12A/N: I was recently enjoying some chocolate candies that have little sayings inside the foil wrapper. As I have enjoyed these candies over the past week or so, I have thought from time to time that some of them would make an excellent jumping off place for a fan fic. This story was inspired by one that reads "Forget the rules and play by heart."
There might be a minor hankie alert for this story (or it could just be that I am anxious for Season 7 to start tonight).
Disclaimer: I do not own Bones. I do not own Booth. I do not own the Mars chocolate company. I'm grateful that I don't have to choose between any of them.
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She's the logical one, the rational one, the scientist. For all her life - well, ever since she was 15 and found it necessary to protect herself- she has made decisions using her brain. It was safer that way. It was less painful that way.
Although it has been many years, she can still remember everything about that Christmas morning when she woke up and her parents were gone. She remembers the crunch of the snow when a car drove past the house and running to the window to see if it was them coming home. They wouldn't just leave her. How could they just leave her?
But at least she had her brother. She knew in her heart that he would take care of her. He is her big brother, after all, and that's what big brothers do.
Then he was gone too, and her heart was crushed. She didn't understand how he could just leave. He knew she had been devastated by their parents leaving, didn't he know how that would affect her, that she would wind up in the system? How could he just go? That was the first time she realized that while physical pain goes away, the pain that one feels emotionally is the pain that comes back to haunt. The hurts that rise up when she least expects them, usually in the middle of the night, it's those that hurt the most.
Without even knowing that she had made the decision, that was when she decided that she would wall off that part of her heart. If she didn't let anyone in, she would not be hurt. She made the decision and she moved on.
He's the heart guy. Although they are perhaps not the words that he would use to describe himself, he is sentimental and romantic. He presents himself to the world as an alpha-male, but people who know him well, know that he's got heart under his tough guy facade.
His life was not any less devastating than hers. He grew up in a home with an alcoholic father who took out his anger and rage on those closest to him. He adored his mother, and didn't understand how she could just leave them behind. He knows now that she had to save herself, but she must have known that her husband would take it out on the two boys she left behind.
Where she went into the foster system and all that entailed, he had a grandfather that saved him, that took him and his little brother into his home. He went to high school and excelled at sports. Without even knowing that he had made a decision, that was when he decided that he would be the best. He would prove to his drunken father that all the things shouted at him in a drunken rage aren't true. Although the physical pain is long past, the threats and accusations come to mind when he least expects them, so he would prove that his father was wrong.
He joined the military and the same determination that had made him so good at sports in high school he funneled into doing the best in his unit. He became a marksman and an integral part of his team. Then he became a sniper. It allowed him to hold himself apart from others, not to let them get too close. After he mustered out, he finished college and applied to the FBI. With determination, his heart, and his gut he has worked his way up through the ranks of the FBI just as he did in the military.
He remembers early in their relationship when he first learned she had been in the system and she told him that she had a grandfather that got her out. He knows differently now, and although she hasn't shared a lot, he knows enough to know some of what she experienced. Now he knows that she aged out and that what saved her was her brain. She got a scholarship to college, worked while going to school and went on to a graduate program. She channeled all of that same determination that kept her heart walled off from the world into her studies and her research. She became the best in her field.
They've worked together for six years. She is the scientist. He is the FBI guy. She uses her brain. He uses his gut and his heart. They've been attracted to each other since their first meeting. Depending on when you ask them, they would each have different reasons for denying their feelings for each other over the years. He was in a relationship. She was all about satisfying biological urges. He draws a line. She protects her heart.
He is an honorable man. He has a set of principles by which he lives. He does not cheat. He allowed himself to take a gamble and she turned him down. She left for the other side of the world – it's what one does when everything seems threatened. It's not a conscious thought, but she's lived with it for so long now, she knows that she has to protect her heart. He doesn't understand and responds by protecting his heart as well.
She returns ready to make a commitment. He has moved on. One would think that hope has been lost. But everything happens eventually, even them. His heart is broken again and he is angry. But she stands by him and endures his wrath. He tells her the options he offers, she makes a decision and they start moving in the same direction, sometimes going so slowly, it seems like they are going backwards.
Someone from his past threatens everything that he holds dear. He does what he does best. He rises to the occasion and protects his family and friends. When a family member is lost, he strengthens his resolve and is fierce in his protection of her.
She acquiesces because he is resolute. She knows by the way he has said it that the topic is not open for discussion. He can tell she is hurting and he wants to comfort her, but is afraid of being rebuffed. She physically aches and can't find a name for what she is feeling. This is beyond a crushed heart. She makes a decision even though she is afraid of crossing his line. He opens his arms and welcomes her in and she accepts his offer. His heart melts and hers opens.
And here they are. They have crossed the line. They have damned the torpedoes (she doesn't know quite what that means, but will ask him to explain it to her). In spite of all the obstacles they put in their own way as well as each others, here they are. Two hearts have come together. The scientist and the FBI guy. The guy that believes in God and goes to church on Sunday and the atheistic scientist. It's not rational and it doesn't make sense. But apparently it doesn't have to.
They forget the rules (or set them aside) and play by heart (and so we move into Season 7).
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I would love it if you would take a minute to review. This is a different style for me, I hope it works.