So I wrote this on my phone a while ago and when I realized that it was actually done, I decided I would just sit down and type it out. Hopefully this will be enough to last you until I can finally finish Baby, You're Not Alone and update Collide. Speaking of those stories, they are going to be a bit delayed. It's senior year and I need to keep my grades up. On top of that I have marching band all the time, so when I do get the chance, I will write for you guys. I really am sorry it's taking so long. I love you all! Enjoy!

Mike and Matt were going out to Matt's car to get their lunches when they saw a group of identical black Range Rovers leaving a certain area of the parking lot. They looked at each other confusedly before heading to where the cars came from. Standing in the middle of the parking lot was Rachel, but she looked different somehow. As they got closer, they noticed the yellow goo dripping off of her body.

"Are those eggs?" Matt whispered to his friend.

"Rachel?" Mike tried to get her attention. The brunette finally turned around, her eyes welling up at the sight of the two jocks. "What happened to you?"

Rachel burst into tears, collapsing into Matt's arms (as he was the closest), the boy holding her tightly and rubbing her egg-covered back. "Shh, it's okay," he comforted, looking at Mike in a mixture of confusion and concern.

"Rachel. Who did this to you?" Mike asked, his hand caressing her back soothingly.

Through her sobs, Rachel choked out, "Jesse."

Mike and Matt looked up at each other, their jaws locking and their eyes darkening with anger. "Come on," Matt finally said. "Let's get you cleaned up."

"No!" she cried. "I-I d-don't want a-anyone t-to s-see me like th-this."

"Everyone's at lunch," Mike noted. "We'll take you to the locker room. It's on the other side of the school. No one will see you." They waited until Rachel nodded against Matt's shoulder. "All right, let's go."

The two athletes put their arms around the petite girl, guiding her towards the school. They walked through the doors and were about to turn towards the locker rooms when they heard a familiar voice.

"Chang, Rutherford, where are you going?"

Keeping Rachel hidden, they turned and faced Puck. "Um, skipping lunch. Gonna work out for a bit," Matt lied easily.

"Oh, cool, I'll come with," Puck said as he approached. The two dancers tried to object, but Puck came close enough to see the girl they were hiding. "Rachel?" She looked up at him with sad, worried eyes. "What's going on?" he asked his friends. Then he noticed the goo trailing down Rachel's body and landing in clumps on the floor. "And why the fuck are you covered in egg?" Anger became clear on his face. "Who did this to you?" he demanded, making Rachel yelp in fear. Mike pulled her close and glared at Puck.

"Look, Rachel will tell everyone later," Matt offered, trying to get Puck to leave before he made the situation worse. "Go to lunch and tell the rest of the gleeks to meet in the choir room tomorrow morning, before school. Rachel needs to get cleaned off." Puck grunted in confirmation before storming off. Matt and Mike continued to lead a whimpering Rachel until they made it to the locker room. Matt went and grabbed one of his towels and handed it to Rachel. "Do you need anything? Shampoo or soap?"

"I have a bag of toiletries and extra clothes in my locker," she replied in a whisper. "Mike, could you possibly go retrieve it for me?"

"Sure Rach, just write down your locker number and combination and I'll go get them." Mike pulled out a pen and scrap piece of paper, waited for Rachel to write the information down, then rushed to her locker.

Rachel sat down on one of the benches and reached up to pull a piece of egg shell out of her hair.

"Here, let me help," Matt offered, sitting down with the bench between his legs behind Rachel. Rachel turned so her back was fully facing him and leaned her head back. Matt's careful fingers slowly threaded through her chocolate locks, removing any fragment of egg shell he came across. "Rachel, what exactly happened? This is way too many eggs to be from just one person."

She sighed. "He had called me, telling me to meet him in the parking lot. I thought he was here to win me back, apologizing and promising me he still wanted to be with me despite being on separate teams. I was running to him when the first egg hit the back of my head. A few of his Vocal Adrenaline friends jumped out from next to the cars and started throwing them at me as well. Then he approached me and crushed one on my forehead." Tears began to stream down from her eyes again. "I can't believe he did this, just to get us into a funk."

