Seven books in Seven Chapters- Book 2

This is a summary/ parody Harry Potter thingy. You decide which one.

Oh, yeah. I don't own Harry Potter. Once I did... then I woke up.

"Oh no! Ms. Norris is Petrified!"

"Shut up, Ron! That hasn't happened yet! First we need to destroy your dad's car with a tree!"

"All right then! I'll go get the car!

—One war waged against a tree later—

"Ms. Norris is Petrified!"

"Oh no!"

"Now Collin is Petrified! And Hermione! And That Prefect girl! And Malfoy didn't do it! Just pretend we already made Polyjuice Potion in the girls' bathroom!"

"Oh no!"

"Is that all you know how to say?"

"I can also say that there are giant spiders in the forest and that Voldemort has trapped my sister with a diary and a snake that's been living in the plumbing for fifty years."

"Oh no!"

"Die Basilisk! I am Harry Potter and I just so happen to know Parseltounge, which is the key to saving Ginny! Nothing to do with some author who likes her and wants her to survive! Just a coincidence!"

"I am Tom Riddle also known as Voldemort and I am telling Harry Potter my real name so he can taunt me about it later!"

"Die Basilisk! Fwakes! I need the sword of Gryffindor!"


"Too bad! Watch me stab your pet killer snake and then destroy your Horcrux that I don't know is a Horcrux! Why did you use a Horcrux to open a chamber that contains one of the few things that can destroy a Horcrux, anyway?"

"The author told me to."

"She seems to want me to keep beating you but almost dying in the process. It's kind of annoying."

"Yeah. I HATE being beaten by a little kid with messy hair and glasses."

"I am NOT a little kid! And besides, I meant that the almost dying part is annoying, not the beating you part."

"Oh yeah, you keep nearly getting yourself killed… well, I suppose that's annoying for you! But for me, it means I might actually kill you one day!"

"Wait, how are you still here? I just stabbed the diary."

"Oh. I need to scream in pain and vanish. AAAAAHHHHH!"

(VoldyTom vanishes)

Well, that's the end of part/book 2 of this story! Part 3: coming soon!