He had that dream again. Mario was walking along, in the arctic for some reason. Luigi and Yoshi were right behind him. A strange voice echoed above them, saying something about Bowser and hairdryers. The landscape was littered with penguins and a sign pointed to Bowser's Castle. It all felt…off.

Along the way, Mario and Luigi spoke about defeating Bowser, but they never actually looked at each other. Mario was brave as usual, and Luigi was making up excuses about leaving his toothbrush behind. Eventually, they arrived at the castle. Without turning around, Mario addressed Luigi.

"I'm going in, 'bro," he said in a voice that wasn't his. "Those krazy Koopas must be stopped or all this will be puddles!"

"Right," said an odd voice that must have been Luigi's, "I'll watch the back door. Be way careful M, Bowser's one rascally reptile. And remember, don't take candy from strangers."

"Good advice," echoed a voice from above.

Mario suddenly found himself face-to-snout-with Bowser, who was dressed in a suit for some reason. Was this supposed to be some sort of disguise? Bowser offered him a tray of candy. Mario greedily devoured it (his jaw stretching much wider than it should), and he suddenly found himself ensnared in a net. Bowser laughed as Mario helplessly flailed his arms.

Mario opened his eyes as he groggily came to. He sat in a cold, dark cell. Why had he taken candy from Bowser? Why the arctic? Why did he and Luigi have such strange voices? What was going on?

Just then, he heard the strange voices again. They were saying something about boxers and ants-it was hard to make out.

Suddenly, the wall in front of him opened! Mario smiled and stepped out. "Oh, Luigi," he said in his strange voice, "it's a great thing you did! It's much nicer to be free! I was getting so sick of…AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Mario finally got a good look at the face of his brother. That wasn't Luigi.

It was Weegee.

"No!" cried Mario, suddenly speaking in his normal voice again. "Not you! Anyone but you!"

Weegee did a backflip, oblivious to Mario's screams.

"Yes!" cried the abomination that Mario dreaded. "I never thought I'd see you again! It's a happy day! A happy day!"

He lunged at Mario as if to give him a high five, but Mario dodged the attack. "Get away from me!" he moaned as Weegee gave him a hug. "NOOOO! WAKE UP WAKE UP! ! SOMEONE HELP ME!"

Mario woke up with a fright. The nightmare was over. It always ended that way. He preferred having the one where he fought that stupid frog. At least it was possible to defeat that guy.


See? If you think of it as a strange nightmare, the game suddenly makes sense! It works on "Mario's Time Machine," too.

This was originally going to be part of my "All Those Other Guys" story, but I decided it worked better by itself.