I OWN NOTHING!
They stared at their teacher, honestly not believing what he'd just told them. Hadn't he gotten tired of that stupid hat yet? Maybe Coach Sylvester was right and all that hair gel really was affecting his brain.
"Mr. Schue, I really don't think this is a good idea." Rachel told him.
"I agree with the midget." Santana had sat up when she heard the curly-haired idiot's idea.
"I understand your concerns, but this is a chance to honestly work out any issues you might have between another member of the club, or just to get to know them better." Will smiled brightly at them. "So, instead of having you pick names out of the hat, I already made up the pairs."
"The hat must just be for show then," Quinn muttered, hoping that Mr. Schuester had paired her with Rachel. At least then the assignment wouldn't be too bad.
"Alright, so Finn will be working with Lauren," Will missed Puck glaring at his friend as well as Lauren's threatening smile and Finn sinking into his seat with fear. "Puck will work with Sam, Tina and Quinn, Mike and Artie, Brittany and Mercedes…"
"Oh no," Rachel whispered to herself. This was going to be bad, she could just tell.
"And Rachel will work with Santana." Will finished. "Now, I don't want you talking with anyone but your partner until after you perform. I want you guys to concentrate on getting to truly know each other."
"Kill me now," Santana eyed Rachel with caution.
"So," their tormentor was continuing, "everybody, move to sit with your partner."
Rachel swallowed tightly as Santana approached her. She wished Mr. Schuester had paired her with anyone else, even Finn.
"Let's get one thing straight," Santana told her, "I loathe you and I'm not doing some fucking show tune."
"Santana, please refrain from using vulgar language in my presence," Rachel replied. "I am willing to listen to your suggestions—"
"Shut it, come up with something, and I'll think about it." Santana told her, pulling out her phone to text Brittany.
Rachel fumed, tugging out some sheet music and beginning to work on it. Wait…loathe…that was it! That song would be perfect with just a little tweaking. Plus, it wouldn't make anyone jealous when they performed. She smiled to herself as she began taking notes on what words could be changed to fit her partner.
"I said no show tunes midget," Santana told her.
"It's an amazing song Santana," Rachel told her, trying to keep her sentences short. "Will you at least look at it?"
"Fine," the taller brunette snatched the sheet music and began to look it over. The title was certainly appropriate…she snickered at some of the word changes. "Not bad Berry, how soon can we get this done?"
"By Thursday," Rachel told her. "Kurt, Blaine, and three of their friends on the Warblers have already agreed to sing the chorus parts for us. We'll be the last to go, but I think it will be worth it."
"You expected me to agree?" Santana shot a look at the girl, who swallowed.
"Not entirely, but if you have any suggestions I would be glad to hear them." Rachel really hoped Santana would go along with this and that Quinn would know all the girl's possible hiding places.
"Whatever, let's get this over with." Santana sneered as Rachel beamed at her.
"Perfect, Brad as already agreed to assist us." Rachel handed over a third set of sheet music to the silent piano player.
Will grinned as Finn and Lauren finished their rendition of GiddyonUp, although he winched as Lauren once again shoved Finn, who was only back up to Lauren for the song. Puck whistled in appreciation, enjoying the spectacle of his girl pushing around the golden boy.
Puck and Sam got up and performed InOneEar, grinning at the amused looks on most of the girls' faces. Most of the girls had gone the day before, leaving only Rachel and Santana to go. Artie and Mike came up after them and wowed them all with SmoothCriminal.
"Okay, Rachel, Santana, the floor is yours." Will told them, wanting to see what they had come up with.
"Actually Mr. Schue, we're waiting for—"
"No one," Kurt, followed by Blaine, Wes, a slim boy named Eric and a shy, blushing boy named Aaron, entered the choir room. "Sorry, someone got lost on the way here." He looked pointedly at Aaron.
"About time Lady," Santana told him.
"Thank you for agreeing to help us with this," Rachel told them, hugging them all. She quickly introduced the boys that the others hadn't met before she and Santana took their places.
