A/N... Oops...thought I'd uploaded this but obviously forgot. Last chapter, hope you've all enjoyed this as much as I did writing it! Massive thanks to those of you that have reviewed or added me to alerts - always good to know someone out there is reading my stories ;-) Please feel free to leave me a review after this one...reviews feed my writing soul!
Just encase it doesn't click right away - this chapter is set during the episode 'Too Tough To Die' (116)...
...
Memories
...
Grissom rounded the corner at the sound of raised voices. He paused when he saw Catherine and Eddie down the hallway. He didn't really want to interfere; after his conversation with Catherine earlier that day he assumed they had a lot to talk about. But their voices were growing louder, people were starting to notice and he realised he might have to step in soon.
The instant he saw Eddie grab Catherine's wrists and back her up against a wall his instincts kicked in and he was down the corridor, pulling Eddie off her before he registered moving.
"Let go of her Ed." He suddenly felt more protective of Catherine than usual, and feeling the waves of mixed emotions coming from her in that moment the feeling was warranted. "Catherine?" There were a lot more questions fitted into that single word than should have been possible. He knew her well enough to know that she'd understand all that he was asking.
"Just get him out of here." Was her reply, before she pushed herself away from the wall and turned to leave, refusing to make eye contact with either of them before she walked away.
He found her a few minutes later, sitting in the locker room. Her back to the door, legs drawn up on the bench in front of her, arms wrapped tightly around them.
"Catherine?" He heard a strange noise in response. It almost sounded like a gasp, a sob and a sniff all rolled into one. He could see her shoulders trembling from where he stood, and wondered if she was crying. Gil wasn't sure he'd ever actually seen Catherine cry. He'd seen her upset, sure, but she usually let anger overpower the sadness.
He quietly closed the door behind him, before walking up to her, taking a seat near to her on the bench, twisting his body slightly so that he could see her face. She wasn't crying. Her eyes were full of tears but her cheeks remained dry. Which lead him to wonder why her body was shaking so much. She hadn't yet shown any recognition that he had sat down beside her, rather appearing to be lost far away in thoughts.
"Cath, you're shaking." Gil laid a hand on her arm as he spoke, shocked when her body flinched away instinctively. She looked down at the floor, her thoughts obviously back in the room with him now. He took a deep breath, wondering what to do. He wasn't really programmed for these kinds of situations, but she was his friend, and she obviously needed someone right now so he'd do what he could. "Cath, are you scared of him?" She would never understand how out of the blue he could hit the nail on the head like that.
Catherine closed her eyes for a moment, taking a deep breath before they opened and she began to speak.
"He just reminded me of something I thought I'd forgotten." She paused there, wondering how to explain, how much to tell him. A little voice in the back of her head told her there wasn't much point trying to hide the truth now, her defences were too weakened to resist any real pressure. "I lied to you, Gil." She could see the surprise cover his face out of the corner of her eye. "I don't know if you remember, just over a year ago I was off for a couple of weeks with the flu?"
"Yeah, I remember, it's not like you to have time off."
"I didn't have the flu." She took another deep breath. "I had a couple of broken ribs."
"What?" Gil noticed the way Catherine tensed as he raised his voice, and made an effort from then on to keep it neutral, even if he didn't feel like it should be.
"I didn't want anyone to know, so I lied." She admitted, a horribly vulnerable and pained tone to her voice that Grissom wasn't used to hearing from her. She always seemed so strong.
"Eddie?" Catherine nodded gently. "Why didn't you tell me?" Catherine didn't answer for a moment.
"I don't know." She shook her head slowly. "I was ashamed, I didn't want anyone to know what had happened. I thought if I could just find a reason for not really seeing anyone for a couple of weeks I'd have time to heal and nobody would need to know." She sighed. "I convinced my mother I was too ill to take care of Lindsey, Eddie had gone away for a few days, so she stayed with her."
"I spoke to you on the phone – you sounded terrible."
"I felt pretty terrible for a few days, and then I just strung it out until I thought I could hide the pain whilst I was at work."
"God, Catherine. I wish you had told me."
"I didn't want to become that person, we see it all the time, people treat you differently once they know. I didn't want that."
As Catherine fell silent, Grissom realised he didn't really know what to say to that. There was no point assuring her that none of them would have treated her differently, because it's only natural that they would. Nick and Warrick would probably have become more protective. He wasn't even sure what he would have done.
"What happened just now – I haven't seen that side of Eddie since. He knew he'd made a mistake and I left as soon as I could find a good reason."
"Other than him hitting you?" Gil couldn't help the sarcasm that spilled out.
"A good reason I didn't mind explaining." She expanded, a hint of annoyance in her tone. "I almost forgot about it. Until today." The annoyance slipped away as quickly as it had appeared, being replaced by sadness and pain.
Suddenly it all made sense to Grissom. Why she was so scared, why she had sounded ready to cry when she asked him to get Eddie out of the lab. She was tough, she put up with a lot without ever faltering, but everybody had their limits. Catherine had reached hers when old fears came out to play. Old issues she'd obviously never taken the time to deal with.
Gil did something uncharacteristic then; he placed an arm around Catherine's shoulders, pulling her closer to him. She was sure she could count on one hand the amount of times they'd hugged in the years they'd known each other. Overcoming her surprise at the action, she laid her head on his shoulder and let the comfort of simply being held spread through her.
Catherine took a shaky breath as she began to relax; realising her control over her emotions was about to slip away from her. Her hand came up to cover her face as a sob escaped, soon followed by a steady flow of tears. She'd tried to hold everything together for too long. Everyone needed to break down occasionally.
Gil didn't say a word; he just held her, let her cry and sob and mutter incoherently and sat with her through it all until she finally settled down.
Before they left the locker room to return to work and their normal lives, Catherine grabbed hold of one of his hands and simply looked at him. Gil met her eyes and at first expected her to say something, yet soon realised she didn't have the words for what she wanted to say. He could easily read the expressions on her face, the gratitude that he'd been there for her, and hoped she'd realise that he would always be there, whenever she needed a friend. Despite his own lacking to find the appropriate words.
The delicate smile that graced her face and slight squeeze of his hand before she left told him that she understood.
Sometimes words were an unnecessary accessory.
...