Fanfic: Struggles She Faced, Chances He Took Ch 2, Victorious

Struggles She Faced, Chances He Took

Digidestend Angel

I do NOT own Victorious

Chapter Two

Her Guard Is Up and He Knows Why

…

I walked into the black box theatre, in hopes Cat was there, since I have been searching all over the school since the bell rang about 20 minutes ago.

It's been a month since my break up with Jade, officially one month since Cat and I became best friends and practically glued to the hip. It may sound clingy, but I was never without her, unless it was time to call it a day at the end of the day. It always kills me inside when I have to drop her off at her house that she shared with her older brother, who is a strange man. I just wanted to be near her 24/7, to make sure no one touched her.

And also…it was like she completed me.

Cat had spilled her heart out to me –still through text message- about two weeks ago, and it seriously made me tear up as she cried into my chest, but she had made no sound. After her explanation, it was obvious: she was absolutely terrified of the world. She witnessed her parents being murdered, and not to mention, her mother was raped before her eyes as well. Her mother had hidden Cat under the bed in their room, while the killer came in and killed them both. Her brother just so happened to be at a friend's house that night.

The killer was never found.

And that left Cat to forever be haunted by her nightmares that the man who destroyed her family would come back and finish her off.

And when she wrote to me while crying, I couldn't help, but go into a furious rage. I didn't dare show Cat how angry I was, but to hell would I let the man that ruined her life hurt her! No one was going to lay a finger on Cat Valentine, as long as she's best friends with the overprotective Beck Oliver.

Never.

I couldn't hold back the sigh from relief when I saw Cat on the piano. She still made no sound to sing, but her piano playing was wonderful. I felt as if I was floating up to heaven. Suddenly she stopped. She grabbed the pencil she had apparently placed behind her ear to hold it there and write something on a book of blank music sheets.

Oh yeah, I couldn't hold back my smile.

Nobody in the world, including me, had any idea if Cat could sing, but she sure could dance, act, and she wrote the most beautiful music to the most creative lyrics she wrote, or our friend Andre Harris would work with her. I have a feeling one day that I'll hear Cat sing. I'll bet anything. Why? Because I'm going to help her, that's why.

Duh-dum

I snap out of my thoughts and subconsciously checked my phone and saw a message from Cat, who was staring at me with an amused smile. I read the text.

"Is your head in the clouds today, Beck? Heehee…"

I noticed she was motioning for me to come to her, so I dropped my backpack on one of the seats and walked up the steps, and took a seat next to her on the piano seat. "My head in the clouds, huh?" I poked her stomach, making her smile bigger. That always worked. "Sorry, but I'm not you, Cat."

Cat's mouth opened, faking being offended, and she grabbed her phone again, texting me.

Duh-dum

I looked at my phone to read her text again.

"Not nice!"

I chuckle as I look to Cat's songbook and saw that not only did she have notes on there for the song she was making, but lyrics were to them as well. "Writing a song?"

Cat nodded, blushing a bit.

I nudge her playfully. "Why are you blushing?"

Cat shrugged, blushing even more.

I grinned. "Can you play it for me?"

Cat nodded. She put her hands on the keys and began playing the song she had finished so far, but no sound or hum came from her. Nothing at all. And nothing ever did. Once Cat finished, she looked to me, and I gave her a smile, and then sighed.

"Cat…I think you should sing it."

And suddenly, Cat's eyes left mine and faced her lap. Her tiny fists clenched on her lap.

I gulp. "You don't have to perform it or something like that. I…I want to hear your voice, Cat." I put a strand of lose hair behind her ear, and she only flinched a little at my touch. She was getting better, trust me. "I bet your voice is beautiful and sweet."

Now I feel absolutely guilty.

I saw a tear slide down her cheek and fall onto her hands.

"Oh, no, no, Cat." I wrapped my arms around her, but she didn't seem to respond to my hold, like usual. "I'm so sorry. Dammit, I'm sorry!" I held her close, kissing her on the head as I felt her shoulders shake and my shirt getting wet where her face was.

I made her cry.

That's real nice, Beck, you flippin' idiot!

Shakily, she took one arm out of my hold and she took the book of songs she used a lot, as I saw the pages used and rigged. She turned the pages back a few pages and then handed the book to me. She pointed to the title and I figured out that she was telling me to read it.