Santana: Dearest darlingest Mamí and Papí:
Rachel: My dear Fathers:
Both: There's been some confusion Over rooming here at Shiz:
Rachel: But of course, I'll care for Nessa:
Santana: But of course, I'll rise above it: (She looked down at Rachel with a smirk. Rachel humphed and turned away with a flip of her hair.)
Both: For I know that's how you'd want me to respond/Yes/There's been some confusion/For you see, my roommate is:
Santana: Unusually and exceedingly annoying/And altogether quite impossibleto describe:
Rachel: Satan. (She looked at Santana with a glare as several people in the room snickered.)
Santana: What is this feeling, So sudden and new? (She turned and stalked towards Rachel.)
Rachel: I felt the moment/I laid eyes on you; (She did the same, coming closer with each phrase they sang.)
Santana: My pulse is rushing;
Rachel: My head is reeling;
Santana: My face is flushing;
Both: What is this feeling?/Fervid as a flame,/Does it have a name?/Yes! Loathing/Unadulterated loathing
Santana: For your face; (Rachel covered her nose briefly before taking a step closer and stabbing Santana in the chest for her next line.)
Rachel: Your voice;
Santana: Your clothing; (Once more, Rachel pretended offense and turned away from her duet partner.)
Both: Let's just say - I loathe it all/Ev'ry little trait, however small/Makes my very flesh begin to crawl/With simple utter loathing/There's a strange exhilaration/In such total detestation/It's so pure, so strong!/Though I do admit it came on fast/Still I do believe that it can last/And I will be loathing/Loathing you/My whole life long!
(By this time the were glaring at each other from opposite sides of the piano. The boys arranged themselves behind Santana.)
Warblers: Dear Glenda, you are just too good/How do you stand it? I don't think I could!/She's a terror! She's a Tartar!/We don't mean to show a bias,/But Glenda, you're a martyr!
Santana: Well; these things are sent to try us! (She smirked and threaded her way between the boys as they sang the next part.)
Warblers: Poor Glenda, forced to reside/With someone so disgusticified/We just want to tell you:/We're all on your side!/We share your;
Both: What is this feeling/So sudden and new?/I felt the moment/I laid eyes on you/My pulse is rushing/My head is reeling/Oh, what is this feeling?/Does it have a name?/Yes/Ahhh
Warblers: Loathing/Unadulterated loathing/For her face, her voice, her clothing/let's just say - we loathe it all/ev'ry little trait however small/makes our very flesh being to crawl/AHHH!
(They all went into a tight group before exploding into two separate entities. Rachel stood alone, sneering at all of them while the boys, led by Santana, smirked at her.)
(The two girls began to approach each other again.)
Both: There's a strange exhilaration
Both: In such total detestation
Both: It's so pure, so strong
Warblers: So strong!
Both: Though I do admit it came on fast/Still I do believe that it can last/And I will be...
Both: loathing/For forever...
Both: loathing,/Truly deeply loathing you/loathing you/My whole Life long!
(They were face to face, neither willing to back down.)
Warblers: Loathing, Unadulterated loathing
Rachel jumped. Santana grabbed her, kissing her soundly before releasing her.
Brittany jumped up and kissed Rachel next before falling onto Santana to make out with her, regardless of their audience. Santana didn't stop her or pull away.
What Quinn did surprised everyone. She had followed Brittany, grabbing Rachel after the taller blonde released her. She kissed Rachel and then turned to face the others while she hugged the smaller girl to her side.
"She's mine, get over it."
Then they went back to kissing among the chaos.
Brad smiled. "I believe," he said to the various band members and Will, "that I won the bet. Pay up."
For all those who might be curious, here are the songs each pair did:
Rachel&Santana: What is This Feeling? (Wicked)
Lauren&Finn: Giddy on Up (Laura Bell Bundy)
Puck&Sam: In One Ear (Cage the Elephant)
Brittany&Mercedes: Over the Rainbow (Judy Garland)
Quinn&Tina: Firework (Katy Perry)
Mike&Artie: Smooth Criminal (Micheal Jackson)