Undoubtedly, Logan's favorite color was green.
But it wasn't just any green. His favorite shade varied. Some days he found himself more partial to bright, emerald green with a mischievous, sarcastic glint to it. Other days he found himself favoring soft, spring green with a hint of a cheery blue sky.
His least favorite shade never changed, though.
When he saw a beautiful jade shade of green clouded and not as vibrant – as if clouded by sadness – he found that shade heartbreaking.
Logan never understood why his taste in shades of green was so fickle sometimes, or why a shadowed, dimmed green broke his heart so much. But he did notice that it tended to rest on whatever shade of emerald his best friend Kendall Knight's eyes were each day.
Now Logan could swear on his life that he wasn't gay. He liked the spontaneous kisses that Camille attacked him with when she was practicing for a part.
Or maybe he just liked spontaneity.
He liked scouting for girls with James and Carlos by the Palmwoods Pool.
Or maybe he just liked the pool.
He especially liked the idea of going to Palmwoods Park and picnicking with a girl on a colorful blanket on a lovely summer day.
Or maybe he just liked colorful blankets, summer, and the idea of a picnic.
But he loved confidence. He loved fierce loyalty to friends. He loved dreamers who not only dreamt, but also chased those dreams.
And he had always been partial to blondes with dimples, contagious laughs, and quirky, lopsided smirks.
Logan couldn't be blamed for the fact that all of those qualities he loved just so happened to describe Kendall perfectly. But he would never admit it or acknowledge it…because Logan Mitchell is not gay. And Kendall is his best friend.
But lately, Logan found himself hating green, because the only shade he ever saw was that shade that broke his heart.
He saw it now that the days were cloudier and the sun couldn't quite reach the green grass. He saw it now that night crept in faster on the palm trees that surrounded the Palmwoods.
And he saw it now that Jo Taylor had left Kendall for an "ex" and literally flew out of his life to New Zealand where she and that "ex" were filming a modern version of Romeo and Juliet.
Kendall's favorite green shirt that matched his eyes perfectly and emulated Logan's favorite shade of green had been pushed to the back of Kendall's closet. The closet was overtaken by black, as if black had been Kendall's sadness and that green shirt had been his happiness.
And Logan hated it.
He hated seeing his best friend so broken, so anti-social, because of a dumb, beautiful girl that didn't even deserve Kendall's absolute godliness.
Wait…godliness? Logan thought to himself. He could feel his chocolate eyes growing wider. Wheredidthatcomefrom?
"LOGAN!" Logan shook his head, rattling his thoughts, and noticed that James was in his face, waving a perfectly tanned hand, and he hadn't even noticed until then that Carlos had been poking him in the side.
"Oh, hey James. Hey Carlos. When did you guys get back from the pool?" he asked, his voice almost strained. They had caught him off guard when he was deep in thought.
"Like an hour ago. What were you thinking about, man? There was no way to penetrate your deep thought stare," Carlos said as he moved from the spot beside Logan on the vibrant orange couch to Logan's feet, crossing his legs and straightening his helmet over his raven hair. "Yeah, seriously, man. What's up?" James added as he moved to the other end of the couch and casually ran a hand through his coffee-hued perfect hair.
Logan sighed. He didn't know what to tell them. He couldn't tell them that thought he'd had about Kendall being godly…that was just a freak fluctuation of the mind. And he certainly couldn't tell them about the realization he had about his favorite color…that was just a coincidence. But he could tell them part of what was on his mind.
"I'm really worried about Kendall," he began before sighing yet again. "He's been so depressed, he wears all black now, and the only time I see him is when we are at Rocque Records or he is passed out on his bed with his iPod blaring in his ears when I go into our room. I'm not even so sure he eats anymore," he finished. He ran a hand through his spiky raven hair, lightly tugging at it while he impatiently waited for his friends to say something.
When James and Carlos just smiled melancholy smiles that showed Logan they were worried too, but said nothing, Logan continued. "I wish he would just talk to me. I know he's upset about Jo." Saying the name of the girl who had hurt his friend this badly left a taste of venom on his tongue. "But I just wish he would let us in," he said before flopping himself backward on the couch and sighing yet again.
Logan was in the perfect position to look at the ceiling had it not been for his hands covering his closed eyes. James and Carlos just exchanged a look. A look as if they knew something that Logan didn't, but were sworn to secrecy.
The fact of the matter was, they did know something that Logan didn't and they were sworn to secrecy. The fact of the matter was, they felt terrible that they couldn't tell Logan – he looked so upset and so hurt.
The fact of the matter was, Kendall Knight wasn't upset about that dumb girl, Jo. The fact of the matter was, Kendall Knight was gay, and he was in love with his best friend Logan Mitchell.