"I'm sorry they targeted you Rachel," Matt comforted, his hand resting on her shoulder. "No one deserves that kind of pain." He turned her to look at him, using his fingers to wipe away her tears and some egg from her face. "Especially not you."

A soft, sad smile somehow found its way onto Rachel's lips. "Thank you Matt." Her arms wrapped around his waist and her head rested on his chest, his arms enveloping her. They broke apart when they heard a coughing from the doorway.

"Here's your stuff Rach," Mike said with a smile, handing over two small bags. "Um, Matt and I will keep look out outside while you shower and stuff." Rachel nodded, smiling and getting up to move towards the showers with her belongings. Mike grabbed Matt's shirt and practically dragged him out of the locker room. "What is wrong with you dude?"

"What are you talking about?"

"Don't act dumb," Mike scoffed. "I saw the way you were looking at Rachel. She just got dumped and dumped on by her ass of a boyfriend. She's off limits dude. She can't be hurt anymore, and besides, I think something's going on between her and Puck."

"No way, Puck's with Quinn," Matt replied. Mike rolled his eyes at the one thing his friend picked out.

"They're only together because of the baby," he explained. "I just know he and Rachel have had some weird connection since they dated and it's pretty obvious he'll make a move when the baby's born and he and Quinn break up." Matt scowled and leaned against the wall, ignoring his friend's presence. "Aren't you with Santana anyways?"

Matt laughed. "Not at all. When you told me about her and Brittany, I told her I couldn't be with her. Cheating is cheating, no matter what gender it's with."

"Why didn't you tell me man?"

He shrugged. "Not a big deal. I'm over it."

After a few moments of silence, the doors to the locker room opened and Rachel appeared. Her hair was in a damp side braid that came over her shoulder, her fingers playing with the bit of hair at the end. Her pink hoodie, yellow t-shirt, and jeans were replaced by a navy blue sweater with an owl on it, one of her signature skirts, and knee high socks. She had reapplied her makeup, but otherwise her face looked lifeless. Matt walked over and pulled her into his arms, Mike going around and hugging her from behind. A soft sigh fell from Rachel's lips, her eyes welling up again.

"Do you want to go to class or skip the rest of the day?" Mike asked, squeezing her shoulders.

"Yeah, we wouldn't mind taking you home if it would make you feel better," Matt nodded looking down into her sad eyes.

"I-" she started, but stopped, sighing once more. "As much as I detest the idea of neglecting my studies, I think I would just rather be in the comfort of my own home during this time. However, I think it is absurd that you neglect your education as well. I am more than capable of-"

"Don't even try to lie to us Rachel," Mike looked down at her, shaking his head. "We know Puck drove you to school today and you don't drive. We'll take you."

Rachel looked between the two boys, both of whom had soft smiles and kind expressions. "Very well," she finally conceded, allowing Mike's arms drape over her shoulders as they began to leave. She smiled softly when she felt Matt's hand find hers. They walked in silence, ignoring the looks of any students in the halls and exiting the building into the parking lot.

The drive to Rachel's house was just as silent. Because Matt's backseats and trunk were full of football and dance junk, Rachel was forced to sit between him and Mike. She kept her head against Mike's shoulder while Matt held her hand, drawing circles along its surface with his thumb. Mike sent a quick text to Puck telling him they took Rachel home and to stay away. He knew he was probably putting him and Matt at the top of Puck's list, but all they really cared about was Rachel, and the last thing she needed was a furious Puck. Finally, they reached her house.

"Thank you guys for driving me," Rachel whispered. "I will see you tomorrow."

"Wait, what?" Rachel turned to see Matt looking at her dumbfounded. "You really think we're going to leave you alone at a time like this? Uh uh, we're staying, at least until your dads get home."

