Here's the second chapter! :) I hope you like it. ^^

The black woman in the alcohol store - Madam Rosmerta

Superbad meets Harry Potter!

Chapter two.

West's are cool now.

"Hey Ron, here's your list." Hermione said in the common room and gave him a piece of paper.

"Thanks." Ron smiled.

"Aren't you supposed to be ..-buying alcohol right now?" Hermione grinned a bit.

"Yes.. we should."

Ron turned around to Neville and dragged him up to the boys bed room.

"What should I wear to look like an adult?" Ron asked after he closed the door.

"I don't know, something ordinary, like a knitted cardigan or..."

"I don't look like an adult if I wear clothes that my mom made for me!" Ron hissed at Neville.

"Wear a shirt... or a work uniform!" Neville snapped his fingers and pointed at the shirtless Ron. "-Or you should make a polyjuice potion!"

"It takes like -two months to make it! And I'm not good at potions."

"Wear a shirt then." Neville shrugged his shoulders.

"That are you gonna wear?"

"Just ordinary clothes. ..-Should we check your brothers closet?"

– –

"What are you wearing?" Ron almost screamed, when he saw Harry walking to them. Harry was wearing a shirt, a brown vest and black pants. "What the fuck is that?" Ron pointed at Harry's vest.

"It's a vest, man." Harry said.

"You look like a young and good looking Hagrid."

"Really?" Neville looked at them both.

Neville wore a jumper and pants, and Ron was wearing his older brother Percy's formal suit, the one that Percy is wearing when he works at the Ministy of Magic.

They stood in front The Hog's Head in Hogsmeade, and it was sunny and hot outside.

"Okay, they have a lot of booze in there, it would be easy to walk in there and buy some." Ron said and pointed to the pub.

"I can't walk in there!" Harry said. "I'm working there! He knows I'm not 21."

"For bloody hell's sake I wasn't talking about you!" Ron hissed at Harry. "We're not using your fake ID! It's not gonna work. I must do it, by my own."

"Are you working there?" Neville asked Harry.




"Okay", Ron interrupted. "Wish me luck." He walked away and into the pub.

Harry looked at Neville and said: "Hey, my aunt said that I could bring my Game Boy to the summer camp-"

"Just shut up Harry, okay?" Neville interrupted. "And take off your vest, you look like Flitwick."

"Okay.. I should..." Harry interrupted himself. He realized that it was an akward moment and that he shouldn't speak at all.

"And what the fuck is an game boy?"

– –

Ron opened the door and looked inside. The old bartender Aberforth looked at Ron when he was walking towards to him.

"What do you want?" The old man said angry.

"Uhh..." Ron checked his list from Hermione and said: "I would like some butter beer... Whiskey..."

"I don't have any alcohol left do offer you. Go to The Three Broomsticks, they have all that shit."

"Uhh... okay."

Ron walked to the door.

"Have a nice day." Aberforth said, but Ron didn't answer. He walked to his two friends again and Neville asked: "How did it went?"

"Bad. That old man didn't have any booze left. We have to go to The Three Broomsticks. ..."

"Can't we use my fake ID?" Harry asked.

Ron sighted. "Sure.. but take off your stupid west."

– –

"Here's the list." Ron said and gave Harry the list. Harry looked confused.

"What's the list for?" He asked.

"The alcohol you're gonna buy."

"Uh-huh.." Harry started to read it, slowly to himself. "Butter beer... Kyles Killer Lemonade... Vodka... Whiskey..." He looked at Ron and Neville.

"Yeah", Ron said. "That's right. Go into the pub now and get our fuckin' booze!"

"Uhh.." Harry grimaced. "I..."

"What the fuck is wrong now Harry?" Neville asked.

"This is a lot of stuff."

"What difference does it make?"

"I don't think I can get away with all of this... I-I'm starting to get a little bit nervous.. I'm sweating..!"

Neville stared at Harry. "Harry what the problem now-"

"Just- I don't think I can make it! I should wear my west!"

"What the-" Ron shouted.

"What if my fake ID doesn't work? What if she turns me down? And makes a fool out of me in front of all those people? I can't do that!"

"This whole thing is bigger than you Harry! So grow a pair of nuts and go and by the alcohol!" Ron screamed.

Harry crossed his arms on his chest and snorted. "What if I don't feel like any more Ron?"

"Then I'm gonna fuckin' kill you! I'm gonna take my wand and kill you with the killing curse."

"You can do this man." Neville said to Harry, but he didn't listen.

"You can't get the alcohol by killing me off! I'm the one with the fake ID!" Harry said and started to act like a little child.

"Then I will cut off your hair, make a polyjucie potion off it and take your fake ID and go by it myself!" Ron screamed.

"Oh yeah?" Harry replied. "Really? You're not good at making potions, and it will take months to make a potion like that. So -HAH!" Harry made the peace sign right in front off Ron's face and said: "PEACE!"