Kendall told James and Carlos this when they were all in sixth grade. They all instantly became best friends as soon as they saw each other, but Kendall didn't come to terms with the fact that he had been in love with Logan until middle school. But he probably always had been.
Kendall had always been the youngest of the group, so Carlos and James felt the need to protect him. Logan knew he could take care of himself, but he let Carlos and James be Kendall's bodyguards. He didn't want to see Kendall hurt, and he knew that James and Carlos would never allow that to happen.
Kendall met Carlos first when he was 5 and Carlos was 6. Carlos's parents sent him to Kindergarten late. Kendall had been playing on the swings. He loved the swings – the feel of being that close to the birds and the treetops. And then when he stopped swinging to run over to the slide before there was a line, a mean first grader had pushed him off the swing, making him fall into the woodchips flat on his face. Carlos chased that first grader all around the playground, helmet on his head and hockey stick in his left hand, telling him to pick on someone his own size. Then he went to make sure Kendall wasn't hurt. But Kendall was a tough kid. He played hockey. He was used to being pushed around.
When Carlos and Kendall were in first grade, they met James. He moved to Minnesota from California with his mom because she wanted to establish another cosmetics business there. James was 5 months older than Kendall, younger than Carlos. That mean first grader that pushed Kendall was now a mean second grader, and he made fun of James for having girl hair. So Kendall pushed him in the sandbox and Carlos started dumping buckets of sand on him. They all joined the next level of elementary hockey together, and that's when they met Logan.
Logan was a month younger than Carlos, but he was often mistaken for the oldest of the foursome because Carlos still liked to act like a child and Logan was very mature for a second grader. Logan had just moved to Minnesota from Texas because his dad got a good job as a doctor there. That mean kid was now a third grader – Kendall, James, and Carlos were second graders. While Logan was sitting in the bleachers, being a genius and drawing up sketches of the best angles to hit the hockey puck to score a goal every time, that mean kid was saying mean things to Logan, calling him a nerd and a loser. And Kendall was enraged.
Sure he was mad when that boy pushed him off the swing. Yeah he was mad when that boy made fun of James's hair. But he had never been as mad at the boy, or anyone, as he was now for calling Logan names. So Kendall punched him in the face. Needless to say, that kid left the quartet alone now.
And Kendall hadn't found out until sixth grade why he was so protective of Logan.
"Kendall is one of my best friends, and I hate seeing him like this, too," James said, finally breaking the silence.
"But you know Kendall. He'll never admit that he's hurting or upset. He doesn't want to burden us with his problems. He doesn't understand that it wouldn't be a burden at all, because he's a stubborn Knight," Carlos finished, crossing his arms for emphasis after Logan had finally sat up again.
"I know," Logan said with a dejected sigh. "But this is killing me more than I can even fathom," he whispered under his breath, not aware that James had heard him.
"See if you can talk to him," James said while patting Logan on the shoulder.
"Yeah, you're his best friend. If he's going to say anything to anyone, it'll be you," Carlos finished yet again. Logan found it strange how James and Carlos always seemed to be able to finish each other's thoughts. But then he realized he and Kendall had always been the same way. Until Jo walked into Kendall's life.
"I'll try again," Logan said sadly. He didn't really think he would get the depressed blond to open up to him, but he would try again. Because Kendall meant that much to him. And Kendall's pain hurt him more than anyone else's ever had. Because Kendall was his best friend.
Kendall had been lying on his bed flat on his back, clad in black, now-wrinkled sweatpants, staring up at the ceiling while "Just Keep Breathing" by Automatic Loveletter blared in his sapphire-colored ear buds. A silent tear rolled down his already tear-stained cheek as he belted out the lyrics:
The door slams.
I wake up.
Another illusion I have made of this…I cry.
I swept away every tear that I've cried and I swear this was your choice.
So save me from falling at the sound of your voice.
Logan had his ear pressed up to the mahogany door that separated him from his grieving best friend. Kendall's voice had never sounded so broken, so raw, and yet so…beautiful, as it did when he was hurting.
Beautiful? Seriously, Logan…What is wrong with your head today?
Logan knocked on the door, more as a way to linger longer and just listen to Kendall sing than to actually be admitted in.
Kendall's head snapped in the direction of the door. One of his ear buds had fallen out, lying dejectedly on his pillow, and in the absence of Incubus's "Drive," there was a knock at the door. "Come in," Kendall called, hoping that it was no one but Logan. He hadn't really spoken to the beautiful brunette lately, for he'd been entirely too consumed by wallowing in his pathetic-ness. He missed him so much. Missed looking into those chocolate-colored eyes and hearing that angelic voice.
