It's been too long, so I'll save the rant for after.


I can't believe it. My best friend, Timmy Turner, committed suicide today. And it's all my fault.

Why did I even make fun of him in the first place? He's always done so much for us, and he's always looked out for us ever since the day we met. There were times when we did fight or neglect o abandon each other, but we always made up in the end. Even that time he treated us like servants, he apologised and warned us about the Power Pals. He didn't deserve to be treated like that.

I watched as the ambulance carried my possibly dead friend away to the hospital. I also watched as my other friend, Chester, had a breakdown after Tootie handed him a copy of Timmy's note. I tried to comfort him but he just gave me a dirty look and walked away. I didn't bother following him, he needed to calm down first. Besides, I didn't want him to lose it all out on me.

The teachers then gathered all of us and sent us back inside. I had no idea why-who could think about anything else than what just happened? If they could ignore it that easily, then they'd either have to be really stupid, or really heartless.

In class, however, it was like we were all at a funeral. Almost everyone was quiet, and some of them seemed to be praying, while the others were crying. Chester kept hitting his desk with his fists and his head as he wept, and I could guess that he was saying that it shouldn't have happened. I agree, and I couldn't stand to see my friend so broken like that. I got up from my seat and slowly walked over to him, since for some strange reason I couldn't move very fast. My legs almost felt numb, and I was wondering if I was even moving at all. I eventually reached him, but as soon as I placed my hand on his shoulder, he threw it off quite harshly. He shot me a death glare, and his eyes were red from crying.

"Chester." I tried to confront him, but he turned away from me.

"Just leave me alone. Chester said, his voice barely above a whisper, before walking away from me.

The rest of the day at school went by in a flash and before I knew it, it was time to go home. I thought then would be the right time to comfort him and make him better.

I sat next to him on the bus, and when he got up to leave, I grabbed his arm and grasped it tightly so he couldn't escape.

"Chester, listen to me. I know you're upset about what happened to Timmy, but there's nothing you can do." I said, and he glared at me again.

"What? You're just giving up on him? After all the things we've done together?" Chester was raising his voice now. "You're a genius; can't you make something that can help him live?"

"Chester, don't be ridiculous." I reassured him, trying to get him to calm down. "I can't just make some miracle elixir or something that would bring him back to life. And of course I care-"

"Then why are you so calm?" he interrupted me. "Why aren't you upset too? Don't you remember who it was that helped you with the Brain-a-thon? Or who spent almost his entire allowance to get you those fancy computers? And who was the one that got your book out of that tree back when we were six?"

That last one really hit me hard. That was the same day Timmy, Chester, and I met and became friends. Ever since then, we've promised to take care for each other…

"You even broke our promise by letting this happen." Chester screamed at the top of his lungs, and it was almost as if he had just read my mind.

I suddenly felt enraged. I'm not sure if it was because Chester was starting to really tick me off, or because I was reminded more of how guilty I was for my best friend's near-death.

Balling my fists, I screamed back at him. "What about you? Why didn't you even try to stop me or defend him when I made fun of him? Or have you also forgotten what he's done for you? Like how he always looked out for you even when they rest of the baseball team-and maybe even the whole town-pelted you with garbage? Or that time when he gave up his popularity just to still be our friends?"

"How about that time he got you two to stop fighting?" Some other voice called out.

Both Chester and I turned our heads to see who spoke up. I was pretty surprised to see it was Gary. How did he know about that?

Before I could ask though, he spoke again. "Tim-Tim and I have been friends way before you guys came along. For many years after, he's still been telling me everything that's has been happening in his life. So I know most of the good times you guys have had together, and I know it must be really hard for both of you." Gary sighed, and then continued. "But there's nothing you guys-or any of us here-can do to fix this. The only thing we can do…is wish." A few tears rolled down his face, and he turned around and slowly trudged back to his own seat.

Everyone kept watching for a while until the bus driver broke the silence by calling out that we had arrived at my stop. While some of the other kids got out of their seats, Chester and I sat back in our seats, and there was an uncomfortable silence between us for the rest of the ride. When the bus finally came to my house, Chester and I both got off and gave one final glance to each other before we parted ways. Chester started walking to the front door of my house. We still didn't say anything to each other, for what was there even left to say?

I opened the door and walked in casually, not to alert my parents or anything. As if on cue, my parents appeared and greeted me home. They seemed to be hiding something behind their fake smiles. Was it-no, there's no way they could know. Is there?

I tried to shake that thought out of my head, and told them I was going up to my room to study. They obliged, but as I just reached the first step they asked me, "Did anything happen at school today?"

I winced, since I was hoping they wouldn't ask me that. I turned around to face them and replied, "Nothing, not at all. Just another normal day of learning." I'm a terrible liar, especially when it came to hiding my emotions, so I'm sure they saw right through me.

My parents looked at each other, and it was that look that meant they were worried about something. "Well, the Turners called and said something about Timmy, but it was hard to tell what they were saying since they were crying so much. Do you know what happened?" Mom asked worriedly, but I was already frozen.

They knew.

They were crying.

But, how? Why?

Suddenly I felt angry again. How could Timmy's parents treat him like that and not expect anything like this to happen?

"It was their own fault! They did this to him." I said aloud, very loud. While my parents were still surprised by my sudden outburst, I bolted up the stairs, locked myself in my room, and burst into tears.

I let go of all the tears I was holding back since I heard the gun fire. I tried to be strong, and I failed. It was just too much for me. He's not a freak; he's a very strong-willed and kind-hearted person. What the heck was wrong with me?

"I'm sorry Timmy!" I cried, hoping that he could somehow hear me. I started sobbing again as I whispered: "I'm so sorry."

I'm not sure how long I spent crying in there, but I am sure that he'll never come back.


Or will he? That won't be revealed until later, much later if things keep happening.

Anyway, I'm very sorry for the long wait. It's been nearly five months since I last posted anything here. At first I didn't know what to write, plus I had lots of things coming at me too fast, but eventually I found time to write this. Unfortunately, since I write my fanfics in a journal before I type them, it took even longer to get this posted. My little brother had his birthday last week and we waited until the last minute to get all the stuff. Plus other times I had big projects/tests, like making a model of an Aztec Empire out of Styrofoam, building a catapult (fail), the All Science Challenge (look it up on google for those who don't know), and a French designer project. Now that it's all over and summer's coming up, I might have more time for writing. Unfortunately, it also means I have finals to study for. Well, I still have at least a month.

BTW, thank bbst for helping me with ideas on how to continue this.

Please read & review!