I've resolved to write a new chapter for every Chapter I post! We'll see how well that works out. I suppose though if there are enough reviews I could post another one soon. (Please take note of my not so subtle hinting)