Telephone Conversations - One- up-man-ship

The phone rang and a lightly tanned arm reached out to answer it.

'Hello, Donna Moss.'

' I'm really sorry Donna. I didn't mean to say anything, it just kind of slipped out. It wasn't my fault - she started it.'

'Mum, what's up? Are you OK?'

'Yes, I'm fine. I just, I just said something I shouldn't have.'

'What do you mean - hang on, you didn't mention the job did you?'

'Honestly, Donna, I really couldn't help it.'

'You mentioned the job, despite being under strict instructions not to tell yet. That's the last time…'

'I really couldn't help it. The provocation was….'

'You mentioned the other thing too, didn't you?'

'Well, I may have hinted, well, possibly more than hinted.'

Donna sighed 'My mother the blabbermouth of Wisconsin. Just tell me you were careful who you told and they will be discreet.'

'Ah.'

'No, please, do I really want to hear this? On second thoughts, you better tell me everything you said, so I can deal with the fallout.' She took and deep breath and muttered to herself, ' Now I know why CJ had to be our first call.'

'Do you remember Sally Johnson? She was in your class, but you never got on.'

'Yeah, she thought she was amazing and once told me I was destined to scrub floors, get married at eighteen and have a dozen unruly children with a layabout husband. She had a way with words -a nasty way. Boy, would I like to rub her face in it now. Do you have any idea what she is up to these days?'

'Funny you should say that. I was in Joy's Hair with Marion when I saw her mother, or rather heard her. You know that little corner Joy doesn't normally use? The one that has a pillar blocking it from the door. Well, today was really busy due to the Cheese festival and the gala dinner tonight. Marion and I had booked weeks ago, so Joy offered to put us in that corner away from the chaos in the rest of the place.

Grace - that nice girl who did your hair last time you were here - was just finishing Marion's hair when SHE started.

Sally's mother Lily must have come in and didn't see us in the corner. She was spouting forth about how great her daughter was and what amazing things she has achieved. All it really amounted to was a PA job to some exec, but the way she talked you would think Sally was running the country, as I said to Marion. Not only that but she has this amazing boyfriend with a fantastic job. It sounded like he moves money around and makes a packet doing it.

Apparently, Sally is a wonderful daughter which is fine, but then Lily started going on about how much better Sally has done than her classmates. Admittedly, some of your class haven't exactly distinguished themselves and I suppose she had a point when she compared Sally with that Rebecca Lewis, who works at the drugstore and married Rob Jones - the one with the brother in prison -but then she had the audacity to mention your name.

I suppose, in a way, it was funny to see Marion and I suddenly sit up and I am surprised neither of us spilt our coffee. Grace couldn't decide what to do, so just finished off Marion's hair while I fumed.

In Lily's view, you are a secretary - and I know how you hate that- who 'just types up notes for people who work for important people' and who couldn't 'keep' ( her word dear, not mine) the one man who was interested in you.

As you can imagine, I was fuming, but Marion made me take a deep breath and I was determined to be adult about it all.

That lasted until we got up to walk out and THAT WOMAN only had the gall to smile at me as we passed and to ask how you were. At that point, I would have strangled her if I could, only you know how the RSI ruined my wrists. So, I just said, very politely, ' For your information, Lily, Donna was a Senior assistant at the White House, where she worked on documents of national importance. ( See I must have been pretty well controlled to think to say that - although it is only what you said that Christmas when Uncle Bert was teasing you). She was a spokesperson for the Russell campaign, then was headhunted by the Santos campaign and will have a major role in the new administration.'

I thought that would be it, but Lily was determined to belittle you. She gave me a nasty look and asked if your new post would still be secretarial.

Well, I am really sorry Donna, but that was too much so I told her ' Actually, there will be an announcement next week that Donna has been approached by the First Lady and has accepted the post of her Chief of Staff, ' and with that Marion and I swept to the door.

Unfortunately, the dramatic exit was slightly delayed as we had to pay. We nearly got out of the door without any further trouble, only Lily had to try and have the last word. She said to her friend how pleased she was to have a daughter who came home regularly and even brought her lovely and very successful boyfriend.'

'Mum, you didn't . .'

