35Quinn stayed in her room until the next morning. She walked out of her room, expecting to see Sam sprawled out on the couch. She didn't.
"Sam..?" She looked in his room but it was empty. The sheets were folded and there were no clothes on the floor. Was he cleaning again? No way. He must be at work or something.. where is he? She looked around but didn't see him. She did see a small white piece of paper folded up and taped to the door. Quinn bit her lip and looked at it as if it was a threat to her. She hesitantly walked over to it. She could now read that it had a faint 'Q' written on it in pencil.
Quinn opened it slowly and did her best to make out the scribbly handwriting.
Quinn,
Hey its Sam. I guess you figured that out because obviously nobody else was in your apartment.. anyways I wanted to apologize. I was totally out of line. I shouldn't have come here and messed everything up even more. It was a stupid idea for me to say yes to moving in here with u. I've kinda loved you since the day I met u. And I never stopped. That's why I moved here, not just because of work. I moved back into the motel I was at before I moved here. I'm gonna try and get a job there on the side so it'll be cheaper to live there. I'm so sorry I fucked things up for us Q, I don't think you'll ever understand. I hate leaving but I know it's the right thing for u. I'll stay away from u, Q, I promise. Don't worry about me, k? I'm so sorry.
Sam
Quinn stared at the note. He was gone. He'd left. He loved her. She was never going to see him again. A quiet sob rocked her body forward and she collapsed onto the couch in tears. She'd screwed everything up again. She had let her feelings get in the way of something that could have been great. Curling up into a ball, she quickly cried herself to sleep again.
It was bitterly cold outside. Sam was wearing a long business jacket and standing on the corner of a street, waiting for the sign to light up that it was his turn to walk. That had been something Sam had always done. Whenever he felt tense or emotionally exhausted, he'd take a walk to clear his mind. It was too much for him, not seeing Quinn everyday. Not waking up to her rushing around the apartment to get to work on time. He'd so quickly become accustomed to her lifestyle. He missed it. He missed her. Still he pushed on and told himself that she didn't matter, that she was just a girl.
She wasn't just a girl.
It's Quinn Fabray. The beautiful girl who Sam has been in love with since he was a sophomore in high school. She had beautiful eyes that he could so easily get lost in. Every time that they shared glances he could feel his knees wobble. Her laugh sounded like magic would, if magic had a sound. He couldn't describe the feelings that he felt when he was with her. He could only use one word: Love.
But of course he told himself that he was silly, that he'd get over her. Sam thought for sure that leaving to live somewhere else would be the best thing for Quinn. Although it killed him inside knowing that she would be happy without him, and though it killed him knowing that he would never see her again. Leaving was the right thing for her, and he wanted Quinn to be happy more than he cared for his own happiness. His biggest problem was that every time that he wasn't thinking of her and he was in a semi-normal mood, he would think of her and become instantly lonely and upset. Just remembering how her lips felt on his was enough to make him want to cry like a little boy. He knew that it wasn't something that tough or manly people would feel, but he couldn't fix it, couldn't change it. He couldn't help how he was feeling. If he could, leaving would have been a lot easier.
The following week was a struggle for the both of them. Neither of them could shake the thought of each other from their minds. Quinn had called and texted Sam multiple times and left plenty of voicemails. She knew that he always had his phone with him, she knew that he was ignoring him, but she told herself that maybe her calls just weren't going through. Sam had left on a Sunday, it was now Wednesday. She picked up her cell phone and gathered the covers around her, calling him for the first time since Monday. The phone rang five times before going to his voicemail. She held the phone closer to her ear, missing his voice. She felt almost stupid for relying on hearing his voice, as if he was actually going to answer. She savored the minute of him talking before the small beep came, signaling that it was time to leave a message. Quinn froze then, she did every time, realizing that she hadn't planned out anything to say.
"Hi, um, this is Quinn..." Sam heard a familiar voice almost whisper over the phone. He was at work, she'd called his work phone. He had been looking through papers when the phone had rang, and he'd ignored it, knowing that it was her. He could hear the voicemail as she was leaving it.
"I just, um.." He heard her sigh on the other line. "I just wanted to say hi I guess." Sam's lips fell into a frown. He hated hearing her like this. She sounded like she'd been crying. She sounded so tired. She sighed again. "Call me back, please. Please call me back." Sam hated himself in that moment, he could practically hear the tears in her voice. "I really really want to talk to you.. I don't know if you got my other voicemails.. but, I just.." There was a long pause. "I just really want to talk to you. If you get this, please call me back." There was a click of the phone, and then it was over. Sam groaned and put this face in his hands, feeling his throat tighten up. He knew that she missed him, that was clear, but he couldn't make himself come to terms with it. Part of him still felt that she was better off without him.