"They're away on vacation," she muttered, her eyes on her hands. "They won't be back until next week."

"Well, then we'll just have to alternate nights sleeping over," Mike said with a smirk. Matt nodded. "Now come on." He lifted Rachel over his shoulders and carried her to the door, Matt following and laughing at her antics.

"Michael! Put me down!" she screamed at him. Mike chuckled, finally placing her back down on her doorstep. She glared at him before opening the door and walking in. "I guess make yourself at home. I'm just going change into something more comfortable." The two boys nodded, heading to the kitchen to make a snack. Mike found some vegan pizza and decided to cook it up.

"Are we really going to sleep over?" Matt asked from his seat on the kitchen island. "I'm sure my mom wouldn't mind knowing the reason, but I doubt Julie and MC Sr. would approve."

"I won't be able to tonight, but I'll convince them soon enough," he promised. "But remember what we talked about," he squinted at his friend. "Off limits. Don't make me tell Puck about what's going on. He'd be more than happy to stay here for a few days as well."

Matt growled at his friend before walking into the living room. His jaw dropped as Rachel came walking down the stairs in a pair of black short shorts and a white tank top with yellow and pink stars. Her hair was out of the braid and cascading down her back, her feet disappearing in her adorable fuzzy slippers. Mike followed in behind him, his jaw dropping as well.

"Damn," he whispered. He shook his head and smacked his friend's arm, walking into the room and flopping onto the couch. "Wanna watch a movie Rach?"

"Sure, you guys can pick," she offered with a soft smile, the sadness still evident behind her eyes. She sat next to him and let him pull her in to his side. "Oh, I should probably call Noah-"

"Already texted him the details," Mike alerted her. "He told me to tell you he would see you tomorrow." Rachel nodded. Matt came over and looked at the movie selection.

"Vantage Point?" Matt lifted the DVD case, a bright smirk on his lips. "You've seen this?"

"It's one of my favorites," Rachel responded, her smile growing slightly.

Matt put the disc in and sat next to Rachel, wrapping his arm around her waist and smiling down at her. They watched the movie together, and around halfway through, Rachel was nestled into Matt's side, the tension of the film getting the best of both of them. Mike had left around when school ended and the two teens continued to watch movies until finally going to bed, hugging each other goodnight.

"And now I just keep having nightmares of all the mothers of the little baby chicks coming after me for revenge," Rachel concluded. After being driven to school by Matt, she had ignored Puck until everyone had gotten to the choir room. The story took about twenty minutes to tell, and by the end, everyone was furious.

"Ugh, this is bull-" Puck groaned angrily. "Finn, Mike, Matt come with me."

"Right on," Finn agreed. "It's time for less talking and more punching." The four guys stood and made their way to the door, Kurt and Artie following.

"Hey, what's going on?" Mr. Shuester asked as he entered the room.

"We're on our way to go all Braveheart on Vocal Adrenaline," Finn exclaimed.

"No, guys, violence is never the answer," the teacher tried to rationalize.

"Oh it is when the question is, 'What's the best way to mess up that Jesse kid's face?'" Puck shouted angrily.

"Mr. Shue, Rachel's one of us," Kurt stated. "We're the only ones that get to humiliate her."

The guys continued to leave, only stopping when they heard their teacher shout, "STOP!" They turned to look at him. "Get back here and sit down!" Kurt immediately went to sit, but the others stayed put. "Look, I know from experience that making someone else suffer doesn't make your pain go away. You're all amazing, no matter what Vocal Adrenaline says or does. We just need to find a way to remind ourselves of that."

"We can't just let Vocal Adrenaline get away with turning Rachel into an omelette," Finn insisted.

"We're not," Mr. Shuester promised. He walked over to Rachel saying, "Rachel, dial Jesse's number in your phone." Rachel quickly pulled out her phone and hit her second speed dial.

