I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself

Please forgive me.

But I promise it will turn out alright in the end.


Gwen was having the time of her life. Arthur had given her a pouch of gold and sent her to the market to buy Merlin a selection of clothes. He was due to grow into a proper child any day now, and would grow out of the baby grows. According to Gaius, Merlin would experience large mood swings as he slowly got older. Arthur had rolled his eyes and said it would be no different to normal. Gwen smiled to herself and shook her head. Arthur really was funny when it came to Merlin. She picked up a small pair of breeches and looked them over.

"Looking for anything in particular, Miss?" The stallkeeper asked.

"I need clothes for a small boy, around seven years of age." Gwen told him. He smiled and pointed at a box underneath the stall table.

"Everything in there is two coins each." He grinned at Gwen. "It's all handmade by me wife, Miss. She's ever such a good seamstress."

"I can see that." Gwen lifted a small shirt from the box. "Do excuse me while I take a look, good sir."

"Take all the time you need miss." The shopkeeper smiled. "And you can call me Tom."

Gwen ended up leaving the stall with a large basket full of clothes. She had spent all of the money Arthur had given her, and also some gold from her own wages. But she really didn't care. It was for Merlin, after all. She was half way back to the castle, when the warning bell rang. Gwen's brow furrowed as a large group of Knights rode from the entrance courtyard to the castle, including Arthur, Gaius, Gwaine, Lancelot and Leon.

"What is it? What's going on?" Gwen asked Lancelot as he slowed down next to her.

"Morgana's men were spotted on the outer walls of Camelot." Lancelot said in panic. "They were fleeing. And they..."

"What?" Gwen prompted, slowly understanding what the Knight was saying.

"They had the body of a small child over the back of one of the horses."

"Merlin." Gwen gasped, tears filling her eyes.


When Arthur and the Knights arrived at the place Morgana's men were spotted, their minds were slightly at ease when they saw no blood had been spilled.

"Did you see any other bodies, Sir Bors?" Arthur asked one of the large, burly knights. Bors shook his head.

"No sir, just a young lad." He said. Arthur swallowed deeply and looked around.

"That means Sir Percival and Sir Elyan must be around here somewhere. Spread out and look, men."

"Here!" Gwaine called suddenly. Arthur, Lancelot, Gaius and Leon ran over to him. Lancelot made a small sickly noise in the back of his throat.

"Percival, are you alright?" Leon asked quickly. The large knight gently tugged at the dagger poking out of his shoulder and winced.

"I've been better."

"Gaius, help him." Arthur said, willing his voice not to crack. Gaius moved forward and got to work straight away.

"Do you feel any pain in any place besided your shoulder?" The physician asked, pulling a few things from the medical bag over his shoulder. Percival shook his head, then let out a cry of pain. "Try not to move."

"Lancelot, stat with Percival." Arthur instructed. Lancelot braced a hand on his friends wrist and nodded at the Prince. "The rest of you, help me look for Elyan."

"No need, sire." Kay called from behind the trees. "Found him. He seems okay."

"Yep, I'm fine sire." Elyan's voice came from the same place as Kay. "Just a bit dizzy. One of Morganas goones knocked me unconcious."

"What happened?" Leon asked, helping Elyan over to a boulder.

"We were just sitting around when Percival said that he could hear something. I listened, and heard nothing. I told Percival that he was being too paranoid, but then we were ambushed by a dozen men in hoods." Elyan said, rubbing his forehead.

"Someone get him a cold cloth for that forehead." Leon ordered. A young knight hurried off. "What happened then?"

"I drew my sword and picked up Merlin. Percival jumped up to cover me, but there were too many. Percival was stabbed and they used the hilt of a sword to knock me out. And t-they took Merlin..."

"We'll find him." Gwaine said, sitting next to Elyan. "We will."

-Twenty Minutes Later-

"I'm not going back!" Percival growled at Arthur.

"You must." Gaius said with a stern look. "You're far to weak to go on and look for Merlin."

"If Elyan can go, then why can't I?" The large knight didn't bring his glare away from Arthur's eyes.

"Because Elyan's wound was not as bad as only danger he has is falling off a horse due to concussion, so as long as he rides with someone, he will be fine." Gaius said a little more gently.

"It is safer for you if you simply return to Camelot and await our return." Arthur said.

"You will have to make me." Percival said, staring deep into Arthur's eyes. "And you may be the prince, Arthur, but nothing and no one will stop me from protecting my brother."

"I'm with Percy, here." Gwaine said, stepping forward.

"Me too." Leon said.

"And I." Lancelot said. "We need him, Arthur. He cares about Merlin just as much as the rest of us." Arthur hesitated a moment. Then he sighed.

"Alright. But you must ride and fight carefully." The prince clapped him on his uninjured shoulder once. "And I apologise for almost making you stay behind. It was wrong of me."

"It's fine, sire." Percival smiled slightly. "You were only looking out for me."

"Right, shall we move on then, princess?" Gwaine asked, rubbing his hands together.

"Yes." Arthur nodded, hopping on the back of a horse. "The sooner we find Merlin the better."

Meanwhile...

Merlin's large eyes looked around the overly large and dark chamber. There were ropes around his wrists and ankles, and he had a piece of cloth tied tightly over his mouth. The young boy was scared stiff. The last thing he remembered was Elyan lifting him up into his arms and whispering something to him. Then there was a lot of screaming... But that was it. Merlin kept what Elyan had whispered going through his mind.

"If this goes badly, I promise we will find you." And for now, all Merlin could do was hope that his big brother's weren't too far behind him.

The door opening in front of him made Merlin jump. Two women walked forward, one of them wearing an evil smirk, the other wearing a slightly pained expression.

"Hello, Merlin." Morgause smirked.

"M-Morgause?" Merlin tried to say through his gag. Morgause sneered.

"Morgana, remove the gag. I wish to speak with this... Little one." Morgana nodded and moved forward. She bent down next to Merlin and untied the gag.

"Good. Now we can speak properly." Morgause smirked.

"What do you want with me? Are you gonna hurt me?" Merlin asked in a small voice, his lip quivering.

"No." Morgause said. "Not yet, at least. You seem to have a certain value in the eyes of the prince and his knights. I will use you to my will."
"And what is your will?" Merlin asked. Morgana scoffed.

"Even as a child he has the cheek to speak out."

"Surely my will is clear." Morgause said, taking a step forward. "I will send a ransom to the knights that are currently searching in the forest for you. I will tell them your location, and when they arrive, I will kill every last one of them. And with Arthur dead, we will be free to attack Camelot and kill Uther Pendragon."
"No!" Merlin cried, struggling against the chains. "You can't hurt Arthur! You can't!"

"And why not?" Morgause sneered down at the child. "What will you do about it, Merlin?"

And for once, Merlin was speechless.


My end-note knights refuse to talk to me now. :(