I refuse to start this story off with "She was just so different!" or "She stood apart from all other girls" or "She was one of a kind" because I am the King of Brooklyn and I do not write sappy romance stories. Okay?

Hey, Spot, cool it, kid.

Tigress-! Ugh, stop kissing me like that! I'm trying to tell a story here, and- okay, fine, but now be quiet, would you?

Okay. Good. So, even though it's true that Tigress was different and stood apart and was one of a kind… I'm not actually gonna say that to start this da- er, this thing off.

Sorry 'bout that, Tigress.

So anyway. Okay, I was your typical street rat bum, and she was… gorgeous. You know?

Spot, stop lying to the poor audience. I'm not gor-

Tigress, shut up, okay? You're gorgeous. Shut up.

Okay, so, I'm gonna start with the first chapter, and you guys sit tight and listen or I'll soak ya. Okay?


Okay, okay, Tigress! Stop it already!

You don't have to sit tight and listen and I won't soak ya if you don't. Okay, Tigress? Ya satisfied?

Sure, Spot. I'm satisfied.

Okay. Thank you. Now you may kiss me.