This my first spoof fanfic. This is a spoof of the Darkest Hour (one of my favourite books). It's going to be about seven chapters long... I know it's short, but I skip out a lot of stuff...

Please review after reading!


Fireheart was dragging Bluestar's body through the forest. Greystripe, Stonefur, and Mistyfoot accompanied him. They all plodded along in silence. After a while, Fireheart stopped and put Bluestar's body down.

"Ugh, Bluestar is so heavy!" he cursed.

Suddenly a cat appeared. It was see-through and hovered like a ghost. It was Bluestar.

"I am not heavy! I've been on a diet for ages!" she growled, "This just proves that all my hard work was for nothing! I'm in a huff with you!" Bluestar then vanished.

The four cats acted like nothing had happened. Fireheart picked up Bluestar's body again and they started moving, yet again in silence. It continued like that until they arrived at the camp entrance. Fireheart put Bluestar's body down.

"I'm just going to check the camp on my own," Fireheart meowed. He turned to Greystripe, "Is that okay with you?"

Greystripe replied in a non-sarcastic voice, "You know Fireheart, despite the fact that there could be dogs in there that would rip you apart in seconds and leave our clan leaderless, I'm willing to let you go in alone," he meowed.

"Thanks Greystripe," Fireheart replied, "It's always good to know I can rely on you."

Fireheart padded into camp alone. He checked each den for dogs and found that there were none anywhere. He was about to exit the camp when he spotted a pebble. As if it was a bomb, he cautiously approached it and turned it over. One of the massive dogs was underneath it. It leaped at Fireheart.


Greystripe, Mistyfoot, and Stonefur rushed into camp and helped Fireheart fight off the dog. They successfully chased it away. They then sat down, breathing heavily.

"Greystripe?" Fireheart asked, "Can you go and tell the rest of the clan it's okay for them to return to camp? I also need you to tell them that Bluestar is dead."

Greystripe pouted. "Why do I have to tell them the bad news?" He suddenly brightened up, "Can I sing them a song to cheer them up?"

Fireheart sighed. "I don't care. Just tell them."

"YAY!" Greystripe left, skipping with glee.

"It's easy to see where his loyalties lie," Stonefur commented.

Fireheart jumped in surprise. "God Stonefur! You gave me a fright! I almost forgot you existed because you haven't said anything. Oh well, you're going to die anyway, so who cares? And what do you mean, it's easy to see where Greystripe's loyalties lie? I don't think it's easy."

"It's very obvious," Stonefur meowed.

Fireheart looked puzzled. "With who?" he asked.

"Doctor Who," Stonefur replied. (Doctor Who is a British TV show)

"Who is Doctor Who?" Fireheart asked in confusion.

"No one knows," Stonefur replied mysteriously.

"I think we should put Bluestar's body in her den," Mistyfoot meowed.

Fireheart nodded. "Yes, we should," he meowed. He was about to go but then he stopped and stared at Mistyfoot in confusion. "Why are you called Mistyfoot?"

"Because my feet are misty…" she replied in embarrassment.

Fireheart and Stonefur stared at her feet and sure enough, they were covered in mist.

"So you do," Fireheart meowed.

Stonefur looked completely shocked. "I'm your brother and I never knew that!" he meowed in amazement.

"That just shows how well you two know each other," Fireheart meowed happily.

Fireheart went and dragged Bluestar's body into her den. He turned to Stonefur and Mistyfoot.

"Do you want to pay your respects to Bluestar?" he asked them.

"No. We still hate her," Stonefur replied.

"Yeah, even though we told her we didn't when she was dying," Mistyfoot added.

Suddenly a ghost cat appeared. It was Bluestar.

"Thanks for lying to me!" Bluestar meowed in a sarcastic and annoyed voice.

"Your welcome," Stonefur replied happily.

Bluestar then disappeared.

"We should go now," Mistyfoot meowed.

At that moment all of ThunderClan arrived in camp. They stopped in their tracks when they saw Fireheart, Stonefur, and Mistyfoot.

"Who are they?" Dustpelt asked.

"Bluestar's kits," Fireheart replied.

"Oh, right," Dustpelt meowed, "What happened to Bluestar?"

"She somehow managed to drag an entire pack of dogs into the gorge," Fireheart replied with no emotion in his voice, "She then drowned."

"That's nice. How about we all go back to clan life and pretend that Bluestar never existed?" Dustpelt suggested.

"Yeah," Fireheart replied.

So there you go! Not the most funny of chapters (I have something hilarious planned for Scourge ;D ).

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