'Donna, what could I do? Practically all the Ladies' Guild were there. I had to defend you. So I just told Lily that you were too busy serving your country to keep taking time off to come home and that you were currently on your first vacation for over a year. I then happened to mentioned that you had been whisked away on a romantic break by the man who will be helping the President to run the country. Then Marion asked Lily whether most people would not consider the President's right hand man to be more successful than a banker and certainly more influential. Then we left.'

Donna took a moment to speak.

'So now you have told most of the town and those that weren't there will doubtless get the news tonight at the dinner. '

'Donna, I am sorry, but if you had been there….'

'I know, don't forget I had to put up with Sally for years. The job announcement is due to go into today's briefing anyway. We had hoped to keep the other quiet, but I don't suppose there will be that much interest and Wisconsin is not exactly DC.'

'I am truly sorry, but I have to say I will remember Lily's face 'til the day I die. She looked like she had swallowed a beehive. What do you want me to say tonight, if anyone asks?'

'Bit late to deny it. Just say I have been on vacation and if anyone asks more you can tell them who with and leave it at that.'

'Well, I can't say much more because I don't know much more. How are things?'

'Great. The resort is fantastic…'

'Yeah, like I asked for the brochure. You know what I mean.'

'Let's just say we both have some adjusting to do, but in some areas we have made remarkable progress.'

'Donnatella!'

'I didn't mean that, Mum. Honestly, your mind. I just meant that after 10 years we are finally talking about all the things we couldn't talk about before.'

'Well, I think I understood that. Does that mean that other things….'

'Ok, 'other things' are amazing. I presume you don't want the details?'

' No thank you. Will you be home for Christmas this year?'

'That's one of the things we still have to talk about. Although if you only want me there to show Lily up I am not sure I want to come.'

'As if I would! It would be nice if you could both come for a few days. Surely there can't be much to do before Inauguration? '

'You would be surprised. Anyway, I am not sure I want to bring Josh to be a token 'catch'.'

'Oh dear, do you think he will be upset? I wouldn't want him to feel unwelcome or uncomfortable.'

'Don't worry, Josh has dealt with a lot of people like the Johnsons. If I tell him about Sally he will probably go all protective and want to put them in their place! He will make your mother hen act look like throwing me to the wolves. Anyway, it will doubtless inflate his ego to be paraded as catch of the month. We will just have to see whether we can get away. He may want to visit his mother.'

'What did she say when he told her?'

'He was a bit cagey but I could hear bits of the conversation as she was cheering. I think grandchildren were mentioned but Josh didn't pass on that bit.'

'Well I think you ought to get married first.'

'Mother! Give us a chance.'

'You've had nine years Donna and neither of you is getting any younger.'

'How to make a girl feel young and attractive!'

'That's Josh's job.'

'Talking of jobs, I need to get going.'

'Surely you haven't started your new job on a Sunday.'

'No, but Josh had to pop in for an hour or so and I had a lie in so ought to get up before he gets back.'

'I would have thought he would rather you stayed there.'

'Mother!'

'I was young once Donna and if the passion is fading already…..'

'NO, it's not and I am going to go now before you get any more outrageous. Don't think I don't know you only say these things to distract me from your major blabbermouth attack. Still a part of me would have loved to see Lily's face and to see Sally when Lily tells her. Last time I saw them they were so condescending and I felt so small.

Not sure how to take the fact that you used my job to boast but then threw in Josh as a clincher - he will never let up if he finds out that you rank him higher than my job. As if he's not already swaggering round the White House like the cat that ate the cream.'

'No, I rated your happiness over employment Donna, as any mother would. Of course Josh's job did make Lily spit so I cannot claim that didn't feel good. Anyway, I better go, so you can get on.'

'Bye, Mum.'

Donna put the phone down and stretched as the scene in the salon played though her mind. She was happy, extremely happy, and it had nothing to do with her new status or Josh's, but she did get a kick out of the town snob getting a put down. Especially such a well deserved one and from Donna's mother of all people. It was nearly as good as hearing from Sam that Amy had spat her coffee over Lou when she found out.

She heard a key in the door and Josh speaking to his agent. Maybe her mother's ideas weren't so bad she thought as she listened. Josh would certainly have no complaints on finding her still in bed.