Ron pushed him away and Harry started to walk to the pub.

Neville said: "Just be cool, okay? Get in and get out. Okay?"

– –

Harry walked into the pub and he couldn't see so may people at the tables. He felt a little bit lucky and started to walk to Madam Rosmerta to order all his alcohol. He walked towards to Rosmerta and said: "I want to order.." Harry picked up his list. "A six-pack of butter beer, three bottles of vodka, one bottle of whiskey... and three bottles of Kyles Killer Lemonade."

"Sure, but can I see your ID first?" Madam Rosmerta said.

"Oh, it makes me feel young again!" Harry said and grinned. He picked up his wallet from his pocket and gave Rosmerta his fake ID.

Rosmerta looked closely at it, looked at the smiling Harry, raised one eyebrow and said: "That will be 30 galleons and 10 sickles please."

Harry started to give Rosmerta all the money, but then he got punched in the face and fell on the floor and fainted. The man who punched Harry was wearing a black cape and he wore a black cone hat and a skull mask. He took all the money and then ran away from the pub.

Madam Rosmerta screamed, she went for her owl, a parchment and a quill. She gasped: "Oh- my- god-!" many times as she started to write on the parchment and then attached it to the owl. Then she opened the window and let the owl fly away. "To the order! Quickly!" She said. Then she walked to Harry and helped him up. "Are you okay mister?"

"What the fuck was that?" Harry whined.

Two men walked into the pub. The first one had greasy brownish hair and a lot of scars on his face and the other one had black curly hair down to his shoulders.

– –

"Oh no.." Neville said.


"To men just walked into the pub, and they're talking about Harry!"

"Oh god. Is it teachers?"

"Worse, it's men from The Order of The Phoenix."

"Fuck!" Ron screamed. "How do we supposed to get alcohol now?"

"Hey, what about Harry?"

"Fuck Harry! The alcohol is much more important than him!"

Neville stared at Ron. "What?"

"Come on, let's leave!"

"No, I wanna see what's happe-"

"Okay then. I'm going!" Ron started to walk away, but he walked right on another man.

"Oh! I'm sorry!" The man said and helped Ron up.

"Piss off!" Ron dragged himself away.

"No, really, I'm sorry."

Neville walked to them. "What's going on?"

"I heard you talking about booze. I can help you get some. I'm actually going to a party, we have lots of booze there."

Neville frowned his forehead. He didn't really trust that guy. "No th-"

"Sure!" Ron interrupted.

"Cool, so... follow me."

Neville stared at Ron when they started to walk behind the man.

– –

"Thank god you're here!" Madam Rosmerta said.

"Right, how did he look?" The man with the brown hair said.

"He wore a black cape, a black cone hat and a skull mask."

"Right.. he's a member of the muggle guild KKK." They said and wrote it down on their notepad.

"No! He's an death eater." Madam Rosmerta answerd.

"A what?" The black haired man said.

"A death eater."

"Do he eat dead people?" The brown haired man asked and made a grimace.

"No, it's their name, on their... league."

"So he eats dead people?" The black haired man asked.

"No! Listen up, okay? The death eaters works for Voldemort!"

The man from the order nodded and wrote down at their notepad. "A man who eat dead people and is a member of the muggle guild KKK lead by Voldemort..."

"No!" Rosmerta screamed. "It's the name of their... just, -never mind. I'm so tired! I have been up and selling beer since 4 o'clock this morning! This- morning-!" She walked away.

The men stared at her with big eyes. "Okaaay." The black haired man said. And then they turned around to Harry and said: "Aaand you're the one who got punched."

"Yeah." Harry replied. "..Sorry, I didn't see his face, I can't give you-"

"That's okay", the brown haired man interrupted. "But we have to ask you for your name."

"My name?" Harry's eyes got big.


"It's..." Harry swallowed. "M-...McPotter."

"And what's your first name?"

"Technically, I don't have any first name." Harry grinned.

The men stared at Harry for a bit. Then they smiled and the black haired man said: "Badass!"

"Yeah, totally badass." The other man said. "People have many weird name nowadays. Like Tom Riddle and Dumb-leee-dooore."

Harry calmed himself down. They fell for it.

"So it's only McPotter?" The brown haired man said.


"Okay, can we see your ID?"

Harry nodded slowly. This was it. He gave them the card and Harry stopped breathing.

The men looked at the ID and then at each other, they whispered things and then the brown haired man said with a grin: "You're an organ doner."

Harry started to laugh and he relaxed. "Wha- yeah."

"Well, I'm Lupin, and he's Sirius Black." The brown haired man said. "Do you need a ride to...?"

"I-I'm going to a party."

"We can drive you there." Sirius Black said.

"No- my friends-"

"Come on, let's go."