Disclaimer: Everworld belongs to KAA and/or Scholastic. This sotry belongs to me.
A/n: I realize this is a bit sappier than Jalil is likely to get, but, I couldn't resist!Thoughts
I looked at April through half-lidded eyes. I was concerned for her safety.
I know you'll say, "Ya, Jalil, she's one of your little band of four people in Everworld, you have to be concerned for her." But it's not like that, really. I mean, if David was hurt or had just given blood to a long-dead Knight of the Round Table named Sir Galahad who couldn't possibly exist because nothing like Everworld can exist in nature, yes, I'd be worried. But I was worried above and beyond how much I would be afraid for David's sake. This was April. If she was hurt I-
Anyway. Where did THAT thought come from? I berated myself.
You know, you idiot. The part of you that is attracted to April.
Yes, I am attracted to April. But, I don't know, I'm not supposed to feel that way! Dammit! I can't feel that way. It endangers me, and if she found out about-
About that! A voice in me screamed. You're afraid of her finding out that! Lest it make her think less of you, and you know you can't live without her!
Feeling somehow that April knew what I was thinking, I turned back to my conversation with her.
"Don't worry. We still have Gawain."
Then I dropped her hand, and walked quickly out of the tent.
Tell her, you idiot! A voice raged inside of me. There is a good chance you won't live through this battle! You have to let her know!
But some part of me rebelled, refused. I had seen the way she looked at Galahad, the way she talked about him. She was falling for him, badly. And it might hurt her, if I told her. It might force her and Galahad apart, and I couldn't do that. It would make her unhappy.
If there's one thing I can't do, it's make her unhappy.
So I turned my back, and left her.
And all I could do was pray. But, as my mind turned towards the upcoming battle with the trolls, I had only one thought.
For you, April. For you and to protect the man you love. To make you happy.
For you, April.