"You haven't deleted his number yet?" Santana noticed.

"Jesse St. James? Will Shuester here. You and Vocal Adrenaline need to meet at our auditorium, Friday, three sharp." He hung up and handed Rachel back her phone. "Rehearsal tomorrow after school. Vocal Adrenaline is going to meet their match." With that, he stormed out of the room. Rachel looked around sadly before running out of the room.

"Rachel, wait!" Matt called before running after her. He caught up with her just outside the school's doors, grabbing her arm and pulling her to face him. "Hey, it's okay. He's going to pay for what he did to you."

"I don't want them to just feel miserable with whatever awesome number we do," Rachel explained, her fingers fiddling with the ties of his sweatshirt. "I want Jesse to regret breaking up with me. I want it to be his one greatest regret."

"I can help you," Matt offered, his hands hugging the small of her back. "With the number, I'll be your partner and help you. You'll look so damn good that he'll literally beat himself up for how stupid he is." Rachel smiled up at him.

"Really? You'd do that for me?"

"Of course," he smiled back. "Now come on. Let's get to class."

After three days of rehearsal, with extra practice between Matt and Rachel at Rachel's house, they were ready. Vocal Adrenaline took their seats in the audience as New Directions waited in their spots. Finally, Rachel walked to center stage, smirking when she saw her ex-boyfriend's jaw drop at her outfit. The white tank top beneath her olive jacket clung to her body and her red shorts popped against her long, tanned legs.

"Thanks for coming," she stated resentfully, her eyes locked on Jesse. "After your brazen escalation of our growing dispute, which we were willing to put to rest, we decided the only way to truly funkify you is to show you the one thing we know you can't do. So enjoy." She fake smiled and headed to her spot, putting on her hat as she went.

Kurt entered first, singing the first verse in a deep voice very different from his usual work.

Roof off,

We're gonna tear the roof off the mother sucker.

Tear the roof off the sucker.

Tear the roof off,

We're gonna tear the roof off the mother sucker.

Tear the roof off the sucker.

The rest of New Directions began to sing before dancing their way out from behind the screen in their crazy funk outfits. Rachel stood at center stage, keeping her confidence but searching for Matt. When she found him, a crazy look on his face, she smiled and moved closer, singing with a sassy smile on her lips.

You've got a real type of thing going down, getting down.

There's a whole lot of rhythm going round.

You've got a real type of thing going down, getting down.

There's a whole lot of rhythm going round.

They all danced to the choreography, adding in their personal styles here and there. Standing behind him, Rachel looked on in awe of Matt's stylish moves.

We want the funk, give up the funk.

We need the funk, we gotta have that funk.

We want the funk, give up the funk.

We need the funk, we gotta have that funk.

When they paired off, Matt crouched down and danced suggestively with Rachel practically in his lap. They smiled at each other and looked out to see Jesse fuming in his seat.


Doo doo doo doo doo doo doo, ow


Doo doo doo doo doo doo doo, ow

Again, choreography was brought out, with some more style. Rachel had to prevent herself from laughing at Matt's moves, his hips swerving as he slowly descended.

We're gonna turn this mother out.

We're gonna turn this mother out.

We're gonna turn this mother out.

Rachel and Matt moved closer together again, her grabbing his arm as they walked forward before crouching down to watch Quinn do her signature dance move.


Doo doo doo doo doo doo doo, ow

They all began to dance around on their own, letting loose and giving in to the funk. Rachel had a short dance with Mike before they separated off again.

You've got a real type of thing going down, getting down.

There's a whole lot of rhythm going round.

You've got a real type of thing going down, getting down.

There's a whole lot of rhythm going round.

Mercedes held a power note that led into the dance line. Kurt and Finn went by first with their absurd dances.

We want the funk, give up the funk.

We need the funk, we gotta have that funk.

Matt followed next in his usual crazy fashion, Quinn taking the floor next and totally rocking it.

We want the funk, give up the funk.