Logan was a bit taken aback by the underlying urgency in the musical tone of Kendall's broken voice. He took a deep breath before making his way in the door and shutting it behind him with a silent click.
Kendall looked like hell. His golden blond locks were sticking up every which way. His eyes, that shade of green that Logan always loved, were now conquered by that shade of green that broke Logan's heart. His face was so obviously tear-streaked. He wore no shirt, which made Logan's breath hitch for some unknown reason, and his now-favorite black sweatpants were wrinkled from lying in bed all day.
"Hey Logie," Kendall started in a small, barely audible voice the first words he had spoken in weeks, and a nickname he hadn't uttered since sixth grade.
It almost looked like Logan blushed at the old nickname…almost. But Kendall knew how sleep-deprived he was and swore his eyes were just playing tricks on him.
"Hey Kendy," Logan said with a small smile as he pulled Kendall's old nickname out of his memory bank.
It almost looked like Kendall smiled at the old nickname…almost. But Logan knew how foreign a shape a smile was for Kendall these days and disregarded it.
"Logie?" Kendall inquired. And for a moment, Logan felt like that little kid that Kendall had saved from being tormented by that bully in second grade.
"Yes Kendy?" Logan replied, not wanting to leave memory lane just yet by using his old nickname for Kendall yet again.
"Will you…Will you just…hold me?" Kendall said in the smallest, most strained voice Logan had ever heard escape from the blond's lips.
Who was he to refuse Kendall? He never could say no to Kendall…And he especially couldn't bring himself to say no now when Kendall's face looked so child-like and broken and hurt and he so obviously needed to feel loved, even if just for a moment. And Logan couldn't say that he was complaining at the thought of holding the broken blond in his arms.
So Logan made his way over to Kendall's bed and pulled the younger boy in his arms, gathering him onto his lap. He made small circles on Kendall's back as he heard the angelic blond crying on his shoulder.
Angelic? Logan thought to himself. Well,Iguesshedoeshaveacertainangelicqualityabouthim.Withthatgoldenhair,andthatgreatsmile,andthoseadorabledimples,andthoseeyes…
Logan didn't try to shake away the thoughts this time as he ran his hand up and down Kendall's smooth, bare back, holding the blond close with the free arm. He even dared to run his fingers through that golden mane once…And he loved the feel of it. He even thought about kissing Kendall in that moment.
And then Logan realized that yes, Kendall, was his best friend, but Kendall had always been more than that. He had always loved Kendall…why had he tried so hard to deny it?
"Logie?" Kendall began in that whisper tone yet again as his beautiful yet tormented green eyes met Logan's watering chocolate ones.
"Yes Kendy?" Logan replied yet again, brushing tears off the blond's perfect face and allowing them to run through Kendall's silky hair yet again.
And just then, Logan's least favorite shade of green disappeared from Kendall's orbs. It was replaced with that beautiful emerald shade, and Logan started to love green again.
Before Logan could even register what was happening, Kendall was closing the gap between their lips and locking them in the sweetest, most perfect kiss Logan could only dream about. It was like their lips were meant to find each other.
And Logan kissed back. And he loved every minute of it.
He brought his now trembling hand to Kendall's slim-yet-defined waist and ran it up and down Kendall's slightly visible abs.
Kendall's obviously shaking hands were entangling themselves in Logan's raven hair as their lips danced together to the sweet music of their hearts, now beating faster than the speed of sound, with the fireworks they both saw behind their eyelids as the only witness.
Years of pent up love and passion flowed through that kiss as Logan gathered Kendall in his arms and laid him down on his bed, hovering over him, their lips not leaving each other's for anything. Kendall pulled Logan impossibly closer to him, bringing him down on top of him. Logan could feel his heart fluttering and his fingertips tingling as they trailed down Kendall's bare sides.
Then they realized they still needed to breathe.
When they pulled away, however hesitantly, emerald melded with chocolate, and Logan pulled Kendall's head to rest on his chest as he laid on his back, playing with those soft golden locks, taking in the smell of Kendall and the feel of Kendall's hand rubbing small circles underneath Logan's emerald green t-shirt.
There was so much love evident in those jade eyes when they looked up at Logan that even if Kendall hadn't whispered in his ear, "I love you, Logan. I always have, and I always will," Logan still would have said, "I love you too, Kendall. I can't believe I didn't notice it before."
And when Kendall's face gave in to that quirky, lopsided smirk, dimples gracing his face for the first time in a long time, his eyes – those eyes that Logan had always been in love with whether he knew it or not – returned to their dazzling emerald shade, brighter than they ever have been before because this time, they danced with pure and unadulterated love.
And Logan's favorite color permanently changed to this shade of green.