Me: Hey guys~! This is really a revamped version of a comedy I had done in 2007 and decided to edit it since most of it was in script form. Now, it's in prose~! :D Of course, I'll try not to make them too wordy or anything, or that might be unappealing for you guys.^_^;
Narrator: So for now, here's the first chapter, and we hope you enjoy it…and the resulting insanity and headache-inducing confusion this 'thing' standing next to me is bound to cause.
Who are we glomping? Tahu Nuva
Where? Tren Krom Break
Static fills the air for a moment before the camera flicks on, revealing a Toa of Gravity as he stares at the camera in confusion. "Hey, kid, what's the red light mean again?" he asked as he looked off to the side.
"And please call me Shayinko, or even just 'Shay'," a young female voice replied back. "And that means it's recording,"
"Oh!" the Toa of Gravity gasped, juggling the camera in his hands for a moment before he lifts it up and points it at a young human girl that's standing next to a Toa of Plasma. "Okay, ready!"
"What's the point of all this again?" the Toa of Plasma asked in confusion as he looked down at the short human.
Shay chuckled as she said, "It's supposed to be like a documentary of sorts, where we record someone in their natural habitat before they get glomped and the steps that are necessary to do so."
The Toa of Plasma blinked as he stared at her for a moment before he asked, "What's a 'glomp'?"
She sighed as she pulled a dictionary from behind her back—which was odd, as she wasn't wearing a pack—and began leafing through the pages until she came across a specific page. "Glomp: noun. To hug someone with sheer amounts of affection and adoration. It can be performed in a variety of ways and styles, and it is extremely difficult to remove the glomper from the victim."
Snapping the book shut, she tossed it away—and cringing when it shattered a window and a cat screeched. "Uh…yeah…that's the basic definition of it," she said to the camera before pointing somewhere behind her. "And I think we should move…now."
"Why?" the Toa of Gravity asked from behind the camera.
"MY GLASS COLLECTION!!" a voice roared in rage, causing the girl to stiffen in fear before she grabbed the Toa of Plasma's hand and bolted.
"Run! Kopaka's on a rampage!" she screamed.
The camera suddenly became encased in ice, landing in the sand and showing a Toa of Ice chasing the three before it turned to static.
/Two Hours Later/
The camera came back on, showing Shay frowning at it in annoyance. "Dang it…this is the third camera this week," she grumbled as she handed it back to the Toa of Gravity. "If this keeps up I could pay for college twice!"
"Quit complaining," the Toa of Plasma grumbled, sporting a new bruise under his eye and his arm in a cast. "At least he spared you from any pain after he chased us half-way across the island."
"I'm still shocked that he kept up with us for that long," she replied with a weird-ed out expression on her face. "Anyway, now that that's out of the way, LET'S GET TO GLOMPING!"
She shoves a stack of papers into the Toa of Plasma's hand and said, "You get to be the Narrator, who explains all the steps to the readers!"
He blinks at her for a moment and said, "What 'readers'? We're recording something with a camera!"
"Details, details," she shrugged. "Just read the tips."
The Narrator sighs as he holds up the paper and reads, "Our first target for today is a Toa of Fire named Tahu Nuva. Step one: find out where he likes to relax or just be alone."
"Here's my favorite part," the human grinned. "Time for a wipe!"
Before anyone could react, she reached off the screen of the camera and pulled, a sheet of reds and browns appearing as she moved it to the other side of the screen, showing her and the Narrator now standing on the outside of the Tren Krom Break. The Narrator blinked in shock and disbelief as he slowly turned to her and asked, "W-What just happened? How in Mata Nui's name did we get from Po-Koro and into Ta-Wahi?"
"A wipe," she replied. "It's a comedy thing where you can change scenes quickly, like in a flashback. Oh look, there's Tahu! Quick, hide!"
She yanked him and the camera-Toa down behind a stone column, carefully poking her head out as she watched the Spirit of Fire. He seemed to be thinking of something, most likely about an argument that he and Gali had. "Read the next tip," she whispered.
The Narrator sighed as he held up the script again, saying, "Step two: make sure that you have scouted the area and that there is no one around to warn your target. Then, make sure you find a good hiding place where you won't overshoot or land both of you in something unpleasant."
Shay had disappeared from the Narrator's side, causing him to blink as he looked out and saw her peeking out from behind a much smaller rock. Eyes darting this way and that, she zipped to another rock and disappeared from sight.
He sighed and pressed his mask into his hand before he looked at the script again. "Step three: once you have a clear shot, think of something to shout so that he either won't think your attacking him, or just to be random."
A thumbs-up appeared from behind the rock before it disappeared again when Tahu walked by. Once he had passed it, the rock lifted up to reveal a pair of eyes beneath it. Raising an eye-ridge at this odd behavior, the Narrator looked at the list again and blinked. "Step four…'attack'?" he read in confusion.
Tahu whirled around in shock as the human shot out from beneath the rock, yelling before grunting in surprise when she tackled him in the middle. "What the slag?" he roared as he glared down at the human, attempting to pry her off his torso. "Let go of me!"
She giggled and shook her head. "No~!" she chirped. "You need your daily dose of hugs and glomps, or your day won't be complete!"
Tahu growled at her in annoyance before he looked up, spotting the Narrator and the Camera Toa still hiding behind the rock. "That thing better not go on the air," he ground out, "or you two are deadwhen I get her off!"
Me: Just because he told them that, doesn't mean it applies to me. XD
Narrator: You're just tryingto get us killed, aren't you?
Me: No, that just comes with the job description. Besides, you guys go through the same hazardous situations as Toa, what's so different about this?
Narrator: The fact that they're caused by you?
Me: Oh hush… *turns to the audience* So, tell me what you think~! Yes, this is a rewritten chapter from my old comedy, but this might be the only one unless you guys want me to rewrite another old chapter/skit. If you guys have any suggestions for who to glomp next, feel free to let me know, and if I like it enough, I might just be tempted to write it~! Oh, and just so you know, Shay is not my name, it's a name that I gave to a character I created long ago and just finally decided to name her. Oh, and also, if you wish to guest star, just send me a note or something and I'll see if I have time to squeeze you in, alright? ;P
Narrator: *coughs* Aren't you forgetting something?
Me: *lightbulb goes off* Oh yeah! Next chapter guest stars InTheLight-Hija~! :D PREPARE FOR INSANITY! *cackles before hook comes in and yanks me off stage*
Narrator: *sighs and looks at you all* That's all folks, nothin' to see here.