We need the funk, we gotta have that funk.

Brittany went next, doing some crazy flip, Santana following with Tina right behind her.

We want the funk, give up the funk.

We need the funk, we gotta have that funk.

Rachel pulled her hat off and whipped her hair, walking down the line with Puck doing some floor dance move behind her. She tried not to smirk too much when she saw Jesse looking at her sadly.

We want the funk, give up the funk.

We need the funk, we gotta have that funk.

Artie quickly rolled down before Mike did some crazy move as Mercedes did some spectacular vocal riffs to end the song.

"See you punks at Regionals," Puck said as they all walked off stage, leaving a shocked Vocal Adrenaline in their seats.

Rachel ran off the stage and into Matt's arms, giggling when he spun her around. "That was amazing!" she exclaimed, a bright smile enveloping her face. "Did you see that look on his face when he saw me? Remind me to thank Brittany for helping me pick out this outfit."

"Sure," Matt chuckled. "You look great by the way." Rachel smiled at him, a soft blush flushing her cheeks.

"Thanks Matt," she whispered. "I couldn't have done with without you."

"Yeah, you could have," he shrugged, his eyes casting to the floor. "I'm sure Puck would have helped you."

"Maybe," she replied. "But he's too busy trying to keep Quinn in his life right now. He's a great friend, but in the end, I'm glad it was you that helped me." Matt looked up at her. "You're kind of wonderful, you know that?"

Matt smiled and chuckled. "And you're perfect." Their eyes connected, a spark zapping something deep inside both of them to life. In a flash, their lips had touched, Rachel burying her fingers in his dark curls, Matt's hands holding her flush against him. Just as fast as it had begun, it was over. Matt held her away from him, his head bent down. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that. You just went through a tough break up and-" He was cut off when Rachel's lips crashed onto his.



"You talk too much," she giggled. He chuckled with her and kept his eyes on her as she began to talk again. "Thank you for being so concerned about my emotional well-being, but I assure you it's completely unnecessary. Although I was very distraught at the beginning of this week with what occurred with Jesse, I feel we've been drifting apart for some time. My feelings for him faded immensely after spending so much time with you. You're such a kind soul and somehow you manage to calm the crazy person I tend to be." She brushed her fingertips along the side of his face. "I'd really like it if you kissed me again," she requested with her eyes locked on his.

Without hesitation, Matt's lips found Rachel's again. It was passionate and delicate and full of so much promise, the pair was out of breath for more than just the lack of oxygen.

"Well look at this," a voice said behind them. They turned and saw all of New Directions standing and watching with giant smiles on their faces. Puck was shaking his head slightly from his place next to Mike, his arm around Quinn. "I really should have seen this coming."

"I saw it," Mike shrugged.

"Me too," Brittany stated. "Matt and Rachel look at each other like San and I look at each other." Santana blushed deeply while the rest of their friends laughed around her. "Are you guys going to make soulful babies now?"

Matt and Rachel's eyes widened, their jaws dropping, eliciting hearty laughter from all of their friends. Brittany just shrugged and smiled.

"Hey Matt," Mercedes spoke. The entire group turned to look at her. "Just wanted you to know that if you hurt her, we'll all go all Braveheart on you." Everyone awkwardly laughed, but nodded in agreement.

Matt chuckled, holding Rachel close. "Duly noted." He turned back to Rachel, smiling when he noticed her eyes were on him. "I promise I will never hurt you. I care about you too much," he shrugged, a soft smile playing on his lips. "Will you be mine?" Rachel nodded and pressed her lips to his. In that moment, he couldn't have been more thankful for forgetting his lunch in his car the day that brought her eggy body into his arms.

Definitely not my usual stuff, but I watched that episode while trying to survive the hiatus and couldn't resist noticing the adorableness between Matt and Rachel during that number. (Ahhh I totally miss Dijon!) Anyways, I hope you liked it! Please review! I love you all!