I do not own Inuyasha! This was in response to a Dokuga challenge, Old Dogs and New Tricks, given by Fallen Tenchi, originally posted over there but I figured that I'd post it here too

Basically: The goal for this challenge is to get fics/arts where Sesshoumaru is FAILING or ANGRY with modern day items, because he can't quite get the hang of them, they surprised him, offended him, etc.


Show Sesshoumaru dealing/battling with a modern object, either in current times or feudal era, or irritated while going through a modern-day situation.

And here you have it!


The great daiyoukai, ruler of the Western Lands, now Emperor of the Eastern Youkai, glared at the foe before him. In all of his years, few creatures ever dared to defy him and those that had been foolish enough to do so were dead, save The Miko and the Whelp. And now, because of his audacious Miko, he was forced to allow this, this thing to join her as one of the few in the world, nay, the universe, that he allowed to survive despite defying him.

That the thing wasn't really alive was conveniently forgotten in is ire as he glared at the thing that dared defy him.

He didn't completely understand why now of all times The Miko had set down her foot and forbidden him from dispatching this cursed, supercilious thing as he had its forbearers. After all, if he destroyed it then he could replace it with one that would actually work.

He growled at the blasted thing and briefly wished that The Miko was with him. She was perfectly capable of making the self important thing work properly. But he pushed that thought aside just as quickly as it had come. If The Miko, foolish as she was, was capable of making this thing work properly then he, Sesshomaru, was more than able of not only making it work, but making it work better than The Miko! He was nearly a thousand years old, he was more than capable of conquering and forcing this upstart of human technology to submit.

The washing machine sat in deceptive innocence in front of him.

Carefully the Lord of the West, Emperor of the Eastern Youkai, sorted his laundry. Whites, colors, delicates, everything went into the appropriate pile. He chose a particular pile and carefully measured out the appropriate amount of detergent and pressed the proper buttons.

Unfortunately for the great youkai lord, despite his apparent perfection, he was, at the very core of his being, a pure dog youkai. And, as a proud member of what was obviously the most superior of youkai species, he happened to share a particular trait.

Sesshomaru was color blind.

It was not something he thought about as he relied more on his sense of smell, which was of course superior to that of any other youkai in the world. And of course, he was a dog youkai and thus he could see most colors. It was just that certain shades eluded him and no one had ever lived long enough to realize and point out the apparent imperfection. Well, there was his brother but Inuyasha had not noticed or cared that Sesshomaru couldn't necessarily pick out certain colors. Kagome possibly could have noticed but she had never been in a position, until recently, where she would have the chance to realize such a thing.

In the past Sesshomaru had slaves to deal with the laundry, or wore clothes of youkai make which would repel dirt and mend themselves. Those traits combined with the fact that Sesshomaru could count on one hand the number of battles in which any drop of blood or speck of dirt actually got on his clothes anyway had made laundry essentially unnecessary. It was only recently with the rise of the humans that he had started to supplement his wardrobe with human wear that seemed to attract dirt and needed to be laundered. Thus Sesshomaru had never noticed that he couldn't pick out certain colors, he always just assumed that the laundry mishaps were the fault of the washer and, before Kagome had stopped him, always destroyed the obviously faulty machine and purchased another in its stead, as well as a new batch of shirts. After all, he was the ruler over all of the youkai of the eastern hemisphere, he could afford new shirts.

And now his closet was empty of clean shirts and he was due to meet with The Miko in a few hours. He couldn't go and buy new shirts unless he lowered himself to wearing one of the ones that were already soiled. Even ordering an employee (read: slave) to get new shirts for him would take more time than it would to just wash them, leading Sesshomaru to his latest battle against the infernal machine.

But this time, this time, Sesshomaru was completely confident. This time he had triumphed over the infernal machine and he would have clean clothes in time to make his lunch date with The Miko. This time, victory was his!


Kagome delicately sipped at her soda and tried not to giggle as she caught yet another person glancing back to look at her obviously uncomfortable friend.

"Ne, Sesshomaru," Kagome began and he eyed her warily, "I didn't know you liked pink."

"Hn," Sesshomaru growled and he took a vicious bite of his hamburger and eyed The Miko.

Next time, Sesshomaru thought next time, victory will be MINE!


Thus ends my contribution to the old dogs learning new tricks challenge, a challenge which immediately made me think of Kagome and Sesshomaru sitting in a café somewhere and a rather uncomfortable Sesshomaru in a very bright pink shirt