Quinn lay in her bed, buried entirely by covers. She'd had a small tantrum in which she flailed her arms and legs about, flopping around the bed angrily. It hadn't entirely been in anger, mostly in sorrow. In all honesty, there is no anger without a hint of sorrow in the middle.
She sighed, catching her breath after throwing herself around like that. Although it had been childish, she had to admit that it'd helped. She was still angry with herself, angry that she'd let them kiss each other. Part of her felt as if she could have kept it from happening. Then everything would still be normal, right? Yeah, awkward tension... not being able to sit near each other, tension. Normal. Quinn scoffed to herself. They were bound to kiss eventually anyways, but she didn't have to throw a fit and go hide in her room. That was her fault.
Everything had been perfect, then Sam had left. Because of her. Because Quinn put herself first again, just like last time. She was so angry with herself. All she ever did was screw things up, she never did things right. Despite that what she'd done had hurt her, now Sam was hurt, too. And that was her fault as well. Quinn screamed loudly into her pillow, holding it around the sides of her face, trying to block out the scream that was still shooting through her mind.
When Sam went back to his crappy motel room that night, he was exhausted. His day had been long and agonizing.. it was just one of those days. His current situation with Quinn didn't exactly help either. He dropped his coat and his bag at the door and practically collapsed onto his stiff bed. His cell phone, which he had left at home, was still on his bedside table where he'd left it. Sam sat up slightly to look at it. One new voicemail. He sighed again and turned his phone off, putting a pillow over his face. If he knew anything at all, he knew that he missed Quinn. Apparently, she missed him too. He turned off the lights and got into comfier clothes. Sam headed to bed that night with one thought for certain: Tomorrow, he was going to see Quinn.
In the morning of the next day, Sam paced around his room. Today was going to be tricky, he knew that, but he also knew that Quinn was going to have a hard time seeing him. As much as she missed him, if she did, he was worried that she was also mad at him. Why shouldn't she be? He'd ignored all of her calls, texts, voicemails. He'd kissed her and then he'd left. She was probably ready to slit his throat. One thing was for sure, he had to be calm. If she raised her voice, he couldn't. That would be a very bad idea on his part.
Sam dressed himself in the usual plaid shirt and jeans and hopped into his car, making a rather familiar drive to Quinn's apartment building. It had been about a week since he'd seen her, but to him it almost felt like it had been years. As he made his way up to the apartment that was now only Quinn's, he felt his hands start to shake. He tried to steady his breathing as the elevator went up, but it didn't do much help. Once Sam had gotten to the door, he couldn't bring himself to knock. He stood there for a minute, shaking his hands and marching his legs, just trying to gain the courage to knock in the door. He stared at the door and winced a few times before knocking quickly and then running halfway down the hallway before turning back around and standing in front of the door just in time for it to be opened.
Quinn stared blankly at the boy standing in front of her. Her mind was flurried with emotions. The first thing that came to her mind was actually that she couldn't believe she was only wearing a shirt and sweatpants and he was standing in front of her. Second, she was wondering why he was even there in front of her. Why did he suddenly want to talk to her after he'd been ignoring her for so long?
"W-What are you-" As Quinn opened her mouth to ask why he had come, her lips were instantly met with something else. Sam wasn't able to control himself from moving towards were and capturing her lips with his own. If he had been able to think before he'd acted, he would've realized that kissing her was a terrible idea considering that that was the way he'd upset her in the first place. Quinn sighed blissfully against his lips and instinctively moved closer to him, making fists with the hem of his shirt. Sam kissed her as deeply as he possibly could, keeping a hand on either side of her face. She pulled him closer to her by the bottom of his shirt and wrapped her arms around his neck. She placed a hand on the back of his head and pushed their lips together as much as possible. They remained like that for a long time before Quinn dragged him back to her room and shut the door.
A bit of a cliffhanger, sorry! Also as you can tell this is really just a filler chapter. I'm going on a small New Years trip over to Massachusetts, but I'm going to work on a chapter while I'm there and update when I come back. (I'm not bringing my laptop with me). My New Years Resolution, believe it or not, is to write and update more! This story should be coming to an end pretty soon, maybe two or three more chapters left. But I'm working on a new story already! So don't worry:) Thank you guys for sticking with me and my awful updating~!