I cry in the corner where nobody sees

I'm the kid with the story no one would believe

I've prayed every-night

"Dear God, wont you please

Send someone here who will love me?"

Who will love me for me?

Not for what I have done

Or what I will become

Who will love me for me?

Cause nobody has shown me

What love…what love really means

What love really means

My world is shrinking a little each day

I'm the girl who's brother has runaway

I go to the gym after school today

Maybe if I was thinner, then he would've stayed?

Who will love me for me?

Not for what I have done

Or what I will become

Who will love me for me?

Cause nobody has shown me

What love…what love really means

What love really means

I'm waiting to die as I sit all alone

I'm the girl in the room who regrets what I've done

I utter a cry from the depths of my soul,

"Oh Lord, forgive me…I wanna go home"

And then I heard a voice

Somewhere…deep inside

And it said

"I know you've attempted suicide…

And…I know you've died inside…

And I've watched you suffer…all of your life

And now that you've listened…

I'll…I'll tell you that I…

I will love you for you

Not for what you have done

Or what you will become

I will love you for you

I will give you the love,

The love you never knew

Love you for you

Not for what you have done

Or what you will become

I will love you for you

I will give you the love…

The love that you never knew…"

By Caterina Hannah Valentine

I put one of my hands over my mouth in disbelief that Cat had suffered so much, and all alone, since she was a little girl. Where the hell was I? Oh yeah, I've had a rich, cozy life.

Cat suddenly took the notebook from my hands, but turned it to another page, and then gave it right back to me.

I just didn't know if I could take another song that reflected her past life, but she wants me to. If it helps me understand her reasons better, then okay. I'll read on.

If I wasn't here tomorrow
Would anybody care
If my time was up I wanna know
You were happy I was there
If I wasn't here tomorrow
Would anyone lose sleep
If I wasn't hard and hollow
Then maybe you would miss me

I know I'm a mess and I wanna be someone
Someone that I like better
I can never forget
So don't remind me of it forever

What if I just pulled myself together
Would it matter at all
What if I just try not to remember
Would it matter at all
All the chances that have passed me by
Would it matter if I gave it one more try
Would it matter at all

If I wasn't here tomorrow
Would anybody care
Still stuck inside this sorrow
I've got nothing and going nowhere

I know I'm a mess and I wanna be someone
Someone that I like better
I can never forget
So don't remind me of it forever

I know I'm a mess and I wanna be someone
Someone that I like better
Can you help me forget
Don't wanna feel like this forever...forever

If I live tomorrow
Would anybody care
Stuck in this sorrow
Going nowhere

All the chances that have passed me by
Would it matter if I gave it one more try
Would it matter at all

By Caterina Valentine

I dropped the notebook into my lap and pulled Cat closed to me, making her jerk out of fear, but she laid her head against my chest a few seconds later. I kept his arms around her tightly, and I just didn't want to let her go. "It would matter if you were here tomorrow, Cat." I whispered into her ear, tears threatening to fall from my eyes. I don't know how much longer I'll be able to keep them there. "And I'll show you what love means, Cat."

Cat pulled away a bit, but not much because I kept a strong hold around her waist, and she grabbed her pencil, writing a note on the notebook.

Do you mean that?

Just to show her I truly mean what I say, I gently take the pencil out of her hand, and then I write a note back.

More than you'll ever know.

I do NOT own JJ Heller's Song, or Skillet's song.

Llama (Yes, it was originally called that, but I changed it to go with my theme of the chapter titles. But yay, someone actually reads stuff on my profile! Thank you!), Girlygirl17, beveryafraid, Jeremy Shane, James888, Songbird341, lankyafricankid, Smiles, and LuPeters: Thanks guys for your reviews :) ya'll are awesome.

And for those who read "Live Free or Let Me Die", I don't think I'll be updating tonight because I've only gotten 6 reviews for the last chapter…yes, I'm very concerned there. Usually I have 10 or more by now…and we said 10 reviews, so we'll see what happens.

Please review again! Reviews cheer a 7 month pregnant girl up real fast! Heehee. No flames though…

Keep a look out for chapter 3: Her Everyday Reality

-Digidestend Angel-

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