Author's note: One year and a week ago, this story was birthed from a real situation. I told myself I would never write fanfiction, but my friend Astrid persisted. So here I am, sharing a experience that never came true for me, but I wish it had. This story is for her =)
I'm going to switch POV's a lot, you are warned. Thanks to my beta bethroann, she deserves a hug and big sloppy kiss!
September 2009. Location: Forks.
Bella stood in the pouring rain, staring at the white house that had been her home for the past twenty-five years. The kitchen light was on, and she knew he was in there waiting for her. She looked down at the small engagement ring on her finger and felt emptiness. She thought he could make her happy after the accident, but she felt herself falling further into the darkness.
The water seeped through her black rain coat, chilling her to the bone yet she stood there motionless, wondering if she could force herself forward. Force herself through that door, pretending to be that Bella Jacob fell in love with.
The front door opened and light flooded the driveway, a tall muscular figured walked into the doorway. "Bells, what are you doing? You're going to get sick standing out there like that." Jacob's husky voice called forth, motioning with an arm to come inside. She picked up her heavy feet and forced herself to follow the retreating figure, hoping the warmth inside the home would greet her, but it didn't.
The Bella she's been pretending to be never met her at the door. She turned, looking out into the darkness. The driveway was void of the cop car that always sat there. Her soaked raincoat hung by the police jacket that was never worn. And more importantly, her boots were tossed into a closet that held boots that were never to be worn again. Heaviness sat deep in Bella's chest and she knew she was at her breaking point.
"Mind grabbing me a Coke?" Jacob called out from the sofa, engrossed in some sports show. It was the same thing everynight. Bella wondered if Jacob even knew how far gone she was. Did he notice the accident from a year ago still affects her like it happened last week? Did he notice she hasn't smiled or laughed since then?
She was playing housewife to someone she no longer loved.
Bella swung the fridge door open, causing it to crash against the wall beside it. Reaching for the Coke, the light glistened off her engagement ring. Courage she hasn't felt in months, welcomed her like an old friend. She was finally going to leave Jacob. There was no turning back, and leaving was the only way to do it. The love she felt for him was no longer there. She no longer felt her heart skip a beat whenever he smiled at her. No longer felt the passion whenever he touched her; no longer felt anything for him. She had nothing left to lose, her true happiness was already taken from her and ending the engagement to Jacob felt like the right step towards her recovery. Or at least the right step towards something, she thought.
Determination pushed her forward, pulling her engagement ring off and held it in front of Jacob's face.
"Your ring, Jacob." He sat up then, confused.
"What's wrong with it?" He didn't even get it. She turned then, walking towards the stairs, but Jacob cut her off. "Bella, what's going on? Why did you give me your ring?" She gave a short laugh, pushed past him and continued walking to the stairs.
Red clouded Jacob's vision, causing him to lash out in anger. He lunged out, and forcefully pulled her towards him."What the hell, Bella, don't walk away from me when I'm talking to you. Answer my God damn question."
Fear flashed in Bella's eyes, Jacob's grip was strong, but she needed to end this. "Get your hands off me, Jacob, now." Her voice was low, strong, and full of menace.
"What the fuck, Bella?" He pushed her away from him, causing her to fall backwards landing on the stairs. "I thought you wanted this!" His scream caused her to flinch away from him.
"When was the last time you opened your eyes, Jacob?" She yelled, pulling herself up to stand a few steps higher than him. "When was the last time you noticed how happy I was? Of course I wanted us to be together. I dreamed about that for the past seven years, hoping that one day we would become Mr. and Mrs. Jacob Black, one day to have kids, grow old together. But that's all it was, Jacob, a dream."
"Wake up, Bella," his voice was rough, "this is your dream." Jacob climbed the stairs, two at time, until he was standing right in front of her. His hands landing on her shoulders, playing with the curls in her hair. All roughness gone, his voice was suddenly soft as a feather. "I'm here for you, I gave you my heart, and a ring to show you my commitment to this relationship. I love you, Bella, and you know that." Jacob leaned in, brushing his lips against hers.
Bella pushed him away and looked him straight in the eye, completely void of all emotions. "You're right, I do need to wake up. And when I do, I want you gone. I want all of your stuff out of my room. All your stuff out of my house." She paused, closing her eyes, fighting the tears that were threatening to escape. "Maybe that will give you a clue about how much I love you." She turned from her once best friend, her once lover and ran up the stairs. The pain in his voice as he called after her made the river of tears impossible to hold back any longer. She walked blindly past the bedroom she shared with Jacob for the last year and up to a closed door that's been shut far too long.
She twisted the white knob and the door opened with a creak. A draft of cold, stale air engulfed her. She ran to the bed, slamming the door behind her and crawled under the cool blankets. A loud sob erupted from her lips and she squeezed her eyes shut, praying for the darkness to come.
She could hear the slow, loud footsteps going up and down the stairs all night. And then finally, she only heard the soft drizzle of rain hitting the window. Exhaustion claimed her body as the dawn of a new day shined on the house.
Bella stood at the base of her porch, staring up at her now abandoned home. So much has changed since that night she decided to leave Jacob. The darkness she's been living under finally had a break in the clouds.
"Bella, are you ready to go?" She turned to see her good friend, Angela, leaning up against a moving truck.
"Give me a minute?"
"Take all the time that you need." Bella watched as Angela climbed into the driver's seat and began to play with a GPS.
This was it. She was finally getting out of Forks. She was doing what her mother had done years ago, but this time, she wasn't running. She was moving on. And Charlie would want this for her, he was no longer the reason she had to stay behind. But still, it pained to leave him.
Bella ran from the house towards the cemetery down the street. The morning fog causing her to trip over a few curbs, but finally, she pushed opened the black gate and found the loan tomb behind a few trees. She brushed away the freshly fallen snow, revealing the letters of her father's name, and the newly carved swan beneath the dates.
Tears filled her eyes as she knelt down before the tomb stone. "I miss you so much, I wish you were still here with me." Her fingers traced his named, and the tears silently turned into a soft sob.
Bella looked up into the sky, and saw the morning clouds break away and the sunshine burst through the thick fog. A chilling breeze reminded her that she couldn't stay there for very long. She leaned forward, hugged onto the grave and kissed it slightly. "I'll see you soon, I promise."
She paused slightly at the gate of the cemetery and glanced back over to where her father laid. All he ever wanted was to see his Bella be happy. With this thought in mind, she turned towards the direction of the moving truck and walked towards her new destiny.
Chapter 2 is currently in the process of being rewritten. It might be from Edward's POV, or Bella's. Either way, they will meet next chapter!