A Lion's Curiosity

AN: I know that Lucius is older then Sirius and his gang of Lions and most of the Snakes are also different ages but for this stories purpose they are all in the same year. I also would like to say that I have nothing against blonds so don't take anything in this story personal. It is all in good fun and If I could find any good jokes about other hair colors other characters would be forced to endure them too.


Sirius Black The Flirt of Gryffindor bolted around another corner muttering under his breath as he pelted madly down the hall. "Shit, shit, shit." He skidded around another corner black shoes sliding on the stone floor as his momentum carried him into a collision course with a suit of armor. He just barely managed not to take out the armor but in doing so he collided with another body sending both of them tumbling to the floor in a surprised heap.

Sirius groaned softly reaching out blindly to grab the other person's wrist and pushed himself up into a sitting position. He took a moment to note that the person's skin was warm and soft beneath his fingers before he realized just who it was that he was now straddling in such an intimate position.

He was so dead.

Cold silver eyes glared up at the manically smirking lion, . "Black, get off of me."

Sirius cocked his head, "well now you see I really can't do that."

"Oh?" one pale blond eyebrow rose in skepticism, "and just why not?"

"well," Sirius shifted his weight a bit settling himself more firmly on top of the other boy. "If I get off of you right now, I have less chance of getting away from you before you hex me seven ways from Sunday. On the other hand the longer I sit on you the more likely you are to hex me anyway." He ignored the blond's venomous look, "so until I can think of something we're stuck like this.

Lucius clinched his jaw, "I Said, get off!"

"And I already explained to you why I couldn't," Sirius leaned down so the two were almost face to face, "do keep up would you. I really hate having to explain myself again. I know you're hair color isn't your fault but do try."

Lucius fought to keep the frown of confusion off his face, "what does my hair color have to do with anything?"

Sirius rolled his eyes, "well it's common knowledge that blonds are rather dence and that things quite often fly past them as if their minds were nothing but air."

Silver eyes narrowed, "is that so?"

Sirius nodded again, "but you're cute so you can be forgiven for being a shallow, conceited, rigid, egotistical, flighty, ponce." He leaned down, "hmm, you smell good too."

Meanwhile Lucius Malfoy Ice Prince of Slytherin was inventing a new shade of red and painting his cheeks with his creation. "I said, get off."

Sirius cocked his head suddenly seized with curiosity and maybe a desire to tees the blond a bit. "Why?" He trailed a finger tenderly along the pale jaw.

Lucius now in the process of creating a second new shade of red turned his face away from the black haired lion. "Bec-because I s-said so." By now the Fates had, undoubtedly fallen out of their chairs and were rolling on the floor as they laughed at his plight. Lucius hoped the sadistic bastards would wet themselves

Now really curious to see what kind of reactions he could get out of the ice prince Sirius began to trail his fingers over more of the soft skin.

"St-s-stop," Lucius squirmed under the other boy's soft caresses. To his absolute mortification his voice came out not as the cold demand it was supposed to be but as a breathy plea. The blond decided that he needed to revise his thought from a few seconds ago. The Fates were sadistic cruel bastards and were probably cackling maniacally over his predicament. They deserved whatever could be thrown at them preferably things that were sharp and pointy by nature. Screw that, they just needed the AK shot at them.

Sirius grinned mentally this was actually a lot of fun, he'd never would have dreamed that he would actually get to see the normally icy blond helpless like this.

But he was still going to be quite dead.

Unless he could come up with a way to make the Prince of Snakes forget about killing him as soon as he got free that is.

He grinned, let's see.

The black haired lion leaned down pressing his lips to the pale neck where a moment before his fingers had been caressing the trapped blond angel kissing him gently.

"Gahh," Lucius twisted in the other's grip in a useless attempt to free himself from the other teen. This wasn't supposed to happen! He was a Malfoy! And Malfoys didn't submit to anyone but yet here he was flat on his back at the Lion's mercy. And he was even faintly enjoying the feeling of the other's teeth nipping at his neck.

But hell would freeze over before the ice prince would even admit it to himself let alone anyone else. Denial was more then just a river in Egypt.

Sirius took advantage of Lucius' momentary mental distraction to press their lips together. He smiled drawing back slightly, "hey Malfoy, I've got a question for you."

Lucius blinked still slightly disorientated from the kiss, "what."

"So why do blonds wear their hair up?"


Sirius smirked, "to catch everything that goes over their head."

Silver eyes narrowed, "Die!"


"What do you snakes think you're doing up here? This is lion territory." James potter glared at the small group of Slytherins that had just rounded the corner.

Severus Snape sneered at the two lions before him, "that is none of your business Potter." He folded his arms across his chest, "this corridor is open for anyone to walk through. But if your tiny little mind can't comprehend that fact then I'll try to simplify it farther for you."

James opened his mouth to launch his own insult back at Snape but before he could get anything out Sirius came barreling around the nearest corner and ran past at full speed laughing manically.

Remus blinked in confusion, "what, on, earth?"

His question was suddenly answered as a certain platinum blond snake came racing around the same corner looking ready to kill. "Black! I'm going to incinerate you, dip your ashes in oil and incinerate them again!" The blond shot between the now doubly surprised group of Slytherins and Gryffindors and kept going down the hall after the retreating black haired prankster.

Bellatrix blinked, "was that?..."

Rodolphus nodded, "yes."

"And was he?" continued Bellatrix.

"Yep," sighed Rabastan.

Remus winced, "that's going to be messy."

"Uh huh," agreed James.

Severus frowned, "what could Black have done to get Lucius to react like that?"

The answer suddenly came floating down the hall, "Hey Malfoy! Why does it take longer to build a blond snowman then a regular one?"

Severus' eyes widened, "he didn't just, did he?"

Remus' eyes widened as well, "oh, my, God."

"Black! You are so dead."

"Not if you can't catch me."


Later that night after Sirius had finished telling the story of just how he'd run into Malfoy and gotten away with life and limbs attached. The Gryffindor common room was dead silent as people stared at him in mingled shock and awe.

It was James who finally broke the silence, "you actually kissed Malfoy?"

"And then quoted a few blond jokes at him?" added in Remus.

Sirius leaned back in his chair, "yea," he got a dreamy look on his face. "For a slimy snake, he wasn't a bad kiss."

James gagged, "you're kidding me."

"Well," smiled Sirius, "you do have to admit Lucius is attractive."

"Yea, muttered Peater, "if you're in to icy, egotistical, stuck up blonds who would rather rip your heart out and stamp on it as soon as look at you."

Sirius frowned, "hmm, that could be a problem." He then grinned, "but I do love a good challenge." Dark gray eyes sparkled as their owner proceeded to plot while rubbing his hands together cackling manically.

The other Marauders shook their heads at their friend and not for the first time questioned his sanity in their minds.


Deep in the dungeons safely ensconced in a black leather chair next to the Slytherin common room fire Lucius Malfoy shivered. It felt just for a moment like someone had walked over his grave. The blond shook his head sneering to himself Black wouldn't be stupid or insane enough to try anything.

…Or, would He?...